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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

In tatters !!

27 replies

D4RREN · 26/05/2020 02:16

I have no idea where to start, I am a single, once amazing Dad, but for some years now after moving to a new town with my two son's (Twin's now age 13) my life and my mental health has been slowly slipping away from me. One of many decisions I have come to regret was moving from my home town but one of many I had made under pressure of doing what I felt or have been led to believe was best for my children. To cut a long story short. I have raised from the age of 5 my two sons's who have both had or have very challenging behavioral difficulties due to early years neglect. The first 4 years I was doing great despite all the challenges and stigma that came with raising twins with significant behaviour and mental health issue's and very little to no support what at all from my family. (the very reason I moved to a new town in the first place). The problems came when the kids started school, it was very clear they where unlike most children and many a person professional or not have had shared their views on what needs to be done and to this day have yet to provide any support which meets my children s needs. Chams, Social services, schools, early intervention, educational authorities, you name it I have been to every meeting, heard every opinion but still my children do not get the support they need. I have even been through CP proceedings accused of neglect myself which absolutely hammed me into the ground and since then I just haven't been able to pick myself up. Through part of this time I met my parnter who was a massive rock for me but now after a massive stroke I find myself caring for her too, and I am really struggling to cope. I am very withdrawn, my relationship with my partner and children are in tatters, and I am now struggling with drug addiction too !!! Please what the hell do I do to turn this shit around because I am completely lost and dont know where to start....

OP posts:
thosetalesofunexpected · 23/03/2021 01:19

You need to look on the internet to find out about different professional Therepists who do these various Therapies .

Also ask Your Doctors surgery if they know have a list of good counselling Therapists /CBT cognitive Behavioural therapists in your area too.

D4RREN · 23/03/2021 01:58

@thosetalesofunexpected

You need to look on the internet to find out about different professional Therepists who do these various Therapies .

Also ask Your Doctors surgery if they know have a list of good counselling Therapists /CBT cognitive Behavioural therapists in your area too.

I have done some of the above, I already know the why's when's and how's...It all ball's down to accepting and wanting to do something about it at the end of the day. Counselling has helped. and i'm sure CBT works for some, accessing these services is'nt and I am accessing servises in my area if I need too. I do feel for those who are trully on their own. I am fortunate enough, to have found support from enexpected friends who have been the biggest factor in getting back on my feet...I am focused at the moment on more possative thing's, and generally in a better place, a lot of healling to be done though if ever, but thanks
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