How do I stop feeling angry

[Willowmartha1]

I know I shouldn't feel a angry but I do ! Met someone before lockdown had a couple of dates and have kept in touch ever since but the last two days I've had no contact. He was full of big plans for when lockdown was over and I feel cheated and angry that he has just cut off contact without no explanation. I feel like angrily messaging him and saying 'remember me' but then I make myself look silly and I don't want to give him the satisfaction that I'm even bothered !!

@crystalspider thanks for your nice response !! Yes I do wonder if there is someone else lurking, he has two exes that he sees and is in touch with so I wonder if that has been reignited and I was just a plaything until they came back to him. When I last saw him his phone pinged constantly.

@numbsmet totally agree I think the fact that he messaged me daily made me look for his message each day. Feel like he has reeled me in then got bored. I'm not going to contact him as I think he has a nasty side and don't want a horrible message back or for him to blank me. I was looking forward to our dates after lockdown now I feel I have nothing to look forward to 😥

Well, you have the thrill of meeting someone nicer to look forward to some Mumsnetters would kill to be in your shoes. I know you must be feeling shitty after that and I'm sorry. FWIW I do hope you meet someone so so much nicer (if that is what you want) - and you can't do that if you're dating this prick, because you have standards x

Yeh that's shitty. On the bright side if your gut tells you he has a nasty streak then you are well rid of him.

Maybe go for a wee walk in the sun.
Whenever i feel a bit low and its sunny, I take a picnic up to the park :) always feel like it's hard to be sad when theres nice scenery and its sunny.

Why were you dating him if you think he has a nasty side??

Why would you rather ignore someone you've spoken to for 2 months than send a text? That's really weird. Literally the worst that can happen is he doesn't reply and you have your answer

It sounds as though you've had a narrow escape from this one.

I would hate to go out with someone whose phone was pinging constantly. It'd be like going out with a 14 year old. The least he could do was turn the sound off.

@Pollypocket89 because if you do message him, you open yourself up to either more ghosting, a nasty snappy response, or an overly affectionate apology about why he 'just couldn't' get in touch despite obviously being online. For a lot of people, mind games like that are just exhausting and it's better to put them to one side than to engage with them. If it seems extreme then he can decide that for himself and shrug his shoulders, but stuff like this isn't worth investing time into.

But we don't know why he's actually not messaged. Maybe it's something as simple as him not wanting to always be the one contacting first and not some big drama

@Pollypocket89 I see what you're saying but that is not actually any better - if he's fed up of always making the first move he could discuss it with OP, just like you think she should be discussing her problem with him. He started the unreasonable behaviour first and it's not always the woman's job to be the bigger person. Things like this are time and time again identified as red flags, so many people have come out the worse for trying to be 'reasonable' and pursuing a relationship with somebody who wasn't emotionally available from the very start, just so as not to be 'too harsh'. OP has a right to react to how she's being treated and she's not hurting anybody by walking away.

Plus, OP already mentioned that the last person to initiate contact was herself.

I don’t understand, you’ve only been on two dates? How could he see you as a play thing? And why do you suddenly think he’s got a nasty side? Did something happen on those dates?

Just had a message from him I've definitely been friend zoned it was polite and cool not his usual style !

I'm afraid he sounds like a bit of a player, he's come on too strong and then probably got someone else to message daily now so you've been dropped move on from this guy, I also bet he'll crop up again in about 2-4 weeks time trying to get into your good books again promising you amazing dates and all sorts but remember he's not been sincere, good luck x