Heartbroken: who found love after 30?

[heartbrokenandafraid]

I'm in a very dark place right now as my boyfriend has told me he wants to end our two year relationship. He no longer wants to have children, I do. He says he can't live with the guilt of preventing me. We've had a lot of bad luck with various things and he says he's not sure he can handle our relationship at its current stress level. I think he's just worn out and wants out. He says he still loves me, but I'm not sure if I believe him.

I love him more than anything and I can't bear the thought of being with anyone else. Very low and having very dark thoughts.

Please share any stories if you are happily with someone that you met later in life? I'm just about to turn 32.

Thank you 

This thread gives me hope so thank you OP for posting it. I'm sorry you're heartbroken, I've just found myself single again at 35, and I'm feeling so sad about it. As if I will never meet someone who could actually be the love of my life.

It's so hard to be heartbroken, and I really hope that you feel better soon x

I met my DH at 34, married him 13 months later and we're now 3 kids and 17 years down the line. Don't despair. Better to get out now than 10 years down the line.

Met my husband when I was 31, he was 33 and divorced, neither of us had children. Married for 34 years, our daughter is 29. You have plenty of time to find a like minded person. Better you found out now that you both wanted different things.

Normally a lurker but feel for you as I was in the same position. I was dumped at 31, I was in dire straits and really felt no one would ever want me. After about a year I began to come to terms with it. Original guy then came back begging forgiveness to reconcile a few months after that. After a few weeks of discussions I realised that he just couldn't change.

Then age 32 and still feeling very bruised and insecure I tentatively joined a dating site. Was fairly discerning and knew I certainly wasn't going to be involved with anyone who wanted to play games or waste my time. Met a few guys and one turned out to be v special. Married at 35 and now trying very hard for children. Unfortunately we haven't had luck with that yet but I am so happily married and feel loved and cherished every single day of my life now. Often think back to how my life could have worked out so differently and I could have been in a very unhappy marriage with the original guy.

Point of my rambles is- keep the faith, take your time, be discerning and you will meet someone lovely like you deserve x

Treat the person as you want to be treated..
Respect them, love them , support them, motivate them…. Especially when they need emotional support (whether by phone or in person) make sure you are present whenever they need you and love them whether they are sad or happy, make them feel how important they are, prioritize them… listen when they talk don't do anything which makes them fell they are not important for you… loyalty can't be compromised.. Dont promise anything you can't keep… be who you are, express your feelings.. Understand others point of view and trust what they says, give space and if possible spend time with their friends group they are more comfortable and happy to be around their friends….
Take it lightly don't change yourself…

I'm late 30s and left my exh 18m ago. No regrets at all, and I have a new dp. We met through work but I was OLD for a bit and met some decent guys, please don't think you're a write off at 32, it's still so young!

I know if you want kids you're aware of not having all the time in the world but you've still got a good few years to meet someone and start a family x

Yeah get rid! I met future hubby at 34, we knew straight away! 4 years later and 2 children - going strong.

I was friends for a few years with my OH but we moved fast after getting together when I was 34. I got pregnant and we moved in together within a year. We have been together 5.5 years now and see very happy

I was 32 when my longterm relationship came to an end. It was the right decision but the thought of finding someone else to build a life with felt overwhelming.

I bit the bullet and went on as many dates as possible, figuring that the more people I met, the more chance I had of finding someone I clicked with. Later that same year, I met the man I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Fortunately he felt the same way - we moved in together when I was 33, were engaged at 35, married at 36 and we had our beautiful daughter when I was 39. A decade on our love is as strong as ever.

Sometimes I can't quite believe my luck, but I think the fact I never gave up believing it was possible helped a lot.

I broke up with my boyfriend when I was 26 and was single until I met my now husband at 34. Married at 36 and had my baby girl at 43. You are soooo young. thirties is the time to settle down so it´s the right time. My sister in law wasted 7 years of her fertility on someone who SAID they wanted kids, stringing her along. She finally left at 40.

Thank you so much everyone for all your support. I just know that I am going to be reading and re-reading this thread many times over the coming months, perhaps years, and it will give me a lift each time reading all your lovely stories. I honestly can't tell you how grateful I am for this community. Thank you

... I like this post! A lot of positivity!

Split with ex at 34. Met someone new at 35. Married at 38. Had baby at 39....

42 now with gorgeous little lad.

You are young. He is setting you free to find the right relationship before it is too late for children. You will be so pleased when you look back and cannot imagine ever thinking you had a future with him. His loss and your gain.

Your future is ahead of you and your deserving life partner (and future offspring) round the corner.

@heartbrokenandafraid...I can totally empathise with your situation.
I was married at 20, separated at 32 and the fear of never finding love again was terrifying not to mention the absolute panic that I'd missed my chance to start a family.

A few unsuccessful (but not terrible) attempts at online dating, a rebound relationship which was doomed from the start (I couldn't see it) and now I have never been happier.
Loved up with a guy I ended up meeting at work and early days of having a baby.

You will get to a happier place.
Let yourself grieve for your breakup. It's natural to be heartbroken, but it does gradually get easier.
Focus on doing things that you enjoy, love yourself and your new future will be fantastic. It just doesn't feel like it now x

One day at a time OP, you will be happy again. So my story begins with my (now)XH, he cheated on me, dumped me, refused to move out, verbally abused me, told me he'd slept with my sister, yada, yada, yada, it was utterly shit, I was 36 and mum of 6 YO DD.

I met my current OH in the pub trying to get away from "the asshole" for a while. We became friends, he was going through similar with his wife, we didn't get together for 8 months, it never even occurred to me to think about it, until one night he lent over and gave me a very chaste kiss on the lips, my heart leapt and we've been together ever since.

Stay strong OP, it gets easier with time.

I don't know anyone who got married or had kids before 30.

Life goes on. You might meet someone and you might not, but life does go on anyway.

I've had a lot of bad times in my life (mh problems, no career, abusive relationships, isolation) but I had a realisation around your age that whatever happens, you just have to keep going.

I've just noticed this is an older thread from May.
I hope you're starting to get stronger now @heartbrokenandafraid x

Me at 31. Kids at 33 & 34. Divorced at 36!

Married to the love of my life now. Such a good man. Met when I was 43.

Met at 36, married at 40, two kids at 41 and 43.

Met OH at the age of 53, moved in together after 9 months, now we have chickens and live in the countryside and foster babies together. The only dark thing on the horizon is the tumour (not sure of it is cancer or not) growing around his bile duct, I waited years for a love like this and now we are facing an uncertain future together.

I was 44 when I met my husband. Met, moved in 3 wks later, married a year later and we have just celebrated 12th wedding anniversary