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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Tell me I’m doing the right thing. Hand hold more than anything

47 replies

roubaixtuesday · 23/05/2020 23:00

Been seeing someone, whom I now realise saw things more casually than me. We had a few nice dates at the start but I wasn’t sure at first.
Then I decided I liked him only for him to get cold feet...
We had a chat and decided to see how things went, ie keep seeing each other. Nearly a year later we still just seemed to be dating, no real substance although when we’re together it’s very nice. He’s also very helpful round the house etc but he’s never shown an interest in meeting my 3 kids.
So, with COVID/lockdown we’ve not been in physical contact since May, but initially texting, calling every day until 2 weeks ago, and things kind of went quiet.
Something made me want to check OLD, so I reactivated my old tinder account and bam. Brand new profile, recent pics (ones he’d sent me during lockdown!) looking for someone new.
I’m so gutted. Ghosted after nearly a year??
I blocked him on everything. Didn’t see the point on calling him out on it. I’m better off without, aren’t I?

OP posts:
Original poster
roubaixtuesday · 23/05/2020 23:01

*since March not May

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright1 · 23/05/2020 23:02

Well done for blocking - new chapter

Igotta · 23/05/2020 23:05

You really are, if he contacts you keep strong Thanks

Original poster
roubaixtuesday · 23/05/2020 23:06

Thank you. I then almost immediately unblocked ... then thought nah, fuck it. I’m not waiting for him to get in touch so I can ignore/deal with it/challenge.
Feeling pretty hurt and very shit though, must admit.

OP posts:
OhioOhioOhio · 23/05/2020 23:07

Yeah. You are doing a great job. Well done.

fuzzymoon · 23/05/2020 23:07

I'm sorry. That's really horrid.
You are definitely better off without him.
Well done for blocking.

NumbsMet · 23/05/2020 23:13

I think a lot of people would wish they could be as forward thinking and decisive as you. No revenge plots, no breaking down. You've totally done the right thing and you have my respect 👏🏻 well done.

Holothane · 23/05/2020 23:13

Well done you’ll be happier with this sort of thing on your mind, not your problem, god help his future partners. 💐💐💐💐

Original poster
roubaixtuesday · 23/05/2020 23:22

Thank you so much!

@NumbsMetxx that’s a lovely thing to say and I really appreciate it x

OP posts:
Dontsayyouloveme · 23/05/2020 23:27

Blocking people like this is totally the right thing to do so congrats OP! It gives you your power back when you do that. I blocked two idiots today and it feels so good... 😍

RandomMess · 23/05/2020 23:29

Well done Thanks

Original poster
roubaixtuesday · 23/05/2020 23:33

😍 yes. Hurts like hell right now to have read that profile... but the right thing.

Any conversation would have been horrible and led to the same ultimate conclusion so why even bother with the stress and pain of that.

Blocking 2 idiots 💪 🥰 well done x

OP posts:
pumpkinbump · 23/05/2020 23:38

I had one like this a few years back, and it waa shit. Well done you for blocking the worm. I wish I had acted like you back then. He's not worth it.

OhioOhioOhio · 23/05/2020 23:42

Yeah NumbsNet has nailed it.

NoMoreDickheads · 23/05/2020 23:53

Well done. xxx You've done the right thing of course- please stay away from him, don't get involved with him again.

bluebell34567 · 24/05/2020 00:10

what kind of a person is that, without saying anything he went on dating sites?
are you sure nothing happened before that, like argument something?
him not showing any interest in meeting your dc was a sign.
well, he did a favor to you so you can meet someone who deserves you.

copperoliver · 24/05/2020 00:19

Better off without him. X

Original poster
roubaixtuesday · 24/05/2020 00:33

Yes, bluebell, the last time we saw each other was March 20th. Lovely sunny day, nice evening, slept together...
Loads of chat in between then and now. But tapered off quite a bit in the last fortnight. 🤷‍♀️
Not sure if knowing why is helpful... so I don’t really want to ask.

OP posts:
WhenPushComesToShove · 24/05/2020 00:38

Excellent work blocking him - the worm does not deserve the chance to wriggle and lie to you. He can FRO!

TheStoic · 24/05/2020 00:58

Any conversation would have been horrible and led to the same ultimate conclusion so why even bother with the stress and pain of that.

That’s EXACTLY right.

Just imagine his confusion when he decides to pick you back up again, and you’re not there! 👏

Original poster
roubaixtuesday · 24/05/2020 01:28

😃 oh I fucking hope so!!! Prick.

OP posts:
JetSetGo · 24/05/2020 02:23

Yes you are better off. Its not your choice. He doesnt want you

Original poster
roubaixtuesday · 24/05/2020 02:40

Well, I don’t want him, so it is my choice; to block and stop contact.
Because he’s an arsehole.
And he may still want me... he just also wants other people.
I just happened to find out and act accordingly.

OP posts:
user1481840227 · 24/05/2020 02:53

What kind of pathetic individual can't even have a conversation with someone after that length of time.
Sad little worm!
Not even worth a second of your time.

His behaviour is only a reflection of him, nothing at all to do with you. He's clearly just a massive loser.

You will find someone better Smile

MeanMrMustardSeed · 24/05/2020 03:00

Great work, OP. Good example to your children too. Never be second choice.

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