Bloody men!

[Endoftethermum1]

Sorry for the sweeping subject heading! Is is just me or do men seem to have such a simple view of the female emotional spectrum?! I swear my OH thinks I only do happy or grumpy seemingly without understanding the in between!
So today has been a hard lockdown day with 3 young kids (Fighting) and bad weather so I wasn’t in a great place when he got home from work. Tonight looking at buying a puppy- been thinking of it for last 6 months but browsing and found an available lovely
Pup so showed him a pic. “We couldn’t get a puppy now”
me “why not?”
Him “because you can barely cope with the 3 kids”
Me 😡😡😡

I wouldn't dream of getting a puppy right now.
And yes, I know that wasn't the actual focus of the OP.

I love my pooch, great companion, sleeps with me, gives great hugs. But! I've had him since a pup, believe me, it's very similar to a child, harder in some aspects - chewing everything, house-training takes all your time.
Probably not the best time to get a pup if home schooling and already under pressure. He has a fair point but has made it very badly.

leave him with them. He will soon catch on how hard it is! Speaking as a dad!

I do think you are mad to get a puppy with 3 kids though

Yes I agree with you my P is a bellend.

But, more importantly, don’t buy a puppy now! Prices have rocketed, likely to be loads looking for new homes before too long.

Happy or grumpy? And he has no concept of the fact that women have a whole range of everything in between?

I don't think he's the only bloke who is like that.

You really don’t want a puppy OP!!!

Another one that agrees that your fella could have worded things better, but thinks the sentiment is right. Trust me, puppies are cute but so much hard work and when you’re already tearing your hair out with kids, the pee/poo on the floor, the chewing, the crying etc might not seem fun.

He should be helping you with the kids, whether he’s been at work all day or not. It’s not a walk in the park having three young kids at home all day. However, if you can share the workload, enjoy the peace for a bit and don’t stretch yourself even further. Wait until the kids get older so they can help with looking after it and not cause you even more stress.

Seriously- he is right! Do NOT bring a puppy into your home. You will shred your relationship and your family.
It’s not right that you can’t find some peace at home right now - and no - you can’t blame your mood swings on the complexity of emotions.

I'd love a dog but i can barely cope with my two kids.
When I mentioned to a friend that I want one, she (drunkenly) reminded me that I find life stressful enough already. I was hurt but she was right.
But...

She's also the same friend who doesn't have to lift a finger at home and once told me she could never do what I do (single parenting)

Puppies are seriously hard work OP...maybe consider a rescue but if you're already stressed, a pup will tip you over the edge.

I’m with your DH

Don’t get a puppy. If you’re struggling with 3 kids in lockdown (understandable) then it’s just like adding a 4th that shits everywhere and barks non stop even at 4am. Why do that to yourself?!

I know, to be honest I’ll probably wait another 18 months til our youngest is school age. I grew up with dogs and would love one, great for getting you out but yes I appreciate the hard work at puppy stage.
I was using this as an example, I’m more annoyed by feeling misunderstood. It is hard at the minute- we’re both doctors me part-time so there’s reason why I’m not always happy but I dont think I’m not coping, it’s just life is hard. I’ve got a family member really poorly in another part of the country and that plays heavily on my mind. I know he’s not a mind reader but I do feel annoyed that my quietness is labelled as moody when it may well be tired or sad or worried.

Babaoreally not sure I follow your comment on “mood swings” ?!

I mean, without knowing the backstory, I don't think he's wrong?

Puppies are a massive amount of work and if they house is already stressed and busy then I think he's being sensible

His attitude sucks.

Can I suggest a book?!

we’re both doctors me part-time so there’s reason why I’m not always happy

Really expect me to believe that you are a doctor? Psssh.

ukgift feel free to search my other posts where I’ve commented on medical things. When you have, I’ll wait for your apology.
If it wasn’t identifiable, I’d give you my GMC number. Muppet

Yes, a puppy would be like a 4th kid. And your children are not going to look after it, trust me.

His comment was out of order.

But I agree with the others: don't get a puppy. I've got a toddler and 2 elderly dogs. If I'm not tripping up on toys, I'm tripping up over them. If I'm not cleaning up my daughter's pee, I'm cleaning up theirs. I don't let my daughter play in our garden because there's smears of poo on the grass, even after clearing it all up. They chew her toys, steal her food, leave fur all over the place, walk dog poo through the house, and when I want to leave the house, not only do I have a child to contend with but I also have 2 eager dogs at my feet wanting a walk. Oh, and then there's the constant barking at the slightest of noises. It's unnecessary chaos.

My friend's dog eats poo, nappies, used tampons and stones. He jumps up at young children and consequently clawed my daughter's soft scalp when she was 10 months old. He's heavy-set and excitable and in my opinion, rather uncontrollable at times due to his size and young age.

Don't do it.

I don't have a partner but do live in a shared house with several men. One of them commented the other day that they thought I was "moody"! I asked why, as as far as I was aware I hadn't been coming across that way. He said because sometimes when he sees me in the kitchen I look sad or bored, and other times I look happy. Yes! Because only a loon looks happy all the time. And yes I do possess the full range of human emotions, which means not always looking ecstatic each time I make a piece of toast. I don't think that men get this sometimes, that there's not just the binary happy/sad but other moods in between.

I do also think that there's also the rather sexist expectation that women are always supposed to be "happy" as it soothes the male ego. See also "Give us a smile love" and "Cheer up, it might never happen" etc.

Really expect me to believe that you are a doctor? Psssh.

Why wouldn't you believe the OP is a doctor?!

Annoying comment from your dh, OP, but definitely a sweeping statement. It's not a universal male trait. Neither do all women have a similar emotional spectrum. I'm by far the most emotionally balanced/neutral in my house and dh knows it!