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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

“Moved things around” to see me - in lockdown???

36 replies

Brunomarsbars · 22/05/2020 08:09

Trying to arrange to speak to my boyfriend on phone is like trying to get an audience with the pope. He lives alone, no kids

He told me the other day he couldn’t speak, then “he’d moved things around” and could fit me in in the evening. He’s not working, and hardly like he had dinner plans in lockdown!

I’m fully aware I’m clearly not a priority to him and will be addressing that but what could he be moving around in lockdown??

OP posts:
PammieDooveOrangeJoof · 22/05/2020 08:11

His wife and kids?

00100001 · 22/05/2020 08:11

Dump him.

Sounds like he's cooled off!

Easier now than ever!

Original poster
Brunomarsbars · 22/05/2020 08:11

Just to add, this incident is far from one off in terms of not being able to speak!

OP posts:
TwentyViginti · 22/05/2020 08:12

What a self-important twat he is.

Original poster
Brunomarsbars · 22/05/2020 08:13

It’s 1000% not a wife and kids - I’ve known him a long time. The self important twat bit on the other hand...

OP posts:
Harrykanesrightsock · 22/05/2020 08:16

Jeez. The arrogance. Dump

SpillTheTeaa · 22/05/2020 08:18

I would say sorry but I can't fit you in any longer because I'm at his level of petty.

rowrowrowyaboat · 22/05/2020 08:21

Hes probs prioritising porn/gaming/netflix before you op. Get rid, you deserve better.

BecomingMe · 22/05/2020 08:21

What do you think he is actually doing?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 22/05/2020 08:23

The sheer arrogance of the man!.

Be a priority, not a mere option here when he is bored. Dump dump and dump, the man is clearly not decent relationship material.

Charles11 · 22/05/2020 08:24

He doesn’t seem to want to talk to you.
You know you’re not a priority to him and how are you addressing this? The only way should be is to say bye permanently

Original poster
Brunomarsbars · 22/05/2020 08:28

I honestly don’t know what he’s doing. To be honest, I suspect it may be a power struggle. I ask at short notice to speak to him and he doesn’t want to seem too available - but if that’s the case it’s pathetic

OP posts:
BecomingMe · 22/05/2020 08:30

How long have you been together?

RantyAnty · 22/05/2020 08:31

Another for dump him.

Chloemol · 22/05/2020 08:32

I would say this is showing his true colours. He’s not as invested in you as you thought. Personally I now wouldn’t be contacting him to see how long it is before he makes a move. Then being petty would say sorry I can’t move things around to talk to you and dump him

airbags · 22/05/2020 08:33

having been in a relationship where the other party used to play silly buggers as a control and power weapon I would say you're better off without him. I've never looked back.

MummyDummyNow · 22/05/2020 08:37

Sorry OP but people in relationships usually want to speak to each other. And if you're not seeing each other due to lockdown he should really want to speak, he should miss you! You deserve better, you receive my first ever LTB.

JudyCoolibar · 22/05/2020 08:41

Trying to be charitable, could he be moving around stuff like planned Zoom chats? Though it's hardly likely that they're back to back.

Ask him what he has to move around and tell us what he says.

AJPTaylor · 22/05/2020 08:53

Wait for him to contact you. It will tell you all you need to know!

Charlieiscool · 22/05/2020 08:56

It’s a type of negging. He wants to keep you on your toes. What on earth are you doing with him?

Bathbedandbeyond · 22/05/2020 08:56

Bin him OP, you deserve more Smile

Dollyrocket · 22/05/2020 08:59

Wow, he sounds like such a catch Hmm

LockdownLoopy · 22/05/2020 09:28

You shouldn't be an inconvenience to your partner. Being "fitted in" for a chat is so sad.

Songsofexperience · 22/05/2020 09:36

Yes, ltb. He's clearly too busy admiring himself in the mirror. Next time he says that, just reply lol and then block him.

ChippyPickledEggs · 22/05/2020 09:36

Personally I'd just get busy doing things that I liked: watching a good box set, reading, organising a Zoom party with friends etc, and start the process of detaching. He's being rude.

See how long it takes for him to come to you. If and when he does you can decide what you want to do. By that point you may not want him so much.