I'm so touch-starved!

[jasminepeony]

I'm guessing a lot of us are in the same boat. Me and partner don't live together but we're only 10 minutes away from each other. We've both been sensible following lockdown guidelines, only meeting up for walks in the park but keeping our distance. I'm just finding it hard now. I have no idea when I'll be allowed to touch him again or just see him on a regular basis, cuddle up to him on the sofa, kiss and sleep with him.

Sometimes I think "should I just risk it? should I just throw my arms round him and kiss him?" but so far I haven't acted on this. I'm hoping I can resist temptation - it would just easier if I knew when exactly I would be able to touch him again. It's been 8 weeks so far and I'm starting to fear it will be another 8 weeks... I'm forgetting what he smells like.

When people say 'move in together' in this situation we/they just mean to go and stay with them for a while .. not move in permanently!

@jasminepeony Join us on this thread, you'll get lots of support from others in the same position

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3907043-new-covid-guidelines-is-everyone-in-a-non-live-in-relationship-still-not-seeing-their-partner

Why not move in together? I don’t mean for good but if you miss each other at this time it would make sense for you to temporarily live together until the lockdown is lifted enough to freely stay over etc as you would normally.

It wouldn’t have to be permanent unless you wanted it to be

Well, that would be a bit unsettling for DCs: mum's partner will be living with us for an unspecified number of months, who knows how long. Don't get too attached! It's just because of nonsensical government rules.

I'm a responsible parent. My dc has been through the horrible break up of their family and now happy and settled. My long term partner and I have made a conscious decision to live separately. The risk is exactly the same whether we sleep under the same roof every night or not. Living together isn't magic protection.

Temporarily moving in together is still a massive thing, especially if children are involved. Honestly, people need to stop throwing that about as an easy solution.

I saw my other half on Friday. It had been 8 weeks since we last saw each other. We're going to see each other once a week from now on. It's too much to ask to keep close family apart completely. Next door had her daughter and grandchildren round in the garden for an hour yesterday. They haven't seen each other in 2 months either. Family need to see each other if they're used to a close relationship.

Moving in, even temporarily, isn't always straightforward. I live alone and have a lot of space - i think if my partner moved in, we'd probably have enough space to get used to being around each other and not drive each other mad. But he needs to work, lives in a different city, and doesn't have a car. So I'd have to move in with him (I can WFH). But he lives in a house share with 3 others, so they'd have to be ok with it, and we dont' know how long this would actually be for, and secondly his room is tiny, and there isn't heaps of space elsewhere in the house. It would be hard for me to work easily...I'd have to sit on the bed all day or something - I can't really colonise the communal space of a house that isn't 'mine'.

I've not seen him since the weekend before lockdown and it's driving me mad. I miss him so much, it literally hurts. I just want to be able to see him for a weekend and have a hug. Well, maybe a bit more than a hug, but honestly a lot of my dreams at the moment are just about being wrapped up in his arms.

Yeah as wishfuldreamer said, moving in temporarily has a bunch of problems.

I would move in with him temporarily but we both have housemates who would not be comfortable with this happening. Both of our flats are rather small and it would be too cramped and inconsiderate of those we live with. Also, I work from home so I'd need my own office space etc and it would just be too stressful working in the same space as him.

Moving in even temporarily isn't an option for me either.
I'm WFH here I can't shift my setup.
His divorce isnt final yet. She doesn't need to know about me yet. (Not OW it's taken 2 years for them to divorce)
It's really not as easy as a lot of people would like to think.

I couldn't "move in temporarily" the havoc it would cause with my universal credit, my tennancy, also above all else my 5 year old! It would be awful and woefully unfair on all parties.

Yes, sorry ! I literally didn't think about it from other peoples POV seeing as I live in a house bigger than my needs and have just one older DC living at home.

My boyfriend can't come and live with me either, but only because he is working and I'm shielding so wasn't worth the risk!

It might sound ridiculous to you, but maybe a weighted blanket would help in the meantime?

It provides a feeling similar to a hug - OK, it's not a person, doesn't smell of them, etc, but it's better than nothing.

I do think when restrictions are removed, there will be a large number of people not going out because they'll be spending all their time indoors...