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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you mention your period beforehand?

31 replies

LayItDown · 16/05/2020 21:42

So... FWB due round tomorrow. I got my period yesterday but on new pill so no idea how long it will last/ how heavy it will be.

We’ve always just gone to each other’s houses and fucked - stayed over, but no dinner, no morning coffee. Nothing.

He’s been texting the past couple of weeks about us going out on dates and then today he suggested we cook dinner together tomorrow. I’ve never ‘dated’ him before (other than our first meeting), so it’s a bit unexpected but actually, I’m kind of excited about having a date.

So now I’m confused. If I knew he was just coming over for sex (which would be on the cards), I’d say not now and postpone. But now I don’t know - do I give him a head up and let him make his mind up? Do I not say anything and just mention it when he’s here? What do I do?

OP posts:
mrsfury · 16/05/2020 21:44

Ermm aren't you on lockdown???

magnarocks · 16/05/2020 21:45

Is he in the same household as you...?

LayItDown · 16/05/2020 21:45

I’m not in UK

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SticksandStonez · 16/05/2020 21:46

I’d just postpone

foreversville · 16/05/2020 21:46

I'd probably mention it, as a courtesy.

bigchris · 16/05/2020 21:49

I'd go for it !!

LayItDown · 16/05/2020 21:50

I’m thinking wait until the morning, judge how heavy it is and if it’s noticeable, leave the ball in his court.

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Littleshortcake · 16/05/2020 21:50

Erm.... I probably would but it does seem to be changing (the dynamics of the 'relationship' if he is now looking for dates)
By tomorrow it would be light I would imagine

LayItDown · 16/05/2020 21:51

I don’t know how he feels about period sex as this is the first time it’s occurred in any of our meetings anyway - but I’m pretty sure he’s pushing things into ‘date’ territory and it’s completely thrown me.

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LayItDown · 16/05/2020 21:55

I’m hoping it will be light tomorrow, but I really don’t know with this pill! It’s supposed to make my periods lighter but they’ve been all over the place while I adjust - assuming it’s working for me as intended!

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NoMoreDickheads · 16/05/2020 21:59

You could ask him. If someone didn't want to see me because I had my period, I would be annoyed TBH, whether or not it meant sex was off the cards.

BumbleBeee69 · 16/05/2020 22:03

you've done everything else.. so tell him... Flowers

serenada · 16/05/2020 22:05

Who said Romance is dead? {grin]

Sigh.

LayItDown · 16/05/2020 22:13

Ugh, it’s all so confusing! If I was going on a date with someone I was actually dating I wouldn’t say a think.

If I was just seeing my FWB for a normal hookup, I’d say and postpone.

Now I’m somewhere in the middle and not sure which route to go down. I think you are right to give him a heads up and then he can decide, which takes the pressure off me.

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LayItDown · 16/05/2020 22:13

thing*

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PersephoneandHades · 16/05/2020 22:14

I’d say you’re up for meeting but that you’ve started your period so does he want to postpone?

Not because there is anything wrong with period sex, but just so that you know how he’ll react as some guys can be dicks about it

illclapwheniminpressed · 16/05/2020 22:16

Who wants to have period sex for the first time? Grin because isn't having a fwb mean you have wilder sex?...

If you don't mean op which is the main thing, then just tell him.
You can't be uncomfortable with speaking freely when your having sex with him

NoHardSell · 16/05/2020 22:17

No morning coffee is barbaric

I'd say, in a just so you know way. I'd also never cancel a fwb meet because of it - that rules out 1/4 of the month!

For future, you could try sponges or a cup if you want less messy period sex. TheyI work quite well

Samtsirch · 16/05/2020 22:19

I would mention it beforehand.
But how he responded would tell me a lot about whether I wanted to continue spending time with him.

Oopsiedaisyy · 16/05/2020 23:23

There's other things you can do while you're on your period...

Opentooffers · 16/05/2020 23:45

He's asked for a date, so I think you are at a turning point, you need to decide if you would be happy with more than fwb. If you tell him beforehand and he cancels the date, then you know he's just messing with your head and not into anything other than fwb, as no genuine person would turn down a date, because of your period.
Decide if you want more or not, then find out if he does.

ThirtyAndASmidgen · 17/05/2020 00:14

I think it’s better to be upfront about it, but I’ve never had a man NOT cancel when I’ve said this. Not great for the self-esteem.

ViciousJackdaw · 17/05/2020 01:02

There's other things you can do while you're on your period...

Indeed there are and I suspect your man would be delighted with a bj.

NoHardSell · 17/05/2020 09:49

There's also no way I'd be doing a one way only orgasm meet so bj maybe but what's his reciprocal action that makes it worth it for me? Plenty of options.

I remembered the name of the sponges - beppy sponges. The cups are ziggy and flex. I've used flex. Zero blood, but it takes a few goes to get the fit right.

LayItDown · 17/05/2020 11:52

Yeah, I’ve decided to cancel as I’m not really in the mood today.

I’m going to look into those sponges though. They sound brilliant. Can the man tell?

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