DP loves everyone but me

[MotherofanangelAlfiesmum2018]

Hi everyone, I’ve been finding it extremely difficult through the lockdown, because me and my partner have had to spend more time together and he is financially stressed he is taking it all out on me, his family and daughter can do no wrong and he’s so happy when he’s talking to them, with me he just can’t be bothered and he has been so nasty for 8 weeks now I feel like I can’t do anything right, today he had a go at me because the Hoover was unplugged so I said well you must not of plugged it back in because I haven’t touched it he then went on to say well you clearly have I wish you would just fuck of back to your mums I then took myself Of into the bedroom and have been here ever since and he dosent care, all he cares about is his family that he misses and I’m being taken for granted in all of this, I’m not a shit partner I cook his tea every night and i never ever be nasty to him like he is with me but I seem to get all the shit, I’m sick of feeling like a disappointment it was that bad this afternoon I even googled how to kill myself quickly without any pain.... I can’t do right for doing wrong.. I’ve been trying to set a new business up with nails as I haven’t worked in years due to mental health and loosing my son in 2018 and my grandad in 2019, I want to better myself for our future and so I told him about this new business idea yesterday and he was happy but today it’s just back to normal and I feel like the littlest person in the world right now , I even question will he even miss me if I did take my own life probably not I don’t know... I’m sorry for ranting I just needed a safe place to let it all out I feel so alone

And every time I go into my little shell and ignore him and make it clear I’m unhappy he try’s to be nice to me, but when I’m ok and happy and cracking on in the house doing whatever that’s when he seems to be a dick but when he’s knows I’m on the edge he’s nice what the hell is that about!

I'm to make a lively new life for you and your ds, without this abusive wanker

Leave the bastard - what joy does he bring?

I was depressed at Christmas missing my son and my grandad and he was doing everything and anything to cheer me up and every since he said right we aren’t trying for a baby anymore I thought right that’s it I will better myself I quit smoking and I’m 8 weeks without a cig I have never took it out on him while I have been quitting and I have been trying to be more happy but it had seemed to have the opposite effect I’m so confused it’s like he wants me to be sad and down at the fact he dosent want to try for another baby, it’s all mind games I know and I know I should take your advice and leave

I’m not really sure what joy he’s bringing me these days not much that is for sure :( he just wants to punish me for what happened at the hospital

And me not being a mummy again is the biggest punishment he can bring to the table and he knows that :(

Thank you everyone I have my head stuck in my tablet researching about nails I have ordered all the kit to start practising so can bury my head into that this week when it all arrives :)

You are only 27. Yet you seem to be staying with him because you think he’s your last chance to have a baby.

You probably have another 10 or 15 YEARS to meet a good decent mind man and have a family with him. Or you could go it alone - lots of women Do. It’s much better than staying with an abusive loser.

You can be a mummy I again. I promise. I'm so sorry you lost your baby. That pain is the worst but please get out. Meet someone else or do it on your own. Don't let him be the father of your children. You are setting yourself up for misery tying yourself to him for a lifetime. Please you are young and can start again. You can do it. If you can survive losing your baby, then you can definitely survive this. You are so stronger than you know. You were born to be a mummy. Don't give him your precious gift of a baby. Find someone won't abuse you please. You don't need to do this.

Please leave this man. I don't mean to sound insensitive, I'm so sorry for your loss, but if you did have another baby with him what if he treats your child the same way he treats you at the moment? That's no life and a child can't just walk away, you have a choice here. You are strong and you can do this, you deserve to find someone better. Go back to your Mums!

I’m 27 and he is 34 by the way just to give you an insight we are engaged but not married and have been together 5 years

Don't do this to yourself.

If you get pregnant, his abuse and control will actually become worse and you will be tied to him until your child is 18 and beyond. Jesus, don't do this. You are so young and could do so much better than this squiffy offering. But you won't do better unless you leave.

Leaving him is an option. You don't have to stay and take this.

Please tell us that along with the nails enterprise you are making plans to leave or to remove him? He sounds an absolute bastard.

Please leave this horrible person. Go back to your mum, and slowly find yourself again. You will look back and be so glad you did. He won't improve, he really wont. He's awful and it would be cruel to give a child a father like that. Take care.

Please leave. He is not worth a second more of your life.

You are in an appallingly abusive relationship OP.

Why would you want to bring a child into such an unhappy, highly abusive environment.

Why would you do that to a child.

Get out.
Get help.

Leave him. Look at this objectively. If this was your friend, what would you tell her to do. You deserve so much better, and you can have it, but I don’t believe this man will mend his ways.

Just wanted to update you all that I have packed my bags and gone back to my mums, he’s a bastard that’s for sure

Well done. That is so, incredibly hard to do when they are right inside your head like he is, but you've done it. That's strength. 💐💐

Just on the practicalities:
Was the house a rented house or owned? Any joint assets? Joint bank accounts, loans or any debt you cosigned for? You haven't left any treasured possessions behind?

Good!

And don't forget to change the delivery address on your nails stuff.

Enjoy your new life

All my nail stuff has been ordered and is coming to his house but he will drop it Of probably, I’ve just had enough of being put down I could t do anything right and he said he didn’t want to put effort in to sort the relationship so that gave me the push to pack and go , he’s manipulative and will try to get back with me in a few months time, but that was the last time he steps all over me :) Thankyou it does take strength and it will be hard tonite and it will hard for a while but I will be with my family who live at my mums so a lot of support and my mums got a bottle of wine for me so all is good 💐💐💐

Also no joint bank accounts and the house he rents out so no issues there 💐💐

You have been so badly abused on top of the trauma you have already experienced. It’s shocking to read.

Well done on leaving. Your future babies deserve a decent father - not this thug. I hope that you can find peace and comfort to build yourself back up. You might have wobbly days but you must not go back to him - you need to think of coping strategies to resist urges to go back and expect him to promise you the moon on a stick - please block, delete and get your family to soothe you.

If you block, delete, fill your life with radiant people and focus on developing yourself - and turn your back on him 100% you will be in a much stronger place in 6 months time - looking forward to an exciting new chapter in your life.

Well done, OP, I am very happy to hear you have left. Have you left him before, or will this have come as a shock to him?

If you feel yourself wobbling, just read back the messages you've had on this thread. You deserve so much better than this abusive fucker.

MotherofanangelAlfiesmum2018

That is absolutely brilliant.
My goodness it is so wonderful to see a woman getting out before she gets really tied down to one of these guys.

Well done. 💐💐💐