How to keep busy when relationship ended?

[Snappychat]

I have just finished with my partner after four years together, I’m absolutely devastated, even if it was the right thing to do. We did a lot together, walking, biking, sit in garden, chill in evenings, etc and now nothing. He’s gone back to his own house and I am here on my own with my 20yo son, he is lovely company, but not someone I can talk to about how I am feeling/struggling for obvious reasons.

Due to lockdown and working from home for the last few weeks my house doesn’t need anything doing to it except keeping on top of, which takes about an hour a day, I walk an hour a day, I cook for me and son in the evening, he sorts himself rest of time, and the garden I am on top of.

I have friends I can phone, that helps.

Today I need to take all our photos down, and there’s many, so that’s going to be hard.

I just want to know what people’s distraction tactics are, to stop you constantly thinking about your ex OH, what you’ve lost, your future plans all gone, crying, moping, not sleeping, not eating. Just feeling shit 24/7 :(

Download strava and start running.

You will become addicted and it’s really good for you.

Exercise is the key, physically exhaust yourself each day and the endorphins will kick in - difficult with a toddler I know but follow some online classes? Don't dwell on each photo, just be businesslike with them as you pack them away. Is there a challenge you can set yourself with some online learning perhaps - another language? Plan each day into bite-sized chunks and pat yourself on the back when you go to bed. Sounds as though you're doing really well already and I'm sorry it didn't work out. Good luck 👏👏👏

@ItchyScratch I have my Apple Watch so do that and the exercise is therapeutic, though even with my music on I’m just constantly going over things in my head, I need to try and train myself not to.

@lifestooshort Son is 20 :) good idea about the photos yes I’ll try that. I can’t seem to motivate myself to do anything like learning at the moment, it’s a nice day so I’ll try and sit in the garden and read.
Thanks

I exercised every day for a month.
I went back to counselling.
I went completely no contact, I deleted and blocked him and his family on every platform imaginable.
I read an awful lot of books on codependency, boundaries.
I meditated every day.
I cleaned.

It’ll get better. Hugs to you.

I’ve no longer got my mum, I lost my brother last year, he was only in his 40s, my best friend died in March, she was Only 50, now this, I feel the world is against me and whilst I try and not feel sorry for myself, I’m usually very positive, even after all the shit that I’ve gone through, I can only take so much.

@buddha, I’ve removed myself from SM, I’m exercising too. I’ll look those type of books up, good tip thank you and thank you for the hugs x

Hi, we're moving this thread over to our Relationships topic at the OP's request.

Sorry you're going through a tough time, OP.