Years ago when I was pregnant with our second child my husband went for a night out. He got back home after 5am and said he'd gone to a party with a male school friend he'd bumped into. A few months later after a night out I found a condom in his pocket when I put his trousers in the wash. He said he'd put it there on a whim with no intention of using it. Obviously I was furious and suspicious and asked him about this and the previous late night. I got nowhere. A couple of years later this was all still bugging me but we were in a good place and we were having a heart to heart so asked him about it and he admitted that the late night was because he had gone home with a woman he met in the night club but they had just talked. This then made me question a night out he'd had not long after the first when he got home at a decent time but said the friend he'd gone with had left early and he'd just stayed by himself and chatted to people. My suspicion is that the first night wasn't that innocent and that he actually met the woman again rather than his friend but said he'd left early just in case he never mentioned it. He has hardly seen this friend who was practically his best friend since and I do wonder whether it's because he's been afraid he'll say something and give him away. This did happen several years ago but it still bugs me. I might not have questioned the nights out if I hadn't found the condom (my hunch is that he thought well I was lucky before, I might be again). He also proved that he would lie convincingly by saying he'd been to a party, which did fob me off for a while. Every so often this time pops back into my head and I get obsessed with thinking about it and anxious that he has cheated and not told me. I just don't know how to get over the fact that despite our marriage being really strong and happy now, he has probably cheated in the past and doesn't have the courage to own up. I also wonder sometimes about sending the woman he went home with a message to ask her what happened. He told me her name and one of her interests and amazingly this was all google needed to find her! Would that be a paranoid crazy thing to do?
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Relationships
Can't get suspected infidelity out of my mind
MDG2000 · 15/05/2020 07:57
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