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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Cheating partner?

32 replies

Jordimum · 15/05/2020 00:53

Would you believe a stranger is they told you your partner was cheating?

If they gave you messages that matched when you were out, his number and picture etc.

If your partner is adamant that he hasn’t cheated and says it’s a load of rubbish and a jealous ex?

OP posts:
TheTickingTime · 15/05/2020 00:59

Yeah I would believe a total stranger if they showed me concrete evidence

Ilovecats14 · 15/05/2020 01:17

Your partners a cheat. You have your evidence. It's not nice but don't let him take you for a mug. Don't try to come up with a 'logical' explanation for his bullshit you'll just make yourself look dumb. I'm sorry he has done this to you.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 15/05/2020 01:44

In your thread from Wednesday multiple people have explained to you that the way to find out for sure is to get back in touch with the man who contacted you, or his partner, and ask for details about how they know for certain your partner was involved.

If your partner is totally innocent, and he is being victimised by an Ex, I can't for the life of me see any reason why he'd object to you doing this. Surely he wants to get to the bottom of it himself?

In his shoes, I'd be contacting the man/"OW" myself to try and put this to rest, not just settling for giving you my version of events then attempting to have you drop it.

Mintlegs · 15/05/2020 06:23

What is your gut telling you?

heartyrebel · 15/05/2020 07:43

Believe the stranger

Doowop20 · 15/05/2020 07:44

I thought the woman confirmed it.

SpillTheTeaa · 15/05/2020 07:45

Seems pretty concrete evidence to me. So, no I wouldn't believe him.

BlackAndWhiteCat01 · 15/05/2020 07:47

Having seen your last thread, absolutely, I don’t know why you’re even questioning the screenshots

Original poster
Jordimum · 15/05/2020 08:33

He is literally denying everything and looks believable. I just think if you get caught out with evidence surely you’d give in and try and work it out?

OP posts:
Doowop20 · 15/05/2020 08:40

Which bit looks believable because on your other thread you said you had screenshots and you have been speaking to the other woman who told you all the details?

Motherlandismylife · 15/05/2020 08:46

This reply has been deleted

The OP has now deregistered, as they have privacy concerns. We have agreed to take this down at their request.

Ilovecats14 · 15/05/2020 09:15

I know this guy who cheated on his partner through both pregnancies. She got told by the other woman, and demanded evidence to which she received screen shots. Her partner still denied it and has done for 6 bloody years. He even text the other woman telling her to take it back and to lie, she forwarded this over to the gf who still said 'not enough evidence'. She couldn't bare life without him so ignored it. He 100% cheated and lied but my friend is still with him. I feel sorry for her she has really low self esteem. He's an utter dickhead she found him texting other woman again just last week, but she allows it so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mama05 · 15/05/2020 09:18

What more evidence do you need? To catch him with her?

The writing is on the wall.

MarshmallowsOnToast · 15/05/2020 09:19

Has the other thread been deleted?

saffy1234 · 15/05/2020 09:22

Is this the same OP as the poster who got a knock on the door and now has the emails or the poster who's husband was sleeping with the neighbour

Original poster
Jordimum · 15/05/2020 11:31

Hey, I think you’re confusing me with another poster? I haven’t spoken to the OW, I have spoken to her partner.

I know I’ve got the evidence but he’s literally denying it and swearing on his kids lives etc. And I just think, surely if you’ve been caught you will say?

OP posts:
Ilovecats14 · 15/05/2020 12:04

My friends partner did the same, swore on kids lives. He was still lieing.

Ilovecats14 · 15/05/2020 12:06

The other woman's partner would not contact you if it was not true. You have issues and need to work on yourself.

Techway · 15/05/2020 12:09

@Jordimum, once he started lying he has to continue. He will be putting in extra effort since you are some what convinced.

Plausible denyability..but cheaters are excellent liars.

Skyla2005 · 15/05/2020 12:21

Yes I would believe them

workshy44 · 15/05/2020 12:24

Fair enough if you want to stay with him even after you know he is a cheat , but don't be so dumb to believe such obvious lies
You are making a total and utter fool of yourself and if you believe him on this he will think you will believe ANYTHING and will continue to cheat and lie as he knows he can and you will swallow anything

GilbertMarkham · 15/05/2020 12:55

What is the evidence?

There are some people who, caught with their dick inside another woman's vagina, would still deny they were having sex a d tell their partner that they'd not seen what they saw, and were mistaken, and were crazy etc etc. It's just the way they are. They'd lie black is white, they can't admit what they are or admit they're wrong.

Even if the partner ended the relationship, they'd still never admit it, would tell them they'd never done it and they were wrong. (And if course tell others the same).

Before they're dumped they usually have quite a lot of lose - money, security, family home, reputation, family relationships (kids and with wider family - they'll be affected), image etc. Lots of hassle and loss and shit they'd rather not deal with (or if they do, they rather deal with it if and when they want to, are ready to and it suits them).

GilbertMarkham · 15/05/2020 12:58

Apparently the swearing on.peoplrd lives thing is common (and unreliable) too.

You see normal people would be terrified something would happen in some karma/spiritual way of they did that .. people like them, who often have personality disorders, are not .. it's just a tool to get what they want and they have no conscience or fear.

cheeseislife8 · 15/05/2020 13:05

Based on this and your other threads on this, yes I would

cheeseislife8 · 15/05/2020 13:05

Based on this and your other threads on this, yes I would