Bit of a rant as to why abusive men get to see their children?

[Fightingback16]

I’m just needing to have a rant. I’ve spoken to a few people lately about my abusive husband and him having contact with dd. I even to an extent had the same conversation yesterday with my lawyer who I know only speaks from experience not her opinion.

Why do fathers have a right to see their children when they have abused there children’s mother. The emotional attachment they need with mummy is invaluable. If they can do it all in front of their children and not just when they aren’t around then how will they be good fathers. As people have told me, yes I did chose to have a child with him (chose is not really the right word, more like tricked/forced)

I’m a bit different because my husband has put my daughters life in danger so he isn’t allowed contact until it goes through the court.

But are there mums out there who have to hand over their children to their dads each week? Do they end up changing and being ok fathers?

[Fightingback16]

Neither can dd.

[Fightingback16]

I’m terrified I’m going to get in trouble for parental alienation. But I don’t know what else to do. Seeing my dd in an ambulance killed me. But then I know that he is the father she has unfortunately.

[Fightingback16]

I have a msg where he says you need to come and get “your” fucking daughter now. When I get there he’s waiting at the door with her. He says I don’t want her for the rest of the day, she has wound me up and I’ve let loose and shouted at her bad and now I feel bad. I have msgs where he says he won’t help me with her disciplining etc. He wants every day to be amazing, she can have what she wants, he won’t do docs appointment etc. He doesn’t do hair or teeth because she doesn’t like it. Until she doesn’t act cute and answers back, then he doesn’t want her.

[HollysBush]

Oh darling. What a horrific time you’ve had. Don’t ever feel bad about separating from him. I know what you mean about him changing her (the spitting and the comments about dirty refuse collectors etc would really upset me too). She won’t stay a perfect innocent baby for ever, but you sound a lovely intelligent mum and have your daughters best interests at heart, you have and will continue to protect to your best ability. She is a lucky girl to have you!
He has MUCH less time with her now. So he hasn’t applied for access yet is that correct? And he hasn’t seen her for how long?

[Fightingback16]

Sorry I’m filling my own thread, @Vretz that’s really unfair what they have said about it sounding bad but probably not as bad as it was. My husband only pushed me once, then spent 11 years beating my mind. I had a breakdown and now suffering with c-ptsd. He is an awful human being, he doesn’t have a clue what he has done. He had destroyed my brain. I’m trying to move on with very few memories, I don’t remember my dd birth, her first steps. I’ve been told to create new memories because my brain shut down and was in survival mode so they are gone. So now the courts want me to fill my new memories around abuse also as he WILL continue through dd. If he did that to me what effect will it have on dd.

[Fightingback16]

@HollysBush no he hasn’t applied and I stopped mod Dec.

[Fightingback16]

I guess the courts would prefer 2 faulty parents then one strong and healthy one. He will remain a narcissistic twat and I’ll be a nervous wreck as a mother....great!

[aliceinsunderland27]

Because too many people prioritise the rights of the parents (however badly they've behaved) over the safety and well-being of the children involved.