That really must be taking it's toll on you. It's clearly something he does to signal to you that you don't matter. The way he is regarding your family chats is abusive. He may not see it that way, and I bet if you have ever called him out on his behaviour, he's classic reply is you can't take a joke, or your family is this that or the other.
He us emotionally abusive when you pull away and request things change, specially if you claim the relationship is over, the crying and pleading is a classic abuser move.
Mocking your work hours is horrible, my ex use to do that and tell me I didn't deserve to eat because I only worked part time. So I understand. Of course he wants you to believe you are crazy, otherwise he will have to face it that he is abusive and take accountability, but he will never do that.
He may do this for a while, and you may even get use to the abuse, and you will possibly normalise his awful behaviour, I know I did. Until he escilated the abuse, and your partner may do that too, they don't just stop with words only.
I hope you find the strength to put yourself and your kids first, whatever he will say, and plead, and threaten to do, it's all part of keeping himself in the comforts he has now. So if you decide this is it, then you got to be stronger than you have ever been before. You have been strong before, you can be strong enough again.