Is this a cause for concern?

[Potatochipz]

NC for this.
In a recent conversation with a guy I'm "seeing", the topic of sex toys came up.

His comment was along the lines of why I may purchase one if I had him. My response was that it's a perfectly normal thing to have/do whether in a relationship or not. He got defensive, saying I'd have something to say if he was sticking it in any randomers hole. I explained that it was not comparable as a sex you doesn't involve someone else and anyone would have a problem if they were in a relationship with him whilst he was sticking it about. He started going on saying I'm preaching about women's rights etc.

Am I right in thinking that this is a perfectly normal/acceptable thing? The way he spoke to me made me feel like it was a disgusting thing to do. Or like he was insecure about the possibility of me using one. What was a jokey comment from me has now turned into this.

Please can I have your opinions?

I've known him a fair while.

I was having a joke with him about me searching for something online and instead of it bringing up the intended item it bought up a sex toy. I was just laughing about it and said I wouldn't buy one off that selling site if I was to get one, I'd make sure it was from a proper place that sells those things.

Then he started getting aggressive in his tone saying about me rather using something like that than him. I just pointed out it's nothing to do with him, people are allowed to it they choose in their own private time. He made it clear that he wouldn't accept someone he was in a relationship doing that and that he wants someone who wouldn't do that sort of thing while in a relationship with him.

I made it clear it wasn't anything to do with me saying i was doing that myself, and that I rarely would in a relationship unless I felt the need. It's the fact he tried to take the choice away.

He's now made me feel bad for "choosing" masturbation over continuing a relationship with him.

I think he knows exactly what he's playing at. He knows he's insecure but does not give him the right to control people.

@mindutopia he says not. He strikes me as the sort of person who tries to have sex whenever he wants it.

He claimed he also would not engage in masturbation while in a relationship which I think is highly unlikely or very very odd.

Yes, I don't believe him, that's just something to tell you to try and control what you do.

He's now made me feel bad for "choosing" masturbation over continuing a relationship with him

That's a really bad way of twisting round what you've said.

He was also trying to shame you. And to make it seem as if you are beneath him in some way for having desires. If the relationship continued you would have been expected to prove you were whiter than the driven snow, on an ongoing basis.

Guarantee he would shoot you down if you ever asked him to be more attentive to your desires in the bedroom too.

I think 'insecurity' is usually just a mask for control tbh.

I'd be telling him:

'I'd rather have a wank, than be with one'

;)

Hope you've blocked the weirdo.

What's he like otherwise? Just say yes darling.... The excitement of buffing Yr muffwhen he's not around and when he dissaproves....