New boyfriend doesn't like to talk!!! About anything!!

[FirstTimer861]

Hey, just after some advice..
I have been dating a guy for about 6 months. Pre lockdown we were always doing things, he is a very generous guy always pays when we are together, we had booked 2 holidays together (didn't end up happening because of corona) all in all we have a blast and he's lovely.

Now... we are obviously in lockdown. We haven't quarantined together just because he wanted his base to be closer to his mum incase she needed him. (Don't all yell at once) We have however seen each other on 2 occasions. He has come to mine and spent the weekend.

Now, pre lockdown... I thought I was falling in love with this guy.
During lockdown. And the fact that the weekends we do spend together are in the house chilling and watching TV. I have no idea what I am doing in a relationship with this guy!

Doesn't really like to talk. Which I knew, but when our attention was taken by other things it wasn't a problem. Now I find myself talking all sorts of crap just to fill the time, and after a day together I'm wishing he would leave!
It's so boring!! He's so boring!!
I like to talk shit, but I like to have contribution from the other party. He doesn't ask questions, not even really sure if he's interested tbh!

On the rare occasion he did share something, it's good and we have a conversation and I ask questions and try and stretch the topic out as much as I can... but then he'll clam up and say he's just not a talker. Not even about feelings or anything heavy. Just chit chat!

I guess my question is to those that are in a relationship with 'non talkers' does it change? Will it get better?
And do I just dump him? Or should I wait for 'normal' life to be resumed before taking such a massive step considering pre lockdown I actually saw a future with this guy?

Oh wow.. that was a long one! If you made it this far then thanks!

I am fascinated as to how you didn't realise before?

Didn't you notice when you ate out, or walked along, or well, anything really?

I couldn't be with someone like that. My relationship with my dh is very much based on communication, joking, chatting, teasing each other/banter, bickering and sometimes arguing. If we lost the different forms of community then we'd have nothing as it's the thing that keeps our relationship loving/passionate/fiery/understanding etc etc.

My BIL is the opposite and doesn't communicate with his fiancée at all other than very superficial conversations, and it really gets to her. There is no spark between them and he never confides in her or talk in depth about anything. She has no idea what goes on in his head. I'm not saying your guy is like this but if you're questioning how interesting he is now then it's unlikely to get better.

One thing to watch for, OP - if you go for a walk, does he walk alongside you, take your hand and just seem to drink in the walk experience? Or does he do what my XP used to do, stride on five yards ahead, occasionally addressing remarks to you that you can't hear, so you are perpetually trotting along in his wake saying 'what? Sorry? Pardon?' every five minutes?

One is fine. The other is not.

I obviously don't mean 'community' in my response above. COMMUNICATION is what I meant 🙄

No, sorry. I’m the non-talker. I only speak if I have something to say and am happy with quiet. I’d hate a BF who had to fill up all the gaps with endless chit chat. Luckily I seem to have found one like me. I didn’t realise until we went to the beach one weekend (pre Corona) and we had 3 short chats during the 2hr drive there and listened to music on the way back! We talked whilst there and both thoroughly enjoyed our day out. It wasn’t uncomfortable silence of having nothing to say but the peaceful quiet of 2 people enjoying the scenery and each other’s company!

I can see that a talker would find me SO boring though as I enjoy the silence!

@Chamomileteaplease.. I know it's sounds so silly, but because it's a fairly new relationship we were always doing things. Going places, nights out etc. So we were either around others or there was always some kind of distraction.

This spending time in the house for a weekend with just each other and without any distractions is what made me realise we are very different on the communication front.

Let's see what the future holds!