What the fuck is this?? Does anyone have gmail and know anything about

[Helpmesolvethisahh]

Photo attached

My and my husband going through a tough time due to trust issues. I look through his iPad I’m not even going to deny it. I see this... clicked on the link and apparently it’s the “best dating site” according to google

What is google ads? Could it be an ad he has accidentally clicked on? Or would he have to type this in to the search?

@Literarytype

Ive had a look this morning. It’s turned off, if I turn it on will he get a notification on his phone?

In the past I have really tried to get move on and get over my paranoia (which started when he was lying to me about the webcam sites). I know you don’t stay together because of kids, but I feel there are some couples that don’t try hard enough when there are kids involved, my brother being one. I have wanted to try my best for years and I’m finally done with it all.

Don’t call it paranoia. Paranoia by definition is exaggerated and unjustified. It seems like the anxiety you’re feeling about his behaviour is, and has been for three years, entirely justified. :(

It’s good you feel stronger now. Make plans to get away from him 💐

It's not paranoia. Who told you it was? Don't ignore your spidey senses because they're there for a reason.
The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.
You're making excuses to yourself if you think you need to 'find proof'. He broke your relationship when he used the webcam. It's not fixed. It won't be fixed - not for you anyway. You can either split or learn to live with it. If you choose the second one, make sure you have a backup plan and a store of money for when he decides to cheat again.

It doesn’t look spammy to me at all. It shows he’s been on that website, that’s all you need to know isn’t it!
He’s clearly got issues.

What an absolute loser. You need to speak to him op, stop looking for evidence he can’t talk his way out of. You know what he’s like.

I’ve never thought of it as anxiety, I’ve always just thought of myself as paranoid.

I’m finding myself getting more and more angry towards him and I’m not able to stop it. His drinking doesn’t help, he drinks every 2/3 nights and was up till 3am this morning.

While I’m getting things off my chest il mention one more thing. 18 months ago he visited a city 2 hours away to get his “phone fixed” (nearest apple shop) and when he got home I just knew something wasn’t right. I checked his calls and he had called a strange number, I googled it and it was a thai woman offering “massage services”. There was also £90 withdrawn. I confronted him and he said he called to go but he said he only thought it was for a massage and he never went anyways, yet he couldn’t find the money he withdrew.

I know people are going to read that and think... what the fuck am I doing with him?? Please don’t judge me

This man neither loves nor respects you.

I'm not judging you, lovely. I'm trying to give you the benefit of my own experience. I wasted 10 precious years of my life on a cheater and I hope you don't do the same thing. The trouble is that until you're ready to accept that this is who he is and he won't change, whatever anyone else says won't really matter. What's keeping you with him(aside from lockdown obviously).

He is doing this and doesn’t care that you know. He knows you check his iPad so he deleted the evidence and somehow justifies it to himself. Do you have your finances sorted?

I’m trying my best to stay because of the fact we have children. I’m also very close to his father who has terminal cancer, and I’m worried I’m not able to help him when he gets worse if we split.

No my finances aren’t great. I’m not in any debt but I only work part time and take home around £700 a month, i pay for some household bills so it’s lucky if I’m left with £200 after them. My husband is paid around £50,000 per year so not on a bad wage. We have a lot of equity in the house as it’s a self build.

I use google to sign up to people (like MumsNet) who I don't trust with my real email address. I get ads like this all the time. Never once used a dating site or even googled one, so the ads are not related to anything the user does.

Why not find out what your finances might be if you split? He's not a good role model for your children. Good fathers don't do what he's done.

So many people on here, say that they snoop on a partners phone. Its such a dreadful thing to do, and is a weird way to live.

Yeah because paying for sex with someone else or paying to watch it or having a "massage" behind your partner's back isn't a dreadful abs weird way to live?! WTF are you going on about. Focus on the real issue here and it's not looking at this loser's phone.

No-one is judging you OP but you have to put yourself first, not even his ill father. You've got children and yourself to think of. I'm sorry you're going through this, it's no way to live.

Did you post about the Thai massage thing before? I vaguely remember something similar? Anyways that's an awful long time, 3 years, living and feeling like this.

Try op, please try and leave, it will be so hard but so worth it.

I just turned mine off (paused) and checked email. Nothing. Turned it back on and still no email so it doesn't look like he will be alerted. Sounds like he feigns innocence so you could too. X

The no snoopers brigade make me laugh.. Don't snoop on your lying cheating prick of a husband? Or you'll ruin what exactly?🙄

OP there is a really good book called ‘too good to leave to bad to stay’ I really recommend you read it

I’m going to look into my finances and see what is what. I won’t have to worry about my husband wanting the kids a lot, he works away most of time and he doesn’t even know how to brush their hair so he’s not the most hands on.

Yes I probably did post about the Thai massage before, I change names if I ever post as I’m scared someone catches me out.. that must be my paranoia/anxiety!

I have switched on his activity so will check tonight and see if there is anything. I’m not ready for the confrontation if there is anything, but I know I need to do it

It is spam. I get stuff from match.com and so can honestly say I have never been on a dating site or app in my life.

However if you are worried enough to be checking anyway I think there are already trust issues and you won't want to believe that it's random anyway.

Looks like spam but everything else you have said is really awful. Also, why is he deleting his internet history every day? Not normal behaviour.

I've just checked my Gmail spam box (last cleared a few days ago), and apparently Debby, Amanda, Veronica, Kirsty and Lily are desperate to meet me. Also, Rose wants to know if we're meeting tonight. I'm not registered with any hookup sites - it's just spam.

There's no point confronting him anyway as if had been up to no good he'd deny it anyway (Thai massage?!).

Definitely time to leave.

To see recent history, click on Google on apps, then click the three dots down the bottom right. Open "recent".
It will show history even if browsing history has been deleted.

I get spam ads in my Gmail for all sorts that I've definitely not been looking at. Penis enlargement springs to mind. I'm female, so not even slightly targeted at me.

But that's beside the point, you don't trust your husband. But you should trust your own instincts.
Sorry you're going through such difficult times, sounds like it's been putting a strain on you for years.

One last thing, I regularly delete my history. I've got nothing to hide it's just something I've always done.

The visiting a sex worker think is quite recent at 18 months. When you're ready to leave I would just tell him you can't get over the various things, which is completely understandable- stuff when you were pregnant, jut had a baby etc.

Probably you will find something else sooner or later, though.