Please help me

[Littlekitty115]

Feeling like ending it all

I am astonished that you are still with this waste of space, lock down or no lock down get the police to remove him from your house.
What so your 4 children think of the string of waster boyfriends? Your children come first so why is he even staying with you.
You don't need a man in your life you have to stop this.
He won't change and neither will you - I'll bet this isnt the first horrible man you've been with.
You need to take a long hard look at yourself and have a think about why you try to rescue no hopers in this way.

I have heart failure and crohns disease so this is actually making me very unwell physically too... I am definately calling smaritans tomorrow and my drugs counselling group to have a chat. I'm sorry abiut the suicidal talk. It's very selfish on my part I know and I couldn't and shouldn't let his poor behaviour let it affect my family. X

CODA do online meetings read Melody Beattie Codependent no more you are as much of an addict as he is I’ve been there ❤️

Make sure you get any house keys from him before he leaves.

Good luck 💐

Hi LittleKitty115,

We're sorry that you're feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when threads like this are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected], or call them, any time, on 116 123. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you'll be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

We've put together some information, in conjunction with Women's Aid, about where to find help for anyone in an abusive or controlling relationship. Please take a look here - Walking on eggshells.

You can also contact the Freephone 24 hr National Domestic Violence Helpline, run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge, on 0808 2000 247 or visit womensaid.org.uk. If you are in immediate danger, always dial 999.

As always, we just want to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We really hope you're okay, OP.

The huge anxiety where everything goes black sound like a panic attack or something similar.

If he has no right to be in the property (he's not on the rent agreement/mortgage) then dial 101, explain what's going on and have him removed. Explain that he's aggressive and has a history of violence, may be on coke and refuses to leave.

I would employ a locksmith first thing tomorrow if possible, (seek advice from the police on that re lockdown), and get your locks changed or ask the police to get back your key while there.

Phone your GP out of hours service tonight if you still feel overwhelmed, for advice.

Get in contact with the Domestic Abuse helpline as well and take it from there.

Yes, second everyone here saying call the police now or as soon as you can. Tell them everything. They will help you. They will make him leave your house if you tell them what’s happening.
As pp much wiser than I have said, contact woman’s aid and the other wonderful helplines above.

Do not think you are on your own. We are all here with you, and so many wise MNers can give help and advice.

The first thing that stood out to me in your post is that you're a mother of 4. Please don't throw yourself away because of this scumbag. No matter how old your kids are, they need their mum. You've only been together 2 years, you've had your kids in your life far longer. Kick him out then call Samaritans. And if he tries to get back in, 999. It's hard to see clearly right now but your children need you.

Littlekitty you seriously do not need this in your life. Nobody does! Hes one horrible, parasitic human being to be treating an unwell woman like this! The man has no shame or decency! Take small steps! Reach out and grab all the help and support you can. Be aware he will try and reel you back in possibly to get money. Block him on everything. Speak to the police about keeping him away legally. Once hes gone that anxiety will go with him. Tell everyone what you have told us. You have already taken a massive step in the right direction by coming on here and seeking support.

Madcatladyforever thank you for kicking me when I am down. I don't need to take a "long hard look at myself" thank you I know perfectly well what is going on. Your comments and rude and unhelpful and have not helped my me tal health at all! Aside from her, everyone has been kind and helpful and I thank you for your advice and support x

Please call the police lovely, its abuse and its your house, has no right to be there, hes aggressive, violent and a thief, call 101, or 999 if he starts. youre not wasting anyones time. Put yourself 1st, make a stand and kick that son of a bitch to the kerb. He has no respect for himself or you, you dont owe him a damm thing and lockdown does not mean you have to suffer that prick a moment longer. Ive been on that cliff edge, debating the jump, its not a nice place to be, please feel free to message if you need a chat or just a rant, even advice on calling the police, im more than happy to help. So much can be done to protect you, dvpo, non molestation order, bail conditions, restraining orders etc. Good luck x

Thank you I will message you tomorrow as I'm in bed now. night x

Call the police and have him forcibly removed from your home.