I CAUGHT HIM WITH FULL EVIDENCE, 2 YEARS AFTER HE WANTS BACK

[shirleey]

I was married for 5 years, We have been together for 9 (good, happy) years, we have 2 children, a boy and a girl, had a nice life, good friends, holidays etc. To many, and to me it seemed like we really did have the almost perfect life.
I discovered that he had been texting/meeting up with another woman whom he described as an old friend. To make matters worse, this old friend lives in the same neighborhood as us, our daughters are also friends.
i didnt have any evidence to prove he was a serial cheater, on recommendation on one of the forums i found someone who helped me hacked his phone..i used my evidence against him, he couldn't deny it any longer. He was planning to move in with her.
i was hurt, we have been separated for over 2 years..
Recently, he got in touch with friends and family begging that he wants to come back..
It has been a difficult one, the kids missed him and i didn't.

If you haven't missed the lying cheating arsehole then it's not difficult at all. You don't have to have him back. You don't owe him anything.

"Recently, he got in touch with friends and family begging that he wants to come back"

And what has he done to open up communication with you directly, demonstrate his remorse, or act in a way that makes you feel he deserves another chance?

Well, that’s a shame.......

Nothing to do with you now. Move on OP. Do not waste any energy on him.

You’ve had 2 years away from the creep, don’t waste that

So he ignored you for two years what is there to consider here. Does he think you have no self respect? He’s still your children’s father and they will always have a relationship but you don’t have to be anything more than cordial. He chose to leave you and your children. Let him beg. Move on and be with someone who actually appreciates you.

Tell him to do one.

Let me guess, he also cheated on OW. She’s kicked him out and he can’t be bothered to stand on his own two feet.

Ah she finally kicked him to the kerb did she?

That's the only reason he's sniffing around now. You don't need him and to take him back now would send a message that he can do it again & still come back when he wanted to in the future.

Stay strong x

Don’t go back, you will probably regret it if you do.
He’s the father to your children , that’s it.

Has it not worked out with this OW by any chance???? Cheating bastard could go to hell if it were me

Why on earth would you take him back?

You haven't missed him, and presumably have moved on with your life.

You say he was a serial cheater - so that's extremely unlikely to have changed. Why run the risk of putting you and the kids through the same crap again?

In other words - the OW has now kicked him out and he's looking for home comforts again.

That's two relationships he's now screwed up. Oh, poor him...

Your life belongs to you, not your relatives and not your cheating husband.

Who cares what family and other relatives think, they would not be living with a cheat and a liar.
Why on earth would you trust him now?
What has changed?
Relatives do not decide for you.

Your children will grow up and leave, you may be the one left with this cheat.
Is that how you want to spend your life?
As Nicholas said, what a shame!

It's taken a global pandemic for him to realise what he's lost. That's still not a good enough reason for you to take him back. He's had the life he hankered for, while leaving you to pick up the pieces. Let him stew.

So he is rallying friends and family to put emotional pressure on you to take him back? I would guess he is manipulating in other ways too. He has lobbed a shot grenade into your life to deal with and he is keeping a safe distance from the splashback. You will be one dealing with these people telling you "but he is sorry/good dad/missing you". Is he waiting for you to ask him back so he can have the upper hand, after all you would be inviting him back, you would be the one needing him. My one word advice: Run!

Your children weren’t married to him, you were . If they miss him that’s down to him breaking up the family not you. It’s not your problem to solve.
Stay strong and don’t be manipulated by him.

He'll have to jog on!

You know that he lacks integrity. He lied, cheated and plotted. Why on earth would you ‘rinse and repeat’?

Not a chance in hell.

It's his own fault his marriage broke down and he'll have to suck it up and live with that. As others have said, he's only putting out feelers with friends/relations because the OW has got tired of him, or he's bored.

I wouldn't give him a minute's thought.

Thanks y`all for the messages, i really appreciate the support so far.
i have moved on over the years, it is always difficult when the one you loved with all your heart could treat you like a trash and thinks he can walk back into your life with ease. The biggest challenge i have are the kids, i feel guilty that i am restricting their happiness.

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

What a twat he is! Dumped you and now when she's done with him he thinks you'll be there to wash his socks, cook his dinners and keep his bed warm. Fuck that. Get a self-esteem and self-respect and apply to divorce this cheating cock who thinks he can wipe his feet all over you and you'll still lay around like a good doormat.

&He* has restricted their happiness.

He