Gender disappointment

[marshmellowdreams]

Please not hate! Just wondered if anyone else has experienced gender disappointment when finding out the sex of their baby?

Lots of research show most men want boys and are sadly far more likely to leave the family unit if their offspring are solely female.
Be grateful your relationship is statistically more likely to last.

I only had one and didn't care about the sex of the child. At the time of course we thought we'd have at least one more but afterwards other things intervened and we ended up as parents of an only child. A child, now very adult, who I would not swap for the world - neither would I have minded having two of the same sex.

When your baby is born you'll forget your misgivings, you really will but surely you knew there is no guarantee about the sex of a baby. Why be disappointed? Do you not like boys/girls?

@jessstan2 I guess something I hadn’t thought about before, but now you have asked the question it’s made me think .... when I was 10 years old I sadly lost my mum (I always remember what a great relationship we had ) and I guess I just longed for a relationship with a little girl and to give them something I didn’t have (I.e I remember the heart break and pain I went through when my mum passed , and I was hoping for my little girl not to have to go through that )
I’m not sure really. I just can’t seem to shake off how I feel about it, it’s like every time I see someone with a little girl I envy them. Or if I see someone is pregnant with a little girl I envy them .
I knew that when we were trying to conceive I could have either boy or girl but my gut told me I would have a little girl xx

#sexnotgender

@jessstan2 I agree with that you forget about it and you will not be able to even imagine after a few months that this boy would be a girl or the other way around, however I often feel like people's feelings are being discredited on here.

It happens and it's ok, to ask all of these questions you have make little sense. I have a different relationship with my mother than my brothers have, and that is true. We talk a lot more almost every day and I know this isn't guaranteed but maybe that's what OP thought she'd have, a close friend / best friend really?
My mother is one of my best friends, someone who loved me unconditionally in a way nobody else ever will, she understands and knows before I even do at times.

Would I have wished to have this? Yes. Was my second pregnancy very different than my first? yes. Did I think it was a girl? Yes. Was it a Girl? No. Was i slightly upset and disappointed? Yes. Am I 33 weeks pregnant now and cannot wait to meet my boy? YESSS. Am i still disappointed? No.

It's ok to feel that way when you find out, all I can say: it'll go away xx

No

@cptartapp

Lots of research show most men want boys and are sadly far more likely to leave the family unit if their offspring are solely female. Be grateful your relationship is statistically more likely to last.

I recall reading some research that said fathers were far more likely to play an active part in the pregnancy, such as attending antenatal classes, when their child was male.

Just realised this is an old thread 🤦‍♀️hopefully the op and her baby are both well and happy x

I don't think there's anything wrong with gender disappointment and people shouldn't be shamed for it. I know someone who wanted a daughter because her own mother died when she was a teenager and she wanted to create a mother daughter bond again with her baby, and felt sad to have a boy. But she is a fantastic loving mother.

Op feel the disappointment, accept it, move on from it. And then fall in love with the child you have. No judgement from me x

cheesebubble, you make very good points.

I would love the op to come back and tell us about her gorgeous baby girl or boy. I hope all went smoothly for her and that she is well.

Both exdh and I really wanted a boy. We had a boy but sadly he only lived a few hours.
Second was a boy and we were overjoyed .
Third and fourth were boys but both sadly stillborn.
Fifth was a girl. Exdh couldn't hide his disappointment.
Sixth was another boy and I have to admit it was my preference. I don't really know why though?

I had gender disappointment for about three days and got over it. It was more mourning that I’d never get to experience having a daughter rather than not wanting another son. I have less than 7 weeks to go until he’s here and I’m so excited to have my second son. You cannot control your feelings and it’s okay to feel a certain way. My firstborn is the love of my life and he is the best but because #2 was a bit of a surprise I wanted one of each. But I’m going to have 2 gorgeous healthy boys and I’ve never been so excited for anything. If anyone asks me if I’m going to try for a girl I will very nicely tell them to fuck off. My family is complete.