My friend doesn’t have Mumsnet and isn’t usually interested in forms of social media anyway, but has asked me to post for her to see if there is anything she can do.
She’s been with her husband for around 10 years. They are very close, the type of couple who have their phones connected so messages come through to both devices and the share a Facebook account and rarely use it...that sort of thing. Lets call my friend Jo and her husband Bill.
Jo’s husband is a lovely man. Really kind, though not particularly gorgeous or anything. He doesn’t go to the pub, he’s very similar to my own husband in the sense they are home bodies.
He actually works with my husband and in their department there are also 2 women and 4 other men.
Sometimes we all go out for coffee together. Partners are always invited. Bill is always very lovey dovy with Jo. Lots of public affection.
During these times something a bit strange has been happening.
The last 3 or 4 times we’ve all been out to Costa together, one woman (unmarried and about 15 years older than us, perhaps mid 50’s), has been really quite rude to Jo. She doesn’t speak to her. She greets me and everyone else with a kiss, but not Jo.
This is an example of the type of thing that happens...
Jo was sat next to Bill about 6/7 weeks ago and she got up to go and buy them another drink. This woman from work went and sat in her seat next to Bill and was chatting away. When Jo came back, the woman didn’t move or say anything and stayed in Jo’s seat for the rest of the hour we were there, leaving Jo to sit about 6 seats down. The woman also insisted on buying Bill a toasted sandwich saying he ‘looked like he needed feeding’.
Earlier this week my DH said that Bill brought Jo to work with him to help out (because of this crisis they needed a hand) and Jo was bending over putting some books away. Bill walked over and patted her on the bum in a joking way and Jo got up laughing and gave him a kiss. This spurred the woman who works with them to storm out of the room.
The other lady (very nice) who works with them had to chase her to see what was wrong and came back saying that she was dealing with some stuff at the moment with all of the lockdown.
Bill thinks nothing of all this and seems oblivious, but Jo is getting pissed off and senses somethings off, well we all do (me and my husband as well), but I don’t know what to advise her other than ‘ignore it. You’ve got nothing to worry about and you can’t control what others do’...but she said it’s making her feel awkward, an imposition and unhappy. Jo wants to confront this woman, but I think it’s a bad idea.
My DH says this woman is always making Bill drinks in work and bringing him treats from home e.g baked goods. She picks hairs off his jumper and has offered to iron his shirt when it was a bit crumpled at the back. She asks for lifts home a lot (I asked my friend about this and she says that Bill will give the woman a lift home sometimes as much as twice a week, but he texts Jo to let her know and he’s about 10 minutes late when this happens).
Has anything been through this? Is there anything she can do? It’s just a little awkward but I don’t think it’s problem of the century ( then again it’s not me who has to put up with it). Sorry for the long thread.