Do I resign myself to being alone now ?

[4tplussome]

I was married very very young - lovely man but we were like brother/sister. We got on great and raised 2 children very successfully.

We split after 28 years.

I had a relationship after this - fell absolutely head over heels in love which I'd never experienced.

We lasted a few years but there was something really wrong . He had no emotion, empathy and it became torture. I had never loved anyone like I did him tho. He was cold and unfeeling and I couldn't see a future, some big life events showed he wasn't capable of giving.

I left . I've been single since. I'm pushing 50. I do look after myself, I'm slim , fit , but I think I've given up.

Had a few dates using in line dating but it's a disappointment. Most blokes seem to just want wank material on some sites and the paid ones are a waste of money. Had a few dates . All terrible.

Im a professional woman and I'm fine alone , but I hoped I'd find someone. I've resigned myself to staying single because I won't settle again for less than I deserve. I don't have unrealistic expectations - just want someone I fancy, who reciprocated and respects me.
Is this an unrealistic expectation for a
Woman in their late 40:s? I'm fine alone - just a bit sad.

How long ago was your break up?

50 isn't too old to meet someone - it takes time to get over a relationship. My first thought is that you sound like you just need some time alone.

I moved out September last year but he kept me dangling a bit until I called a halt to that last week.

I'm content alone . I
Have pets
Who I love and keep me busy, I have made new friends,!im actually really content. I just miss him but I'm accepting we re done . He was
Messing me about a bit so I've had to
Man up and call it . I don't need him as a friend. And he was blurring the lines anyway yet didn't want to try again.

I'm scared I'll never feel that way about anyone else. I'd never experienced lust and love like it .

Did you really love him? Or was it the sweet desire of wanting someone you could never have?

Sounds like you have a lovely life. Give it more time and don’t necessarily give up on online dating - these are a few good men out there. I’d also suggest joining clubs and group hobbies when the lockdown lifts - I met my boyfriend in a meet up group and got loads of attention from men. It is still possible to meet men in real life.

You still have a long life ahead of you - fill it with all the things and people you enjoy and I’m sure you will find love again.

Hi, very close to 50 as well, and like you I have had very similar experience. I tried online dating but most are really odd and l am content in my own company so not sure anyone will fit my lifestyle, and I am a little bit apprehensive that I may never meet anyone again

50 is so young! And your last relationship is only just over. Seriously, if it’s what you want then it will happen again, just don’t feel the need to rush. I only started dating at 55 and now, at 57, I have a lovely partner having dated some really nice men. There’s a world of fun out there. Once the lockdown is over of course

Give it time and just don’t try too hard, a friend of mine (65) met a lovely man in a walking group ....... and they are very happy together.

I'm 50 and I have a 'boyfriend' but if we split up I know I'll be fine. I think you need to think about what you feel you couldn't do without a partner and then make yourself go and do it at least once. It really changes your mindset. It might not change your LIFE but it changes your mindset and that helps a lot.

The situation for you now is

''im actually really content''

In my forties I looked to hard. Then I stopped bothering. I was much happier as soon as I gave up. I wasn't lonely or unhappy, I was just worried that in the future I might be lonely or unhappy.

So now I just trust that I'll be ok. Ykwim/? It might not be the answer you want.

I'm 58 and after two long marriages and other relationships have definitely given up.
I don't need a man though, I'm financially independent, have my own home and lots of friends so there is no great longing there.

Never too old for friends or for love

When you can, go on tinder. Just approach with caution and treat dating as a bit of fun.

It worked really well for me at the same age.

If you are content alone, just do you, enjoy every second of life, if you meet someone you'll meet them while doing what you love

I don't believe you are content being alone. You have only really ended your relationship LAST WEEK yet you are already complaining your never meet anyone else. You also don't sound over you ex so you should not be meeting anyone at the moment anyway.

If you are an professional woman, start doing some self reflecting.

It's not too old at all, it is just a lot harder because less fish in the sea, higher expectations.

What you have to remember is that there are Ken out there who will be in the same situation than you, looking for a specific lady and tired of the in appropriate women he meets.

It's a case if bring patient and letting time and fate take over. It sadly means having to continue to try to meet people to help tempt fate.

uk

You have totally missed something- my last relationship ended 8 months ago! Not last week!!!

Been on tinder - suspended it . Too weird!

I’m 55 been single since ages 49. I will never date or have a partner again. I like my own space, I don’t want to have sex when they want and the older men are kinda stuck in the past where they think women are there for them. I didn’t want to live alone so loved in with my sister

I'm just sad - I fell in love. I liked that. I would love to feel that again. I enjoyed sex, I got butterflies, I felt alive . I'm fine alone - fine. I just wanted that amazing feeling again with someone who deserved it.

My mum met someone at 70. 50 is not too old!

I just can't see me fancying anyone now.

I'm fine . Just a bit wistful I guess.

I feel exactly the same 4. Came out of a long marriage and met someone by chance fairly quickly. I loved my Dh but I never felt the sexual attraction for him that I felt with this other man. It ended after 3 years and although I’ve had interest shown, I just can’t imagine ever feeling that incredible attraction to anyone again. I’m older than you too :(.

Also like you I’m fine - have good family and friends, a busy life. But I feel sad that I’ll never get to experience that heady feeling again.

Good luck to you (and to me!)

Grabber was he much younger? I think it's easy to fall in lust when you feel like your younger self with someone, but it never lasts. I wonder if that was the reason for the split. Or if he wasn't younger, you could try and pinpoint what was it about him and try to look out for the same type.
Much harder to find lasting love than a short exciting sexual connection. Although maybe it's just my experience.

I could have written much of your post, similar age except I'm not slim and I don't have pets. My kids are quite young and I can't see myself letting another relationship happen while they're young but at the same time my libido is raging and I crave another adult's company. All my friends are tied up with their own lives.
I don't want to do online dating anymore, I found it very hard to find decent people plus exh and ex partners all use the same sites, too weird and slim pickings at my age in my small town

OP, they say that true love is reciprocal - so the fact he was cold towards you, sounds like maybe he wasn't what you thought / he was a fantasy man? Possibly he was safe to fall for as he was unttainable?
I mean it's great you've experienced it, but no need to aim for that intensity as ou can still be happy in a different scenario, and give it time as 8 month with a few dates is not enough for online dating.