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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Pregnant and stuck with man I don’t love

58 replies

kittenrug · 22/04/2020 16:26

I’ve only been with him for 8 months (he’s 34 I’m 29), I found out I was pregnant 3 months ago after a contraception failure.

I was in a vulnerable place when we met, I knew I never loved him but had I been in a better place mentally and emotionally I wouldn’t have continued the relationship. He has zero personality and I’m sick of the same surface level conversations daily, we have nothing in common, we have no connection, never laugh, he’s boring, he hardly talks unless spoken to, the sex is terrible and I’ve never been sexually attracted to him and especially not now being pregnant. I think I felt safe with him after being hurt from a previous relationship. He is financially set for life and very generous I would have a great secure life with him for me and the baby but I can’t be with someone I don’t love for the sake of money and security. I keep thinking to myself how did my life end up like this?! What happened to myself! I don’t even feel like me anymore I feel like my soul is dying and now I’m about to bring a baby into this... What do I do?

OP posts:

Triggahippy · 23/04/2020 18:43

You need to be brave,OP
Please don’t stay out of guilt or convenience because this will set you up for life long misery. Be honest with your oh and co parent the baby the best you can

Triggahippy · 23/04/2020 18:47

Also wanted to add that your happiness matters and you absolutely deserve to be happy. Please don’t put this behind not wanting to upset your boyfriend.
Ignore some of the awful comments on here.

Aturtle18218 · 01/08/2023 00:45

I’m in the same boat as you. I left him but now I’m curious if I’m always going to care about him. I definitely never loved him the man’s a pet rock. Actually, a pet rock would be better because it doesn’t talk back.

Jeandouglas · 04/08/2023 09:14

Hi. I know it's been a long time, but I am in the exact same situation as you ( except I am financially unstable and he is also not a "millionaire") and I would love to know how your sitation worked out. I am desperate and miserable and feel like a trainwreck.
Please if you see this, let me know! Thank you
Wish you all the best

Nanny0gg · 04/08/2023 09:35

kittenrug · 22/04/2020 21:33

@Scott72 Co parenting will be no problem for me as long as he doesn’t change or turn nasty he can see his child whenever he likes and I’m sure we will figure out a schedule. We live in my house he has no where to go right now if I end it.

He is financially set for life so he has plenty of options of where to live. I'm sure you're not planning to chuck him out the second you tell him it's over.

He can find a rental till he buys somewhere.

DisquietintheRanks · 04/08/2023 09:42

Well, you could stop using him and leave. Find some other poor bastard to give you what you need.

Kitkat2023SLO · 23/10/2023 22:58

Dear @kittenrug …i am in EXACTLY the samo position at the moment…in 11th week of pregnancy. Please tell me how are things now? It is like a copy/paste with me, though I’m 36, and always wanted a baby…also a really nice guy, loves me a lot (too needy all the time), and i feel soooo guilty but just don’t love him. Also after long abusive relationship…What did you do?

Bbygurl270 · 02/09/2024 13:14

I moved a man in with me I have been dating for about almost 2 years and I end up getting pregnant. But I don't love him anymore and I don't want the baby. What should I do?

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