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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

So sad

34 replies

Rosebel · 22/04/2020 01:31

Last night my husband kept me awake until 5 in the morning snoring. I eventually fell asleep but had to be up by 8 as I had a midwife appointment.
Thought I'd get a good sleep tonight instead but as soon as I lay down my husband made it obvious he wanted sex. I said no.
Anyway it escalated until he kicked me out of bed and told me to sleep on the sofa.
Now on the sofa knowing I won't sleep because it's uncomfortable and I'm too upset.
Thing is I know in the morning he'll make out he was joking and I was stupid to sleep downstairs but I know he wasn't joking.
I guess I'm not really asking anything but just sad and needed to get it out of my system.

OP posts:
RUSU92 · 22/04/2020 01:34

You poor thing. Lack of sleep is torture. Do you have DCs with him?

Original poster
Rosebel · 22/04/2020 01:37

Yes we have 2 teenage girls and I'm due at the end of June (little boy this time).

OP posts:
TKAAHUARTG · 22/04/2020 01:37

He is abusive. He pressures you for sex and then kicks you out of your own bed? Get out OP, do you want him around your child?

HappyBirthdayQueenieMarm · 22/04/2020 01:37

He should have been kocked out of bed not you. He sounds abusive.

QueenOfPain · 22/04/2020 01:38

Wow, this guy is horrid. What a piece of shit.

EmeraldShamrock · 22/04/2020 01:43

Don't be sad be bloody mad. How fucking dare he, is he usually an abusive thug, I'd go upstairs with a jug of freezing water and throw it over him. Unless he is violent as well as abusive.
Do your teenager DC see this. I take it you're together a while. OP I'm sorry he treated you like this.

Original poster
Rosebel · 22/04/2020 01:49

We have had some problems in the past that I thought were behind us. Lately he has been really good to me and I thought we were happy. Luckily the girls are asleep.
It wasn't even a proper argument it was like he just suddenly snapped.
I just know tomorrow it'll be my fault for being over sensitive, except if he really didn't mean it surely he'd have come down and told me that.

OP posts:
Gratitudeiseverything · 22/04/2020 01:55

I would just go back and get in bed and have a good night's sleep.

RUSU92 · 22/04/2020 02:10

I would just go back and get in bed and have a good night's sleep.

I don’t know about you, but I find it difficult to sleep next to someone who’s upset me and who’s snoring heavily.

Rosebel, it’s appalling that you’re heavily pregnant and he’s not allowing you a decent nights sleep. This can’t be a man who is otherwise loving and caring. Please make plans - even if just in your head - to leave him as soon as practically possible. He sounds horrid.

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 22/04/2020 05:58

Makes his pregnant wife sleep on the couch because he can't get his end away, what a complete prick.

tallulahhulah1 · 22/04/2020 06:17

He sounds like a gaslighter

newstarting · 22/04/2020 06:20

He’s an arsehole and it’s time you stopped putting up with his crap. Go and get into bed and tell him to move to the sofa. You’re pregnant. Is this all because you said no to sex? Men are such entitled wankers. We should start a movement where none of them get anything. When did it become ok to expect sex or become abusive? I’m surprised anybody puts up with this!

AlwaysCheddar · 22/04/2020 06:24

He’s vile. Kick him out of bed tonight and see how he likes it. What a douche bag.

SummerWhisper · 22/04/2020 06:51

Next time he kicks you out of bed, don't move. What will he do? Is he likely to be violent?

Gobbycop · 22/04/2020 07:18

So you're due in a couple of months and he made you sleep on the sofa because you refused sex?

What a despicable piece of shit he is.

hellsbellsmelons · 22/04/2020 09:41

If it's not too late then please talk to your midwife about this.
This is vile.
He kicks you out of bed because you won't have sex with him when you are 7 months pregnant!!???
Fuck me - that is lower than low.
Please see this for what it is.
You should not be putting up with this.

Original poster
Rosebel · 22/04/2020 14:13

When he first told me to get out of bed I thought he was joking but then he kicked my legs so I just got out.
This morning it was like nothing happened and just got brushed off when I tried to talk about it.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock · 22/04/2020 14:19

When he first told me to get out of bed I thought he was joking but then he kicked my legs Please don't let him brush this off. I understand it is hard when you're feeling vulnerable he behaved disgusting.
Tell him you want him to stay on the sofa that will get him talking. What a dickhead.

Gratitudeiseverything · 22/04/2020 17:03

I feel like there must be two sides to this story. Did you speak to him rudely prior to this all occurring? You had two teenage DD with him and are now due your third. So I'm sure you know how he treats you when pregnant as you had the other 2 children with him and you both have years of history together. Surely you wouldn't of stayed with him that long or had a third child with him if he is as awful as your saying he is in this post?

2020firsttimemum · 22/04/2020 17:35

You're pregnant and he kicked you out of bed and told you to sleep on the sofa?!

Also pregnant - If my boyfriend kicked my legs like that and told me to sleep on the sofa I'd be kicking him out!

Lack of sleep is bad enough, never mind all the extra aches / pains / weird positions you need to get into when you're pregnant to be able to sleep.

He's bang out of order in my opinion. All because you didn't want sex?! He's got some issues

SandyY2K · 22/04/2020 17:41

You should have called the police. By kicking you, he assaulted you.

Was this the first time he has been physical towards you?

I would be very surprised if he has been a good husband up till now and suddenly showed this side of him.

Hellokitty82 · 22/04/2020 17:43

@SandyY2K
You took the words out my mouth

For gods sake don't stay with that revolting excuse for a man. Put yourself, your daughters and unborn baby first.

Get out before he really hurts one of you

SandyY2K · 22/04/2020 17:49

@Hellokitty82 Absolutely....he must have been abusive in the past.

We have had some problems in the past that I thought were behind us

What sort of problems may I ask?

bluebell34567 · 22/04/2020 17:51

unbelievable.

Hellokitty82 · 22/04/2020 17:52

What I don't understand is why any woman would think this behaviour was acceptable??
It's not 1970!! women are supported and here's tonnes more financial help for single parents now

I just wouldn't do it to myself or my kids but it's making that decision that's the hardest bit but it can be scary for people.

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