flylindon it’s really difficult isn’t it? The trouble is , and I totally understand, is that you are making up scenarios in your head of what you want to happen ( I had a million conversations with my ex in my head of what I would say, what he would say , how I made him see the error of his ways etc) but all the while you are doing this, you are treading water and not moving forward.
My very wise friend told me not to do ‘what’s if’s’ , what if he calls , what if he comes round, what if he gets better. We can’t predict any what if’s so it’s best not to think about them, concentrate on you and you alone, you are the important one in all this , you are only in control of you not him.
Having said all this , I do know how hard it is , so stay strong, keep posting here , maybe make a list of all his faults and pin them to the fridge so you don’t forget the reason that you don’t want to contact him.
And don’t forget, day at a time, you can do this , you ARE doing this ! X