My mother dosnt like any of my posts

[Deelou]

Rite well mite sound a bit pathetic but what would anyone else think if there mother didn’t like any of there posts or pics of her grandkids on Facebook but likes and comments on everyone else’s stuff?

I would remove her as a friend or put her on restricted list and not give it anymore thought.

I'd tag her in just in case Facebook's algorithm was excluding you from her newsfeed or something, but if she still didn't respond, I'd put her on restricted as per the PP.

I used to get a bit angsty over this, as I felt that my mum used to gush over her friends posts about their kids and grandkids etc. example I’d post a pic of DP and I on holiday, and nothing, and then her friend would share a pic of her own daughter and DP with ‘look at my gorgeous daughter and partner on their amazing holiday in the Maldives, wow wish I was there! Such a proud mum!’ And my mum would be underneath saying ‘Aw she is gorgeous! Wow Maldives good for them!’

It used to really bother me but then I realized that my mums friends reposting/sharing stuff their kids post is a bit cringe, and I said as much to my mum. She was a bit defensive but I said ‘you never even comment on my pics!’ And she said it just never occurred to her because I ‘know’ how great she thinks I am etc and she texts me all day etc so doesn’t need to see things on FB. But she has started saying ‘wow nice!’ And other such platitudes on Fb sometimes 😂 bless her. She also said she doesn’t even really mean it when she comments on friends pics etc, and she’ll always think that her own kids and grandkids are the best anyway haha.

So basically talk to your mum, maybe just say ‘did you see that pic of baby I put on today ?’ Or ‘Aw I liked that picture of baby I took today, I put it on Facebook what did you think?’ And see what she says

Really ? Like I’ve wondered why but I just don’t get it ... I speak to her and she sees me and the grandkids from time to time and even has them staying over sometimes ...I just find it weird and bizarre

Don't think too much into it. As long as she cares in the real world, that's what matters.

I did ask her one time about it as I’m put my sons birthday pics up there and she said no she didn’t see them so I said I’d tag her in them wich I did and she said oh Yh but didn’t like or comment on them ? 🤔

What? You're assessing your parental relationship based on if she gives you likes on FB?

no that’s not what I’m doing atall I’m saying why would my own mother not like any off her grandchildren’s pictures but like other people’s for example she likes one of my brothers posts all the time .. Yh sounds pathetic but I just don’t get it 🙄

People use their Facebook profiles really differently. Some just scroll through, others like and comment lots. My mum very rarely likes or comments on anything I do. We weren’t friends for years as she didn’t want to see what I was up to (as a teen/young adult)! I honestly couldn’t get worked up about it and tbh I think it comes across as really needy if you mention it.

I'd think ...... fuck: my mother has mastered the internet and created a Facebook account

This may not be relevant to your situation, but I'd be careful about how much content/identifying stuff etc you post about your kids online.

We had a huge family blowup recently when my 9yr old cousin realised my aunt had put pictures of her up on insta, she was really upset. Its such an easy habit to get into and we're so used to doing it with ourselves that it can be easy to forget that our kids have presences beyond ourselves - the internet is forever and i think its important that our little ones get to choose how much of themselves is out there for public consumption.

Yes, you're being absolutely pathetic.

What she feels in real life is what matters. I don't like everything my daughter puts up of my grandchild, because she's my grandchild. I get (well I did) to see her in real life and say all the gushy and loving things about her in person. FB liking is for those who pretty much only see her online.

My mum would likely have heard all the news in a much more personal format so wouldn't need to comment or like it. Or, if she hadn't she may be a bit peeved that she hadn't!

I don't always comment on my closest friends' stuff because I speak to them regularly anyway, whereas I will may comment if an old school friend I haven't seen in a decade posts a sweet pic of their kids or news of their promotion.

I suspect I get it wrong but it seems odd to me to post a gushy comment for public consumption if I've already said the same thing privately.

I’d be really pleased, my mother in law comments on absolutely everything I put on line ever to the point of making conversation on there

Ie a photo goes on Instagram and within seconds I’ll get “hi Shirley, oooh lovely pic, you and Bernard look lovely. Do you remember the time we went to the beach and had fish and chips! You wore a similar dress then. Anyone, Susan and I are going out for lunch so best be off. Give my love to your mum and dad. Lots of love grandma xxxx” then with 100 emojis

It’s very sweet and I love her but I’d marginally prefer nothing I think!

Too much angst.

It's Facebook. It's nothing to do with if she's a good mother or grandmother or even how much she likes you all.

Mum uses FB, I deleted it years ago...who even cares focus on what your real life relationships bring you.

YABU
Christ you can’t even have a fb account these days without competently unintentionally upsetting someone because you didn’t like their posts.
Maybe she has snoozed you because she finds you annoying.

Wow some of these comments don’t even know why I asked 🙉😞

If her FB is anything like mine, your posts probably don't even appear on her feed, it will be full of posts from other randoms.

Mine is currently totally overrun with about 95% posts on the village FB page, the remainder are from a couple of clubs I belong to. Almost none from actual family or friends.

What does Yh mean?

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace exactly! I'd be amazed! Mind you she's dead five years now but she couldn't ever figure out how mobiles or even faxes worked bless her!

Is this actually a thing? People getting judged by whether they 'like' FB posts? I really am too old

You're right it might sound pathetic, and it does! I can't believe you'd judge your mother on her interactions with your Facebook posts

@Batshittery some of us on here have lived some of the childhood and all their adult lives with social media. You might think it’s pathetic, but when it’s part of your life it can seem like a big thing if you let it.

I can’t remember life without the internet. I had an email address at 9 years old. It’s just life.

Chilli I didn't say it was pathetic. I asked if it was a thing? And why on earth would a 9 year old need an email address? As I said, I'm obviously too old.