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Original poster

Do you think I'm annoying him?

35 replies

borislovesme · 15/04/2020 09:03

My ex started messaging again in feb after blocking him after we broke up.
We now text every day but some days it's like he wants to chat all the time.
Other days it's like he can't be bothered with me.
Yesterday was one of those days.
I text him last night and he replied.
We had a short conversation and he didn't reply to my last text.
He read it 6 am and is now up but just ignored it.
Do you think I'm annoying him?
Shall I text him now?
Or wait till he texts me?

OP posts:
Sux2buthen · 15/04/2020 09:04

Yes. Leave him alone and he can reply if and when he wants to

Rainycloudyday · 15/04/2020 09:10

Why on earth are you demeaning yourself in this way? Presumably he’s an ex for a reason. Sounds like he likes having you dangling on a string and you have low self esteem and so are going along with that. Block him again and work on yourself.

thepeopleversuswork · 15/04/2020 09:12

What rainy said. The man is playing games with you. Why on earth would you give him that power?

Have some dignity, block him and take control of your life.

Original poster
borislovesme · 15/04/2020 09:13

He picks and chooses when he talks.
The days he wants too,I'm there.
Then the days he clearly doesn't want too..he just gives a few word answers.
Those days make me feel awful about myself.
My last text didn't need a reply but we were having a conversation.
I just find him ignorant at times.

OP posts:
champagneandfromage50 · 15/04/2020 09:13

Why did you unblock him in the first place? Stop and move on

Fedup2020 · 15/04/2020 09:13

Why did you break up? Think about that and remind yourself why you’re better without him. Don’t text again

Original poster
borislovesme · 15/04/2020 09:13

@champagneandfromage50 I never had him blocked.
He blocked me and then unblocked me.

OP posts:
Londubh · 15/04/2020 09:14

He’s an ex. He’s an irrelevance to your life. I wouldn’t be engaging or giving it headspace. You sound as if your self-esteem is low, if you’re worried about ‘annoying’ an ex who occasionally wants to show he can still make you reply.

LatteLover12 · 15/04/2020 09:15

He's treating you like a fool OP!

Block him and move on with your life. He obviously is only in this for the ego boost it gives him when you reply!

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 15/04/2020 09:15

You need to stop messaging him. He's playing kind games with you and it's hurting your self esteem. Take back your power! Block him for good this time. You're worth more than writing "doormat" on your forehead and throwing yourself under his feet.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 15/04/2020 09:15

*Mind games. He's definitely not kind!

Original poster
borislovesme · 15/04/2020 09:18

Yesterday it felt like it was me texting him all the time and him just giving me small reply's.
Yet the weekend he was the one initiating with me.
It makes me question myself
Am I boring him?
Am I annoying ?
Then I think we'll he texts me a lot at times but I don't think he's annoying.
I'm sick of this

OP posts:
AgathaX · 15/04/2020 09:21

So what if you are boring or annoying him. He's an ex. Inconsequential.

Or are you hoping to get back together with him?

QuacksInTheDark · 15/04/2020 09:31

He’s playing you like a fiddle. He’s probably with his girlfriend when he goes quiet and then all over you when she’s out of sight.
Why are so beholden to a man who has no respect for you and treats you like shit? He knows exactly how to play you and you’re falling for it every time.

champagneandfromage50 · 15/04/2020 09:33

to be honest I am getting annoyed reading your updates. Either block him and move on or dont.....

xoxoluna · 15/04/2020 09:34

Block him. He's playing and using you. He's an ex for a reason.

Crackerscheesescabbyknees · 15/04/2020 09:37

What happened for you two to break up in the first place?

Why had he blocked you?

Do you want to still be in a relationship with him?

He's texting you because he's bored. He picks you up when there's not much going on and then puts you down again when he doesn't have the energy for it.
It's a pretty typical dance for a shitty ex. Block you to have control. Unblock you because they are bored and know you're a ready source of cheap fulfilment. Ignore you when they don't need the attention.

You're not being treated well here. I wouldn't take it from a lover, I wouldn't take it from a friend.

Dig deep, find your self respect and leave your ex in the past.

Bluntness100 · 15/04/2020 09:38

Are you desperate to get back with him?

carriebreadshaw · 15/04/2020 09:39

I think it's called "hoovering". He doesn't really want you... he just hoovers you back in when he's bored or wants validation or is having doubts realising the grass may have actually not been greener after all.

But he's not showing any real signs of making an effort or winning guy back or giving anything at all to be honest.

Don't entertain it

Candyfloss99 · 15/04/2020 09:41

Well this is an easy one. Block him. He's playing you like a fool.

newmumwithquestions · 15/04/2020 09:47

I think you’re overanalysing this.
Maybe some days he’s busy. Some days less so. I’m not sure the comments about playing you like a fiddle are deserved. It’s not like he’s pouring his heart and soul into messages then ignoring you for 2 weeks. Sounds like he’s replying, even if they’re shorter messages some days.

But as pp have said there’s a reason he’s an ex. You do not sound over him at all. Do you want to be?

Sux2buthen · 15/04/2020 09:49

Or....he's in the same situation as everyone else and doesn't want to be on his phone every two minutes with someone analysing his every response
Yes he was on his phone at 6am but if he was knackered and just replied briefly it would be interpreted as being 'off'
Either way he's an ex so I'd avoid

AliasGrape · 15/04/2020 09:49

Are you reading the replies? You don’t seem to be engaging with them you’re just repeating yourself.

I know you would love to believe he’s unblocked and started messaging you because he still has feelings for you/ couldn’t keep away/ regrets how he treated you or whatever else it might be.

The reality is that he was probably bored, maybe knocked back by someone else he was trying it on with, or just fancied an ego boost. He doesn’t need to put the effort in/ keep conversations going when he’s not in the mood because he knows you’ll be there where he wants you whenever he DOES want to play because he’s bored/horny/ lonely/whatever.

He’s not treating you with any respect here but then you’re not demanding any.

If you want to keep replying to him entirely on his terms then crack on, but please don’t think it will lead to a reconciliation or mean that he starts to respect you.

If he wanted to get back together or even to build a friendship then he’d say so, and then his actions would go on to prove that. Picking you up and dropping you as and when he feels like is not the sign of somebody who wants to be in your life in any meaningful way.

thepeopleversuswork · 15/04/2020 10:42

The fact that you are giving headspace to what he does or doesn’t think suggests you have very little sense of your own value.

He is an ex. He dumped and blocked you and as such has no right to you engaging with him in any way. By continually responding you are just stoking his ego and allowing him to use you.

Don’t give this man another thought. He does not value or respect you

pinkyredrose · 15/04/2020 10:45

Why do you place so much importance on his texts? Why the hell do you want to keep in contact anyway? He probably enjoys the power he has over you.

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