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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I settling?

66 replies

Colourmylife1 · 09/04/2020 18:50

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible! I'm in my late 50s, divorced for 5 years following ExDH's affair and I've been with someone I met OLD for 3 years. We are very much in love, we have lots in common and when we are together we have the greatest time. He has his own house but spends most of his free time at my house and contributes generously to the bills. He also pays for holidays, meals out etc including for my adult kids. They all get on really well. He plans ahead, talks about the future and says that he wants to be with me for the rest of his life.

BUT - he works away a lot of the time and also visits his DP on another continent for weeks on end without any certainty about when he will be back. So, overall we actually spend very little time together and moving in together and/or marriage is really not on the cards. I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand I'm not sure I want to remarry, on the other hand I feel that if he really loved me he would want to marry me! I know how illogical that sounds.

At first he assured me that his crazy travel schedule would change and he would be working less. In time I've come to realise that nothing will change. He's actually someone who cherishes his freedom and wants to come and go as he pleases with reference to no-one. There will always be a reason for him disappearing off. If it's not work or parents it will be something else. I actually don't blame him for this and in some ways quite envy him. I don't have the same flexibility due to work and other commitments.

My dilemma is this - do I settle for what he is able to offer me? Or do I give him up in the hope that I'll meet someone 'perfect' (i.e. more dependable and more physically present) at my stage of life? I'm not scared of being on my own but I do worry that I will regret giving up on such a relationship which in many ways is supportive, loving and fulfilling.

Any advice?

OP posts:
lilybetsy · 13/04/2020 22:14

I am sorry if I upset you, that was not my intention. It’s just that you sound so unhappy ... and people don’t post here unless they ARE unhappy ... and it doesn’t really matter if others would be ‘happy’ with what you have, you are not happy ... and you should listen to that gut instinct

Flowers
Colourmylife1 · 13/04/2020 23:25

@billy1966 I have certainly got plenty to think about. I also need to have a very long conversation with him face to face. I’m
not going to end things by text plus I do want to hear his perspective. I am really impressed by the wisdom, kindness and insight in all the responses.

@BumbleBeee69 - DP - dear parents? There’s no darling partner that I know of!

@lilybetsy I’ve only been upset by the responses because I recognise the validity. No need to apologise. It’s really helpful to hear all views - even ones that don’t tell me what I wanted to hear!

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billy1966 · 13/04/2020 23:30

Exactly OP...do your thinking before you meet him next and how he responds to your points will tell you a lot.

I really think you have this, going forward, either way Flowers👍👍

user1493494961 · 13/04/2020 23:44

I think what you have sounds pretty good, I wouldn't throw it all away.

Colourmylife1 · 13/04/2020 23:50

On many levels it is great. And at its best very fulfilling. But I have also been experiencing anxiety about it. If I’m being generous his communication style is not compatible with mine. At worst it is selfish and probably manipulative. And as a PP
pointed out people don’t generally post on the relationship board when they are happy.

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Jingers5 · 14/04/2020 00:09

Op, l think you know deep down what this guy is offering is not enough for you.

It's seems like he has one foot in the relationship and one foot out. The fact his lack of contact is making you feel anxious, l personally would cut my loses. I think you deserve more.

GreatDryingOut · 14/04/2020 00:21

He sounds like a wonderful companion but a non-committal partner.

Fizzysours · 14/04/2020 08:01

It is quite rare to meet a man you could really love. At any age...but the older we get, hopefully, the better we know ourselves, so the pool if men we could love gets smaller.

I am not sure I would know how to advise you but you may very well not meet another really loveable man fir quite some time. I love my own space so your set up sounds perfect... but I know we are all different. It would be a shame to dump a man you love (oh and by the way, that is heartbreaking) then find that there is nobody else you could love the same way.

FlowerArranger · 14/04/2020 08:29

It would be a shame to dump a man you love, ... then find that there is nobody else you could love the same way.

But she could love HERSELF the same way!

“The key is in learning how to live a healthy, satisfying, and serene life without being dependent on another person for happiness.” (Robin Norwood, Women Who Love Too Much)

@Colourmylife1... As things stand - and this is unlikely to change unless he has a complete change of outlook and intent - this relationship is causing you significant anxiety. You are spending a lot of time struggling, worrying, wondering why he doesn't care for you as he should, and trying to figure out what might be the best way forward...

It's good that you realise that this cannot continue. Your plan to have a very long conversation with him face to face and hear his perspective is a good one. Just be prepared for (a) a lot of fine words that he may never act on, or (b) him ending it.

FlowersFlowersFlowers

FlowerArranger · 14/04/2020 08:30

Or... You may come to the conclusion that ending it would indeed be in your own best interest...

Colourmylife1 · 14/04/2020 08:38

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

I am reading and considering them all. The contradictory views reflect the way my thinking changes from day to day. I don’t think I am quite ready to walk away without talking to him first and that won’t be happening anytime soon.

I have seriously thought about counselling- to help me work through what I really want.

OP posts:
Colourmylife1 · 14/04/2020 08:57

@FlowerArranger Sorry cross post. I have seen the book you named mentioned on here a lot. The title puts me off but is it something you would recommend for this situation?

I think I am quite capable of being happy on my own. My life is pretty full and fulfilling. I have great family and friends and they are the most important people in my life. I have a really rewarding job.

It’s still nice to have a partner ( not sure about the choice of words but ‘boyfriend’ sounds ridiculous at my age!) to plan holidays and weekends away with. I honestly would have been happy with that. The complication is that I fell in love. He is not a complete flake - he supported me through a health scare last year and has been there for me though some difficult family issues. I haven’t once thought he’s only around for the good times. I genuinely think he is a very good man.

OP posts:
furryfritter · 14/04/2020 09:54

Don't put all your eggs in one basket. If I were you I would keep him on the back burner, treat him like a casual FWB and keep your eye out for a better match.

What you want matters, it's not all about him. You only get one life don't waste it waiting around for Sir Gallivanter to pop in and out of your life when he fancies. He's doing what's best for HIM, you do what's best for YOU.

FlowerArranger · 14/04/2020 11:21

@Colourmylife1... I know exactly what you mean about the title of Dr Norwood's book putting you off. Yes, she wrote it for and about women who, time and time again, obsessively fall for unavailable men. However, it contains so many universal insights and useful advice for any woman who is or has ever...

"... been in a relationship that's meant more pain than love, more tears than joy and more giving than what you're getting in return, this book is for you."

Quoted by just one reader here:
www.goodreads.com/book/show/239509.Women_Who_Love_Too_Much

Or a more academic evaluation here:

www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/women-who-love-too-much-are-you-one-of-them/

Truly, I think most women will gain something from WWLTM. There's a reason it is still being read by millions today, 35 years after it was first published.

BumbleBeee69 · 14/04/2020 13:21

DP - dear parents? There’s no darling partner that I know of!

thank gawd for that..

Colourmylife1 · 14/04/2020 15:33

@furryfritter I don’t feel as though I’m putting my life on hold, although I can see that’s how it might look. I make plans to do things with friends and I took a few trips away last year both on my own and with friends as well as with him. I’m also happy at home pottering
in my house and garden.

@FlowerArranger book ordered and on its way to my kindle. I’m intrigued having seen it referenced so often on here! I also read up about attachment styles which made sense of my whole marriage!

@BumbleBeee69 Grin

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