I'll try to keep this as brief as possible! I'm in my late 50s, divorced for 5 years following ExDH's affair and I've been with someone I met OLD for 3 years. We are very much in love, we have lots in common and when we are together we have the greatest time. He has his own house but spends most of his free time at my house and contributes generously to the bills. He also pays for holidays, meals out etc including for my adult kids. They all get on really well. He plans ahead, talks about the future and says that he wants to be with me for the rest of his life.
BUT - he works away a lot of the time and also visits his DP on another continent for weeks on end without any certainty about when he will be back. So, overall we actually spend very little time together and moving in together and/or marriage is really not on the cards. I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand I'm not sure I want to remarry, on the other hand I feel that if he really loved me he would want to marry me! I know how illogical that sounds.
At first he assured me that his crazy travel schedule would change and he would be working less. In time I've come to realise that nothing will change. He's actually someone who cherishes his freedom and wants to come and go as he pleases with reference to no-one. There will always be a reason for him disappearing off. If it's not work or parents it will be something else. I actually don't blame him for this and in some ways quite envy him. I don't have the same flexibility due to work and other commitments.
My dilemma is this - do I settle for what he is able to offer me? Or do I give him up in the hope that I'll meet someone 'perfect' (i.e. more dependable and more physically present) at my stage of life? I'm not scared of being on my own but I do worry that I will regret giving up on such a relationship which in many ways is supportive, loving and fulfilling.
Any advice?