We've been stuck in a living together situation since the recent travel restrictions started - he lives 4 hours away so although he could go back, we knew once he went he probably couldn't come back here again.
Was ok at first, over the last 7-10 days we've been sniping at each other a bit. I sat him down last night because he was really quite dismissive and argumentative a few times in the day, and asked if we could talk about why he was upset/ unhappy.
At first he refused, 'what's the point'. This is a common tactic he's done in the past. Then said he'd been trying to raise issues with me for the last 10 days and I just trample all over him all the time. I have no idea of any occasions where he's tried to speak to me, but I apologised if he felt I'd squashed discussion, I'd not done it deliberately but could we talk now? He says why should we talk just because I say so...
I let that go, and explain I've been concerned because he's been physically distant from me and up til 3-4am every night 'working'. He admitted he won't come to bed at the same time as me because partly work but mostly because I turned him down for sex 2 weeks ago and also because I made a comment about feeling ill at ease in a certain position, and likened it to something, and that made it 'weird'. So he decided he wouldn't come to bed as 'what's the point, nothing's going to happen' and then - allegedly - changed his mind on Monday, but because I was 'snippy' with him in the day, he decided not to bother.
I said this was petty and childish of him.
Discussion continued, and became more heated. He said calling him petty and childish was emotional abuse, that I'm an abuser. He was bellowing at this stage, and pointing his finger in my face.
I was subject to physical abuse in a previous relationship, and have told him before that behaving in this manner makes me uncomfortable. I repeated this last night - he said why should my problems concern him?
He then stood in front of me, placed his hands just below my shoulder level, and pushed me. Not hard, but enough to make me take a step back (I weigh about 9st less than him). It didn't hurt me but I feel that this has really crossed a line.
I know if I raise it with him he will say 'I didn't hit you'. As though that makes it ok. But I think as a minimum for us to have any hope of even discussing any of this shit he needs to apologise, that's not unfair is it?