Nobody has been in love with me for years, just want to meet someone

[Sapphiresunrise]

I know there are obviously worse problems than this going on at the moment. I suppose not working now is making me reflect on things more which is both good and bad.

Guys just never have feelings for me. The last time I had a boyfriend who loved me (I think) was 7 years ago, and i'm 28 now almost 29.

I have tried everything, I've had several 'breaks' from dating, focused on myself, i've spoken to a therapist and friends who cannot see an issue, just that I need to be confident.

I don't think I come across as needy or desperate, don't tell them I love them after one date or anything like that.

I think i'm pretty but could be prettier. I'm tall and slim, I think my face is nice but could be better, so i've decided to get filler in my nose and lips once things are open again, and i'm having braces at the moment.

The last guy left me for an exceptionally pretty girl with a big massive grin and I suppose I have compared myself to her (which is my problem I know).

I've seen someone posting before about guys expecting women to have a certain personality based on their looks, and I think that's my problem.

Guys seem to think i'm 'hot' and want to sleep with me, but i'm quite quiet and nerdy and not an 'out there', party person. I like doing stuff like Maths, Pokemon and computing, but other than that i'm very into hair and beauty and I do a lot of sports.
I'm a friendly and kind person, with hobbies and I like travelling etc. I just think I'm maybe too nerdy and quiet.

I've been told a lot too that I look/seem much younger than I am. I work in a high school and students have even referred to me as sweet and cute, and placed me at 18!

I wonder if they see me as a 'sweet young girl' type too.
Also, I prefer to get to know someone before I kiss/sleep with them, I couldn't on the first date.

I don't know what else I can do. I've been dumped and rejected after so many short-term relationships (less than 2 months).

I think i'm loveable and I also don't think everyone in a relationship has amazing self-esteem.
I want to know what it's like to be in a loving relationship, and it's just upsetting me.
Sorry for the long rant, I don't know what else to do.

OP - I could have written this about myself but I am older than you.

The thing is, chemistry is a fickle thing. I have been on dates with good looking people and the attraction hasn't been there. When you meet the right person the plastic surgery won't matter.

I'm a sort of a quiet person and I think
I go wrong with relationships in general because I don't set boundaries. Could this be the case with you?

It's hard to get over someone no matter how long you have been with them and this lockdown period is tough. You will find someone that deserves you

I'm in a similar boat to you OP. I'm 36, divorced with a teenage boy. I've been dating 3 years and have had absolutely no luck. Like you, I keep getting compiments on my looks, personality, intellectuality etc from friends and family and they all keep telling me how surprised they are I am still single, it hurts. You know there is nothing really wrong with you, and pretty much tick boxes you were told men look for, only to witness a reality that's entirely different. This makes you think "I've done X, Y and Z, and STILL can't find anyone ( or why won't they commit to ME, am I not good ? what's missing?"

I feel it more nowadays, when all my friends are settled and on their own paths and I'm not.
This lockdown doesn't help.

This site is my refuge. There is a lot of support and what I like to do is read through the messages that give me some glimmer of hope.

I still don''t know what "when you least expect it" means as it contradicts the "put yourself out there" message.
It used to annoy me when I was TTC many moons ago and kept being given the same advice "when you least expect it, stop thinking too much etc"
How do you stop expecting to conceive when you're DTD? Same with single hood. If you're on the apps, or going out there is some expectation, surely?

I am generally against any plastic surgery esp if it is to mask other issues. You sound lovely OP, you have the freedom to choose if you want to do that and no one can judge you.
I hope you find your forever person. You're not alone in this. Look a little closer and you'll see a lot of us in your boat :)

Thanks for the kind words :) sorry to hear that others have felt the same.
That's true, there are more people than I realise which I must not forget.
When I was a student in my early 20s it was so much easier to meet people, I was surrounded by guys, but it just seems a lot harder now.
My friendship group are mostly married/settled down and we don't tend to mix with groups of men, no nights out etc. Which is a bit boring..
I don't like OLD that much, and i'm nostalgic about the old days.