How is YOUR DP/H getting on your nerves in this lockdown?

[Zola1223]

Mine is playing video games all day and sometimes well into the night. The other day he came to bed at 3am and woke me up. We've not DTD once since the lockdown because his computer is sooooo much more important/interesting than his DW.

He's forgotten how to cook we used to take it in turns to make dinner but now I seem to be doing everything. When I asked him to cook the other day he managed to cock it all up.

He's also not replaced the toilet paper on 3 separate occasions

Tell me I am not the only one questioning my marriage

Seriously pissing me off. I’m in the house doing everything for the children while he is sitting in peace in the summer house pretending to work and actually playing on his xbox.
Would be nice if he thought oh seeing as I have all this time on my hands why dont I take the kids for a walk and give riding some peace....

And before anyone asks yes I’ve suggested this to him. Sigh

Yup. Mine’s eating like a locust. Only to be outdone by teens.

Seething quietly.

I am WFH and he is furloughed, it's s annoying me that he's not doing more round the house (deep cleaning, cleaning windows, garden stuff) but am trying to keep it to myself for the sake of harmony and avoiding conflict if we're gonna be stuck here for weeks.

He is doing more of the normal round the house stuff like cooking and cleaning so it's not too bad.

It's probably irrational but the sight of him on his xbox in his shorts like a teenage boy does just give me the rage

Repeatedly asking me what my plans for the day are 🙄 Thankfully he's been called into work today so I get a little bit of respite from him as he really struggles being kept in. Other than that he's not too bad although I'm having to rein him in so that he doesn't do all the "jobs" that need doing otherwise he'll be bored.

His WFH office is in our bedroom, so once the teens are awake there is literally nowhere I can go to get away from people.
DH keeps coming downstairs to use the downstairs loo (to make sure he gets a bit more walking than 4 steps across the hall to the upstairs one), so he keeps popping into the living room to see what I'm up to. This is usually just at the moment I'm getting into a podcast or radio drama, and really breaks my focus. That, and hearing his toilet sounds.
DH and the DCs insist on asking me what's for dinner, like I'm the food guru. Most of the time I neither know nor care, it's they that are picky about food.

@Raera same here! Loving all the time we have together. We’re both wfh, set up office together ok the kitchen table so having good chats during the day, out for walks in the eve, doing gardening & diy together and sharing all cooking and cleaning. I always said I could never get enough of spending time with him and the lockdown has proved that!

Insisting on getting up at 6am...and waking the whole fucking house up so our days are even longer.

Still expecting me to do everything, even though he's not leaving the house for work at the moment , so should help me.

Sleeping all afternoon because he gets up too early. Asleep now.

Keep catching him trying to leave the house! Can't seem to get it through his thick skull. He bangs on about how dangerous Covid-19 is, and watching the press conferences religiously. Yet three times now I've come home from work (key worker) and caught him trying to leave the house. Once to buy a belt, and twice to go buy a lottery ticket he is a key worker too AND asthmatic to boot.

Not getting up till 9 or later. Not helping around the house (our cleaner isn’t coming and we have 4DC’s at home). Yesterday the kids and I had a really good clean up, mopping floors etc, I asked him to take out the rubbish. He left the overflowing recycling and just took out the rubbish bag....left it outside the back door instead of taking it to the bins so this morning the foxes had ripped it open and strewn rubbish everywhere. He has ADHD and is the messiest person in the house by far. Normally I tolerate his quirks but at the moment I feel like murdering him.

I've been unwell but not scarily so for 12 days, exhausted, tight chest, clammy and pounding heart. Yesterday he asked me if it wasnt time I tried to 'turn things around and feel better'.

• Drinking beer all day from 12 onwards. He’s an ex alcoholic and has been doing brilliantly not drinking for almost a year until this lockdown. Fantastic when new baby is due within weeks!
• Creating more mess and rubbish for me to clear up by being at home 24/7 (I.e. puts an empty pot noodle pot on the side instead of in the bin, beer cans all over the house instead of the recycling, more pots being used and no dishwasher)
• Using a toilet that clearly has toilet cleaner soaking in and flushing it away before I’ve had chance to clean. Free toilet is in the next room in en-suite/vice versa
• Makes himself drinks but never offers me one
• Speaks and shouts at the television like the characters can hear him. Says derogatory things about the women on there and calls characters horrible names
• Hasn’t cooked a single meal
• Moans if I ask him to do the tiniest things and then complains for hours that I’m ‘constantly telling him what to do’
• Leaves rubbish and dirty pots at the top of the stairs instead of bringing them down. Walks past them several times
• Pisses all over the toilet (double rate now he’s home all day every day) which I have to clean off with anti-bac wipes that are so hard to come by right now (I refuse to use a sponge for piss🤢)
• Yesterday his toe nails, put said nails on a dirty plate then had the nerve to put the plate in the washing up bowl with the nails in. Fucking vile

There is literally nothing I do that could be construed as annoying aside from maybe heavy breathing and making noises when I move around (8 months pg). All I do is clean, browse through my phone and stay in bed to keep out of his way when he’s pissing me off so I don’t bury him under our conservatory. I love him but it’s better when he’s at work 8am-8pm 5 days a week. I’m so glad DD is isolated with my parents so she doesn’t have to experience the bad vibes and annoyances

@starrysimon I hope you are making plans to leave this man before the baby arrives? These are not just annoying things - you’re living with a raging alcoholic who makes more work for you, gives out to you and shouts at tv and drinks all day. You can’t bring a baby into that. Can you move to your parents?

If you can only normally tolerate him when he is away from you for 12 hours a day it sounds like your marriage is dead in the water even before the full blown alcoholism returned

Not replacing toilet rolls, leaving plates on the table or the side instead of putting them in the dishwasher, playing scrabble on his phone and the annoying noises that makes and the constant his DD everyday because I have to hear his ex and like last night when his DD wanted to say Hi to me he came into the bathroom as I was on the toilet pointed the phone in my face and both his DD AND the ex are staring at me 😩

Constant facriming that should say

Face timing!!

No, not at all. He is in his study from 8-7 most days maybe later (still no sign of him today) He comes down to make lunch and coffee/tea but other than that I don’t know he is here. He works too hard tbh but I can’t change that.

Spending most of the day slumped in front of his laptop in the studio - where I could be working comfortably instead of on the settee - and then moaning that his neck hurts.

Well yes, dear, that is what happens when you push your head forward and adopt a posture more akin to a gorilla than a human being.

Although having said that, he did actually allow himself to carry out some guided Pilates/ballet based movements earlier because that's how I keep my posture and hypermobile joints from going to shit.

Just wait til I get him on battements. He's so punk rock.

Today he has worked all day in his study and appears to think I am 'George' from the tv advert, waiting to have my name constantly called so I can run up and down two flights of stairs with anything he needs. When I ignored him he phoned me to see if I was unable to hear him.

He loads the dishwasher by putting things anywhere, including bowls the right was up so they are full of water at the end.

He eats like he has not been fed for a week and wanders the kitchen looking for 'snacks'.

Apart from that he's been great.

No, mine’s a doctor now working with covid patients. I’m really worried about him. He’s an absolute hero in my eyes and fear of losing him puts petty niggles (of which there are usually plenty) into context.

@MitziK why are you putting up with that? Tell him it’ll be alternate weeks working in the studio as you are both working from home.

Mine is getting very narked with me, because I’m working from home and ‘taking over’ the lounge. Also narked that I’m working on line. Oh and narked that I go for a run for my exercise (should be queuing for the newspapers according to him).

Sorry @starrysimon, he’s not an ex-alcoholic...

Your life will be better as a single mum, I promise.

He's a self employed contractor and has no work at present so no money coming in. Said we had to cut back on spend but is eating constantly and then making lists of what he wants replaced. Expects me to do the shopping even though I work from home. He does nothing little in the way of housework but creates most of the mess. I'm seriously considering digging that new patio!

My DH has started saying “I beg your pudding” when he hasn’t heard something. Why? Whyyyyy? Twenty nine years of marriage and suddenly “I beg your pudding” comes out of the blue.