Terrible ONS

[onsffs]

About 3 weeks ago I had a ONS with someone from work who've I've been flirting with for a while. It was completely unexpected and I was horribly drunk.

A couple of really embarrassing things happened and now I keep getting the most dreadful flashbacks. It's giving me anxiety. How can I put it out of my mind? I literally cannot stop thinking about it.

FWIW it's the first time I've had sex in three years since getting divorced. And to make it even worse I do quite like him. And I'm going to have to face him when this lockdown is over.

I feel like shit

I've done this.

Years ago, I was 21. Fancied the pants off my colleague, was so obsessed with him! One night we all go out after work, he doesn't leave me alone, very flirty and lots of fun. He suggests a hotel, I agree. We head back, I am so excited. We mess about, have a laugh, get naked, get started...all good until I realise that him throwing me about has mixed up all the vodka and red bull I'd consumed and I vomited all over his chest. He wasn't cool about it, at all. Jumped up, was so cross. I was mortified. He actually went home too and I slept in that vomit smelling room on my own all night wondering what the fuxk had just happened.
Had to see him monday morning and every day for a year after that. He joked about it but my good god, took me months before I could laugh back with him about it. You're not alone!

Just had some wine (pre my glow up starting tomorrow obvs) and re-reading some of your replies.

I know that I will laugh about this in the future, even if it's a bit raw now.

God you know on here how we all know about 'penetration man'? Am I forever going to be talked about on Pistonheads or somewhere similar as 'fish hook fanny'?

And tbf fair I did text my best mate the next morning saying 'my new minge felt marvellous' but that was before the horrors kicked in

crying with laughter at this OP

Sorry to laugh at your misfortune but it doesn't sound that bad. Just normal everyday stuff (apart from the fish hook fanny)

Fish hook fanny - love it
I definitely second that he won't have noticed any of it.
Be nice to yourself and remember he probably did things he hopes you didn't notice.
I was expecting much much worse than a stitch, bit of blood , stubble and manky underwear.
Tell yourself something positive about the experience and push the negatives out of your mind.

Honestly, he really won't have noticed, or care, about the underwear, the hairy legs, this fish hook. Honestly!

He's probably cringing about what he did - and wondering why you haven't contacted him!

This reminds me of an essay I submitted, an autobiographical piece - to a tutor I fancied (that old chestnut!). I died a thousand thousand deaths, regretting with my whole heart submitting it. Contorted with shame and regret! What a waste of time and agony. If I read it now it's very ordinary, if not bloody brilliant good, infused with real life. I got a good mark. Plus he wasn't worth the agony, frankly.

It's about exposure, the fear of exposure. Onwards and upwards op! You are FAB!

And tbf fair I did text my best mate the next morning saying 'my new minge felt marvellous'

^

Another one who's howling at this

Chances are if you thought your minge felt good, he did

Oh Op! Look sometimes in life we just have some shit sex. It’s one of those things. It happens to us all and this was your time.

I think from his lack of contact you can be sure he is no longer interested. (Sorry- dont want to give you false hope) so it doesn’t really matter what he thinks of you anymore. You could front it out and when you see him again say “well it’s safe to say THAT was a disaster.” Just get it out of the way- no awkward glances etc. And then just straight away move onto another subject. Like how boring isolation was, and how you never thought you’d miss work. If he is still interested in you he’ll find a way to assure you it wasn’t that bad and maybe suggest giving it another go. With less alcohol.

I had a horrific one night stand with a guy from a course. I can't even bear to write the full details. Suffice to say: i had my period and it was heavy.

His hotel room looked like a murder scene. I had to go to the drs to get a tampon removed. Awful, awful.

However, it didn't end up being a one night stand. And we had a mild fling for the next couple of times we were on residential other the following months . We were both post divorce and it kind of suited us. Now we are great mates and still occasionally remember the HORRORS of that first night with a laugh.

The reason i share it, is if it hadn't been for that complete shocker of a night, my post divorce confidence would have taken much, much longer to recover. And i have thanked him for that. It was the lowest baseline ever, but i recovered. Just. Still blush thinking about it.

Many years ago, my best pal got together with a guy at the end of a all-day drinking session... they were getting very intimate when 12 hours worth of martini and lemonade started to want to break free...
She said that just as he swung her up into his arms to kiss her, she did the tiniest little burp... and vomited the entire days alcohol all over his nakedness. He was so shocked that he actually dropped her, and backed away shouting “get out, get out, that’s my Mothers rug you’ve ruined!!”
For a good while after, ‘feeling a bit Mother’s rug’ was our code for feeling sick😳
Loved your post Op, and I feel your pain... but ‘fish-hook fanny’ is a classic!😂
Glow-up for your return to work, bit of a tan, plenty of healthy food, couple of new tops, etc... He was lucky to have you!! 🌺

I'd act like it was history. Bad behaviour on both your parts and carry on as before. By the time there's any modicum of normality it will seem like small socks. Don't sweat it, forget it.

Women have needs. Women mensturate.

If you still like him, l would be tempted to say let’s try and get it right next time.

The sex time lapse has made this a bigger deal than it is.

And sort your underwear out, if only for your own self esteem.