Flouting the lockdown, it’s wrong, right?!!

[Blinkingecksake]

Just having a moan really... I don’t live with my partner, but due to working at home, the only people he has seen in the last 3 weeks is me and my children, so if I did see him, minimum risk. However, we won’t see each other because we feel it’s the right thing to do, it’s not essential travel, we’re law abiding and sensible and have accepted the guidelines that we can’t now see each other till god knows when. Him moving in here temporarily isn’t a go-er as he needs to work from home, lots of video calling etc and I have a noisy household with kids.

But! I’m so surprised at the number of people who are flouting this! And am so surprised by people’s reactions when I say I’m not seeing him (half hour drive away involving motorway, even if I did want to flout it I’d worry I’d get stopped!). They’ve said they’d just go anyway when kids at their dads. Some agree that I’m doing the right thing, but not all.

Am I missing something here?! Apologies if this has been covered already - been trying to focus on kids and school work and not disappear down a Mumsnet hole!!!

One more gripe - he’s a real pragmatic matter of fact man. No element of seeming bothered by not seeing each other as ‘we can’t change it, sooner we all stick to it sooner life will return’. Would just be nice if he said ‘miss you!’

I’ve been staying at home, haven’t left for five days but I’ll need to shop for essentials tomorrow. I’ve still seen him because he’s come to mine after his shift for a meal and a comforting hug. In this uncertain time I think that’s perfectly acceptable.

PerfectlyImperfectx. Are you really this ignorant? Your police officer OH meets many people while at work. He comes to you after work for a comforting hug. So straight away, you too have been in contact with all the people he has met. You need to go to the shop tomorrow so everything you touch in the shop will also be touched by your OH and every person he has been in contact with. Really, just stop and think about this. Do you get it now?

And then you have the cheek to say this.

As long as people aren’t putting themselves and others at risk I can’t get worked up about it.

Well you are putting yourself and others at risk so I rather think you should be getting worked up. Put yourself at risk all you like. I really couldn’t give a shit. But you have absolutely no right to deliberately flout the rules and harm others. And by the way. Your police officer OH is a fucking disgrace to his profession. He’s supposed to be upholding the law, not breaking it. Do his superiors know what he’s doing?

In this uncertain time I think that’s perfectly acceptable

No it really isnt. Yet again a prime example of someone bending the rules to suit themselves. This attitude is what's going to drag this bloody situation on and on and on.

FFS. I can't believe how selfish and arrogant people are.

This. We know the posters who will be on here whining when the lockdown is extended, and even then they won't see that it is their own fault. So many "special" people here who think the rules are for others, not them!

@PerfectlyImperfectx so it's ok for the police to flounce the rules of the lockdown but God forbid a civilian did it. Psssh.

I give up. Why am I obeying the lockdown rules when even the police can't. One rule for them...

@PerfectlyImperfectx
That's got to be a deliberate bit of goading, right?

You didn't post that in all seriousness, surely.

@opticaldelusion

Exactly on point. It's so frustrating. Could not have put that better myself.

Remember that it's something you can review. If this lockdown is extended for many months, some couples might actually decide to become a single household for the duration. Obviously that's impossible for many but it's something to have a conversation about if people are really struggling whilst apart.

God forbid if you have children though... you'll meet the wrath of mumsnetters shrieking that you can't let a man move in until you've been together ten years...

There is a definite hierarchy of relationships on here. Marriages, but only first marriages (stepmothers are literally evil), then long-term cohabiting (don't you DARE call your fella a partner until he's been living with you at least two years though)... everything else is completely frivolous and the wise women of mumsnet will scoff and laugh at your insignificant relationship compared with their important and status-laden PROPER one.

Again @opticaldelusion totally agree with your whole post!

STFH
please.

Wow, I can't believe those of you on here who think it is ok to flout the rules....and I'm shocked that a police officer is flouting it. @PerfectlyImperfectx that is seriously out of order that you encourage this and also for someone of his standing to think the rules don't apply when they are given the capacity to fine people flouting the actual rules...I'm actually speechless. He is either a thick twat or you are a troll.

I live 2 hours away from my partner and we won't be seeing each other until this is over. For either of us it is isn't feasible to be moving in due to the work we both do. Why people can't just ride it out without being selfish fuckers, is beyond me!

Things like this make me want to cry. I’m an intensive care doctor, working exhausting shifts with my colleagues trying to save as many lives during this as possible. I live alone, away from my family who I miss terribly.

One person with coronavirus can infect 3 more on average and this can happen before you are symptomatic. Go ten layers up and that is 59,000 people infected. You may be visiting one person. They may just visit one other. They may travel and expose another couple...and so on and so on.

This isn’t up for debate, this is the science. Please just stay at home. Save lives by doing so. It really isn’t that hard in the grand scheme of things when we are battling against something that is infecting many and sadly killing people.

@countbackfromten

I can't begin to imagine how frustrated and upset some of these posts are making you feel. I'm just so sorry you have to read some of this shit!
Unfortunately some of these people won't see the stark reality until it is them, or one of their family members lying there in ITU on a ventilator.

Thanks @pinkmonkeybird - I am just about to have a nap before a 13 hour night shift. We are doing all we possibly can and it is so heartbreaking to see so many incredibly sick people and not having their families being able to visit is awful but it needs to happen to try and stop this.

I miss my parents, I would do anything for a cuddle with my mum right now but instead I live alone, go to work and come straight back home. I’m doing everything I can along with thousands of other staff. I just cannot implore people enough to listen to us and listen to the government. This is not a time for half measures and my huge thanks to each and every person who is listening and social distancing. You are all saving lives by staying in and I honesty appreciate it so much.

@countbackfromten
I cannot imagine how frustrating and upsetting this must be for you to read. There have been umpteen posts from frontline staff on here lately, urging people to stay at home - but it's not getting through, and I can't understand why.
I am utterly speechless at the pig-ignorant police officer, who thinks his desire for a meal and a comforting hug trumps other people's right to stay alive. He ought to know better, given that the police are now out in force, checking that the general public aren't making unnecessary journeys. But I'm guessing he must be special in some way, and the rules don't apply to him.

@perfectlyimperfectx

You should be ashamed of yourself and so should your partner.

As a PP said either you are both utterly selfish and ignorant or you're a troll.

Don't you think doctors and nurses who live alone but have partners elsewhere would love a cuddle more than anything after 12+ hour shifts saving people's lives and watching people in pain / dying?

And yet they are brave and kind and compassionate by staying home because they understand the rules and the impact flouting them has on other people.

A PP said it best:

Your police officer OH meets many people while at work. He comes to you after work for a comforting hug. So straight away, you too have been in contact with all the people he has met. You need to go to the shop tomorrow so everything you touch in the shop will also be touched by your OH and every person he has been in contact with. Really, just stop and think about this. Do you get it now?

Do you not understand that? Or do you just not care enough?

@countbackfromten thank you to you and all your colleagues for all you are doing. I feel like I should apologise for what I’ve started here, must be horrible for you to read some of the responses! For what it’s worth, my original post was because I couldn’t get my head around people not taking it seriously when my interpretation was lockdown is lockdown! I won’t be breaking any of the rules. Take care and thank you again

Sorry, feel this thread has left the door wide open for me to vent about my ex...

(And after saying we'd been mature and come to a good co-parenting solution on another thread too!)

So... seven days ago, myself and DS1 come down with a persistent cough and mild fever, I tell ex whilst I can't prove it's coronavirus I feel I can't chance it either. I tell her I'll have to go into quarantine. Our agreement was we would treat both our homes as a single household and quarantine together should it come to it.

So it had come to it. Ex's response: to pooh-pooh the symptoms as "just a cold" and not only not self-isolate, but also insist on still having her ex-OM/now boyfriend come and stay over for the weekend and play with DS1 before popping back to his own household where his kids come and stay over. Fairly sure ex is still popping over to his when I've got the kids too.

Then again, finding a loophole or acting like its one rule for her and another for everyone else, was pretty much the reason we broke up...

Countback thank you for all you and your colleagues are doing x