Can’t believe I did this

[DontKnowWhatToDo2019]

Not my usual username. Just called 101 because H got pissed, threw/smashed a load of stuff, and slapped me (lightly, and to be fair I then slapped him back), before he threw more stuff around.

I know the police have better things to do, and I know I’m not innocent here, and I know he’d be fine and extremely apologetic in the morning.

I just can’t believe it got to this.

[DontKnowWhatToDo2019]

Thanks for all the opinions, ALL of them, harsh and otherwise, I need to hear them.

No, he’s not coming back here. It’s difficult atm as he can’t go to his mums, but he’ll have to sort it out. He crossed the line, although I still feel like shit for accelerating it so much.

Helplines have been recommended, I’m looking into them, dogs are well, feet cleaned and disinfected in case they cut themselves on H’s smashed stuff. More angry that he frightened/didn’t give a feck about their injuries tbh.

Again, thank you all.

[DontKnowWhatToDo2019]

You are all awesome. Thank you, for understanding, advising, and giving me that kick up the ass.

I’m still gobsmacked it’s come to this out of seemingly nowhere.

[DontKnowWhatToDo2019]

@RUSU92 thank you.

[RUSU92]

I’m still gobsmacked it’s come to this out of seemingly nowhere

You say out of nowhere, but it happened once before. Do you think on some level you’ve altered your behaviour during that time trying not to “cause him” (it’s NOT your fault!) to act like that again?

We have a tendency to walk on eggshells around someone who has been volatile and they know it. It keeps us in our place.

I’ve been through something similar, called the police, and he actually admitted it was a turning point in his life - he had to totally change his mindset and behaviour, got counselling etc. It was a total shit show for a while with schools, children’s services, victim support etc all involved. Nightmare.

I feared that I’d totally blown it out of proportion - I’d just wanted him out of my house and he wouldn’t leave.

However, nobody had ever held him to account before for his aggression before and he’d got away with it at work, at home, in the car. It was a short sharp shock that has led to him dealing with life in a very different way.

It’s on your H now to deal with the fallout in whatever way he sees fit - he may be bitter and resentful that he got arrested, or he may realise that this was an appalling way to act and seek some help. Either way, it’s not on you to fix him, support him or help him through it. Your only job is to look after yourself as this will shake you up for quite some time. And your doggos of course. Feel free to PM if you want to talk x

[Dontletitbeyou]

It’s not your fault . You need to be prepared to put in the work regarding the drinking . If your DH is not prepared to do the same you need to go your own separate way . I know a few people where drink is a issue , it ain’t always very pretty .
You acknowledge that this is a issue , take the help that’s offered and make a better life for yourself

[latheritup]

How are you today OP?