Why is there always someone else?

[yoosushi]

I met a guy a year ago now.
We got on great and started seeing each other.
Then he told me he didn't want anything serious with anybody.
He told me that after he slept with someone else (I thought we were headed for a relationship)
One girl who he was friends with for years got back In touch with him and he slept with her and was texting her (whilst texting me and still slept with me)
Then she got sick of him not wanting to commit.
Then there was another random girl who he started messaging (still messaging me) then he stopped texting her.
Me and him had a couple more dates and at last I thought he's stopped being a player.
He slept with another random woman.
Once again he's get out of jail card was "we aren't official"
Then we stopped speaking as I'd had enough.
6 weeks later we've started texting again but now I've noticed another girl (different one) is obviously the latest one to add to the bundle.
What's going on here with him?
We get close ..he pulls back and hurts me
Rinse
Repeat

This really isn't difficult.
Men like to shag.
This guy isn't into you. At all.
Don't be his booty call.

Why are you doing this to yourself?

You know the cycle, so stop being a party to it. Dump him and find someone who wants to be monogamous.

He's ripping the piss out of you ... he is happy being single.. and having sex with whomever he wants... just like he told you .. he's been clear.. no commitment...

What's to understand ?

He's a serial shagger, he isn't into having a long-term monogamous relationship with anyone.

You are completely wasting your time on him. Sorry.

It's a smorgasbord of beautiful women online. Everyday Women are presenting themselves as models, self esteem is low due to constant pressure to look better and attract more nen/followers. Men are having all the cake.

OP.. find someone who cherishes you for you...

Why is there always someone else?

Errr, because he's not interested in an exclusive relationship with you.

That's why.

He thinks you’re easy and he thinks you have low self esteem/a lack of self respect, because you keep “waiting” for him when he’s made it clear that he doesn’t see you as relationship material. He’s openly dating several other women and you haven’t told him to do one yet?

Fwb is fine if both parties are on the same page, but you clearly have feelings and he doesn’t.

Then she got sick of him not wanting to commit.

Honestly, he likely has more respect for her for walking away, vs you still hanging around throughout all these “cycles” of other women. He must be thinking wtf is wrong with her for putting up with this? This in turn makes you less relationship material, if that makes sense.

So I should totally walk away?
Stop replying /texting him and just leave him to it

Everyday Women are presenting themselves as models, self esteem is low due to constant pressure to look better and attract more nen/followers. Men are having all the cake

^ interesting what famous alludes to. I think there is more self-hatred amongst women now, self-comparison, blah de blah, as so many women try to live up to some (conformist) ideal that rarely exists in reality.

I cant believe you are asking this.
Get some self esteem!

So I should totally walk away?
Stop replying /texting him and just leave him to it

Of course you should.

He's made it perfectly clear he doesn't want a relationship with you. He likes to fuck you occasionally as well as other people. It's been a year, he's not going to suddenly declare undying love.

So I should totally walk away? Stop replying /texting him and just leave him to it

Yes, of course!

And read these books:

Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden

OP - yes you should just walk away and stop replying to his texts.

I understand that you want to cling on to this 'relationship' but each day you let it continue you're getting deeper and deeper into being delusional about the relationship having long term prospects. Sorry if that sounds harsh x

So I should totally walk away? Stop replying /texting him and just leave him to it

Sweetheart! What else could you possibly do? Unless you want to drive yourself mad?

Hes literally told you to your face he doesn't want anything serious with you. What else does he need to say? Never mind the shagging around - hes been straight with you and you haven't taken him at his word. Surely you see you are doing this to yourself?

I can imagine you're hurting but you do also need to take responsibility here. He told you the score. Why haven't you believed him?

So I should totally walk away?

Of course not, don’t you want the excitement of never knowing where you stand and the thrill of damaging your sexual health with ‘Mr can’t keep in his pants’.

Why are some men like this? Some men are just dick led and there appears to be no shortage of women who will accept this behaviour.

You seem to think this man a has magical powers and or that you could be the one to change him.

He doesn’t want an exclusive relationship with you, which is his choice and absolutely fine.

What you do with that info is up to you.

He's made it crystal clear that he's not that into you for a serious relationship.

You are exposing yourself to STIs by staying with him. Just block him...no better time than during lockdown.

I know I've been stupid.
After we first met things were great.
I don't know why he got cold feet of getting together.

What's going on here with him?
What's going on with you? is the question you should be asking.
His feet have never been warm.

Get some self respect and ditch the tosser

He didn't get cold feet, that implies he wanted it too, and changed his mind .
He has said all along, no, not exclusive!
Every time you cling, he has to shake you off. He thinks you get it, and then you prove you don't.
Wish him well, thank him for the fun, and then delete all trace of him, and dont ever look back.

Block him. There is no need to tell him or have a chat. Don't stress yourself with that.
Just treat him as he treats you - you need to be nicer to yourself and not put up with this nonsense.
There is always someone else because he is always moving on and looking for someone else. Always. He lies when he talks to you because he can't be arsed with the row, not because he is horrified at letting you down.

Pity, but you have to try to move on.

The worst bit Is knowing he doesn't want to be with me.
Well he doesn't want to be with anybody but still feels like shit.

Do yourself a favour and get rid.