Do you believe in playing hard to get ?

[yopopo]

Well not so much hard to get but theres a guy who sometimes texts me a lot then other times we get into a habit where I'm texting him to start conversations.
Then I get fed up and just stop texting then he starts texting chasing me.
I'm bored of it.
Do you think I need to stop messaging him?
And let him miss me chasing ?

Sounds like your texting habits follow the same pattern as his?

If you're bored of it why would you keep doing it? You're obviously that that into him and I'd hazard a guess that he's not that into you.

Life is short.

What confuses me with him is sometimes he seems like he is into me.
Texting all the time/seeming interested
Then yesterday we were messaging (he messaged first yesterday)
Then I sent him a text ..
He read it and didn't reply but was sat on WhatsApp for a hour chatting to others but took a hour to reply to me.

Why bother? He sounds like a game-player and you'll be forever analysing his behaviour, trying to work out what it means when he does x, y or z. I'm sure he's "into you" only in the same way that he's doubtless into many other women, i.e. you're one of his options, he likes you well enough, but he's probably not anything like as invested in you as you seem to be in him.

Sounds like he likes the attention

Yeah I can imagine the days I'm not being spoke to much he will be speaking to others.

Bed time! I’m not being rude, both of you, together! And stop faffing about with messaging!

I don't play hard to get, I am hard to get.

Any idiot who does the 'hot and cold' on me gets dumped. I've waaaaay better things to do with my time than waste it on game-players - even in a lock-down situation.

Exactly ChristmasFluff, life's too short for game playing, communication is, imo and ime, the most important aspect of a relationship. If you can't communicate you are doomed from the start.

It’s interesting OP that when somebody suggested neither of you was into the other, you focused on whether he was into you. Are you into him? Do you actually give a monkey’s about him as a person, or do you just want to not be losing the game?

I am really into him but he has hurt me in the past.
I've told him how I feel but he isn't willing to give up playing around texting others etc
So I'm in this position where I settle for anything I can get.
When he has days where he texts me lots I'm so happy then he has a spell when he doesn't and I feel awful about it.
Waiting for him to want to settle for just me.

Omg grow up! I can't believe grown adults think and behave in such stupid, teenage like ways.

He doesn't like you. Stop being pathetic. Block him and move on.

"Settle for just me". Nooooo. Op, that sounds pitiful.

Op, you really need to gather your dignity and stop hanging out for this guy. If he's not dying to be with you, you need to fuck him off and take some time out to get yourself together. You deserve better than to be "settled for". Raise your bar.

You have to look after number one in this life OP and you are not doing that. He doesn’t have a golden penis and even if he did, it’s not yours. Delete his number, messages and SM and move on.

How old are you?

I don't think there's anything wrong with a bit of strategic scarcity in the beginning of a courtship, but this sounds extreme and a bit destructive.

I am really into him but he has hurt me in the past. I've told him how I feel but he isn't willing to give up playing around texting others etc So I'm in this position where I settle for anything I can get. When he has days where he texts me lots I'm so happy then he has a spell when he doesn't and I feel awful about it.Waiting for him to want to settle for just me.

This is one of the saddest things I've read on Mn. Drop this man like a hot turd, and work hard on your self-esteem and boundaries before you even contemplate entering even into another texting exchange with someone.

I don't play hard to get, I am hard to get.

Any idiot who does the 'hot and cold' on me gets dumped. I've waaaaay better things to do with my time than waste it on game-players - even in a lock-down situation.

And exactly this. I'm flabbergasted at the number of threads on here where the poster is worrying 'Ooh, does he like me?' and seem non-plussed when asked 'But do you like him?'

Fuck no. The hot and cold game gets them a pitcher of ice cold block. Drag yourself out from under the table and stop eating the scraps he throws you. He is low value.

Dick is abundant and low value. As they say

He's not that into you. Yeah, game playing might work for men who just like to chase. But then what? You'll have to keep this up for the rest of your life.
Move on and find someone who actually likes you.

The main question is, do you want a relationship with someone who 'sometimes seems to be into you'? If yes, chase him. If no, don't chase him.

*hint: if it's yes, work out why and sort that out prior to starting any new relationship.

Why do you want to be with someone who doesn't like you very much, isn't very nice to you and has made it clear you're a back up (if that tbh) not a priority?

Seriously, why?

Waiting for him to "settle" for you?

I hope you're young and naive and will move on from this way of thinking rapidly - life's too short for shit people!!

I used to date someone like this, it was infuriating. If I was interested and keen he'd back off, when I got fed up and backed off he'd suddenly come forward. Tbh op, if he was genuinely into you, he wouldn't be leaving you feeling like this and you wouldn't be confused. I'd call it a day and find someone who was into you.

Not at all but I do believe in being hard to get. Somebody who is always available has little currency.

no, but I do believe in being high value. Matthew Hussey talks about it a lot. You could also read Why Men Love Bitches - it's about not being too easy. (It's just about keeping boundaries). It could work for you. Then again, he may just be a tosser who is messing you around - in which case, you should just walk away. If he is causing you anxiety, vote with your feet.

I know a man who said about a woman "at least with X, I know she'll never leave me". He treated her dreadfully, cheating openly, leaving her, ghosting her, disrespecting her so vilely. She never left him. He knows she'll always take him back. Don't be that woman.