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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Facing lockdown WITHOUT your partner

46 replies

Satansgourd · 20/03/2020 22:40

So, the reverse of the threads based on being unhappy and forced to be together...

I work in the travel industry, and we have been put in lockdown at work. No going home, no visiting. It means I won’t get to see dp for ages really. I have the option of taking the unspecified time off unpaid, but could not afford that ‘indefinitely’, so I opt to stay at work.

I’m sure it will be fine, just wondered how many other people are facing separation at this time?

OP posts:
EmAndes · 20/03/2020 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleChoCho · 20/03/2020 23:30

Me too. DH is in Canada, I'm in UK. FaceTime is our only friend. Sad

Original poster
Satansgourd · 20/03/2020 23:35

Canada is so far away! But separation is separation and it’s not going to be easy. Not even able to plan something nice for ‘when this is over’ as when in the hell will that be?

So many unknowns

OP posts:
StillDumDeDumming · 20/03/2020 23:39

Me too. Partner in hospital long term (unrelated but very shit timing), dc with their dad and parents isolating. I feel alone but determined. I am talking to myself a lot though. Dp doesn’t understand either and doesn’t have enough communication skills for FaceTime or the phone. I have sent him photos and that will have to be enough.

Original poster
Satansgourd · 20/03/2020 23:44

I’m so sorry still. Especially hard times for you

OP posts:
StillDumDeDumming · 20/03/2020 23:46

No work colleagues either as I’m off sick. Actually I’m very alone and I need to keep well just in case they discharge dp to me in a hurry.

StillDumDeDumming · 20/03/2020 23:48

@Satansgourd thank you- it is rough. He had a massive brain haemorrhage mid Feb. He’s doing so well and ordinarily we’d be celebrating his recovery so far after a very very shaky start. But this virus is certainly testing us. I just can’t have him think I’ve forgotten him x

probablysue · 20/03/2020 23:51

You’re locked in at work!! How can that be right? Where do you sleep?!? What would happen if you had kids? What’s happening to your home? What if this goes on for 6 months. Do you stay at work for that long. I can’t even imagine what job it is that you do that would require this!!

stairway · 20/03/2020 23:53

My partner is trapped abroad atm , no sign of any rescue flights. Stilldumdedumming I work on a stroke ward so I have an idea of what you and your partner are going through.

TheSpottedZebra · 20/03/2020 23:56

OP what do you do for work? Is it something like air traffic control where a bunch need to be kept safe so as to keep the skies safe?

Original poster
Satansgourd · 20/03/2020 23:59

still I’m here if you want to chat... I’m surrounded by people constantly but feel for your loneliness. You’ve been through a tough time

OP posts:
Original poster
Satansgourd · 21/03/2020 00:04

probably I do have children and a home but they are taken care of. I sleep at work, that’s not an issue

zebra not anything nearly as important as that. We’re on lockdown as our boss doesn’t want infection in the environment !

OP posts:
itmusthavebeencoffee · 21/03/2020 01:13

My partner has to keep working and therefore coming into contact with people on a daily basis and I need to look after vulnerable family members, so have had to temporarily move back to my hometown to isolate with/care for them. We have been apart for a month so far and won't be able to see each other until his work initiates their WFH policy and he has then done 2 weeks quarantine, so goodness knows when that will be Sad

That being said, I know others are in much, much worse positions. I just really miss him, and it's my birthday next week!

firesong · 21/03/2020 01:20

Yes. I can't decide what to do. We're a couple of hours' drive from each other and he's still working whereas I am now wfh with my children. I'm supposed to visit him this weekend, but I don't think idea, I'm taking these measures seriously..??

Original poster
Satansgourd · 21/03/2020 01:29

I don’t want to catch this virus. And I certainly don’t want to pass it on either. It seems silly missing someone when there are more serious consequences for others. But I do!

OP posts:
LittleChoCho · 21/03/2020 12:00

@StillDumDeDumming I'm so sorry that must be very hard for you. The reason I'm in the UK is my dad had a stroke, but now I can't go and visit him anyway! I fear him dying alone, thinking we've forgotten him so I understand how you feel. Sending you strength and DaffodilDaffodilDaffodil

@Satansgourd Of course people have it worse but I still think it's ok for us to really miss our OH and not feel guilty about it. Some of the posters on MN seem to think it's a hardship competition when really it's a shit situation for everyone! I'm crying every day, but knowing there are others in similar boats means a lot - so thanks for this thread x

trappedsincesundaymorn · 21/03/2020 12:40

I'm the same. DP is in a high risk group and I have to still go to work as they won't pay me for the 12 weeks DP has to be isolated and we only have a small 1 bedroom house. Today he moved out to spend the next 3 months with his elderly dad who lives alone. Sad

Original poster
Satansgourd · 21/03/2020 12:58

Thanks for the kind words little. So sorry for you trapped. Such awful situations. I’m determined to find a project to throw myself into in a effort not to waste this time. Looking for that elusive ‘second income’ is right at the top of the list...Hmm

OP posts:
Livingthecovidaloca · 21/03/2020 13:03

DH’s company considering a charter flight to bring them home if necessary. But until that point he’ll keep on working. We’re both worried about his job if he can’t get back once he’s home.
DC and I will be fine on our own... unless home schooling kills me!

forrasee · 21/03/2020 13:07

Me Sad we're in the same city but now can't see each other. I live alone and just want to snuggle up with him.

nicknamehelp · 21/03/2020 13:10

in the same boat dh home with ds me in isolation ward with dd ( not covid 19 related) its hard but we've been doing this for weeks now due to dd treatment we swop once a week so can spend time with other dc but apart from medical staff we see no one in real life. For some like us social isolating has long been away of life.

Original poster
Satansgourd · 21/03/2020 13:18

What an awful situation for you nickname. I’m so sorry

OP posts:
StillDumDeDumming · 21/03/2020 13:22

Thank you everyone for your kind words. @LittleChoCho that is so hard. My heart goes out to you.

My partner is recovering despite them twice saying we’d lose him. I think if he could safely transfer bed to chair they’d have him at home for isolation- which I can do. His recovery has been described by doctors as remarkable! This is what is keeping me strong. I must stay ok, healthy and organised for him

Original poster
Satansgourd · 21/03/2020 14:03

still is that likely to happen?

OP posts:
stella47 · 21/03/2020 14:35

DP and I live separately (30 miles apart). Both NHS healthcare in different settings. I've been at work this week, lots of contacts; he's been on leave. We'd normally see each other several times a week, stay over at weekends.
We're not seeing each other as I could potentially be non-symptomatic spreading, and if I transferred it to him then he'd spread at his work.
We're considering meeting in open air for a walk, but I'm wondering if psychologically that's harder?

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