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Original poster

Gave him another chance ..pointless wasn't it?

39 replies

ooooere · 20/03/2020 08:14

I was seeing someone and he didn't treat me very well,I put up with it but then finally thought "screw this"
He would pick and choose when he could be bothered with me.
So I started moving on,and actually was ok without worrying about him.
Then after a month we started speaking again.
I thought he was sorry,he realised he was on to a good thing with me etc
At first he was giving me lots of attention etc
Now 5 weeks later back to normal
Him picking and choosing when he wants to speak,ignoring me when he wants etc
Today he's out with his friends for a stag do.
He's drinking already..so I won't hear a peep all day from him.
I can't be arsed
I know I deserve more than this
Yet here I am ..checking for texts from him.
Would you bother?
When you know he's a waster?

OP posts:
YeahRiiiiight · 20/03/2020 08:17

He’s dicked you around constantly and now, in the middle of a pandemic, he’s out on a stag do getting pissed at 8am?

He sounds like a prick.

Why not just block and delete today and save yourself a world of headache?

Techway · 20/03/2020 08:18

Yes a waster..where are you that he is drinking at 8am in the morning?

Original poster
ooooere · 20/03/2020 08:19

@YeahRiiiiight well that's my point too.
My dad is 77,what if he catches it but has zero symptoms and gives it to me and I give it to my dad.
He's a idiot.
He doesn't get it.

OP posts:
Original poster
ooooere · 20/03/2020 08:20

@Techway we don't live together.
He is in his own house drinking.

OP posts:
isthismylifenow · 20/03/2020 08:20

No, I would not bother.

He was most likely more upset that you were moving on without him, hence the sudden urge 'to change'.

He is out drinking at 8am??

I really do not think he is worth this angst OP. Try to distract yourself with something else (hard I know but essential).

This is not going to get better.

Original poster
ooooere · 20/03/2020 08:22

I don't think he liked that I wasn't chasing him.
Then he started messaging me because he wanted me to give him the attention again etc.
Now he knows he can treat me like rubbish and I'm still around ..he is back to normal

OP posts:
Techway · 20/03/2020 08:24

What you need to understand is that he does get it...just chooses to act differently.

It is a choice he makes as to who he prioritises. Sometimes that might be you, if it suits him, but your needs are not important to him.

Once you "get it" your decision to leave is easier.

isthismylifenow · 20/03/2020 08:25

Send him a message and tell him that is is over (one good thing about isolating is that there is no need to do it in person)

Then block him.

Otherwise there will just be back and forth communication of him trying to talk you around.

lifeisgoodmostofthetime · 20/03/2020 08:27

You clearly really like him and he sees that so he thinks it's ok to mess you about and you'll take it. I know it is hard to let go but looks like you will have to. Start as you mean to go on and surely this isn't the future you want? It's better to be alone than with an idiotic guy like him. Good luck

Original poster
ooooere · 20/03/2020 08:41

Sometimes it feels like I just get his attention when he has nothing else to do.
When he's out with his friends,he doesn't want to know me.

OP posts:
Greenandpleasanter · 20/03/2020 08:53

Sometimes it feels like I just get his attention when he has nothing else to do

It feels like that because that's exactly how it is! Listen to your feelings. Your mind is trying to talk you out of it because you like him. But imagine being married to him/maybe having kids and being ill and him prioritising his mates/hobby/nights out. Because he always will. He's selfish enough to go drinking during a pandemic, and drinking in the morning anyway is bleurgh.

He won't change, he really won't. He'll only be nice to you for long enough to reel you back in. You're worth much more than that.

Poppygirl96 · 20/03/2020 09:16

Please move on, if you don’t you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. It seems like this one person you have really fallen hard for. If he wants to he will make the effort and you can’t force someone to change. Block his number, get dressed up and go out with your friends and enjoy your self and don’t think about him the whole night. There is someone else out there who will treat you like a queen! He will be miserable and want you back but it will be too late. You just have to find that confidence within yourself to not need his attention. That’s what will stand you apart. Good luck OP xx

lowlandLucky · 20/03/2020 09:17

He is sitting in his house drinking at 8am ! Wow what a catch, my you would have a great life with him.. not. Get rid and dont look back

RestaurantoffBroadway · 20/03/2020 09:21

The drinking with friends, instead of isolating, would be enough for me. Some of us are making really big sacrifices to protect each other. He's just a dick.

Dontletitbeyou · 20/03/2020 09:55

When you weren’t chasing him , you were a challenge . That is irresistible to lots of men ,(and women ) they love a challenge . Personally I prefer an adult relationship , where I don’t have to play games
Drinking at 8 am ,especially when he should be isolating himself , that says it all !! Like you say , what if he gets it , gives it to you , and you give it to you Dad . He’s a selfish bastard and he wont change
You moved on before , you can do it again . LTB

AnyFucker · 20/03/2020 10:00

It is generally advisable to not tolerate being treated like shit the 1st time oit happens, so yeah it was pointless. Sorry. Move on now and look after you and your own.

NoMoreDickheads · 20/03/2020 10:08

^Would you bother?
When you know he's a waster?^

I like to think I wouldn't. You deserve better, I also wouldn't be surprised if he has a drink problem. And he's putting you and your loved one's lives at risk.

Go no contact for your health, in every way

probablysue · 20/03/2020 10:12

I wouldn’t put up with this and neither should you. The world is currently going to shit. If you died tomorrow would you be happy to look back on your life and this is the guy you spent your last days with? Really? Or do you maybe maybe think there’s somebody out there in this country of 60 million people who can treat you better than this? There are millions of potential partners out there. What are you doing? Just block him. Ignore. Once this corona crisis is over get out there and start dating decent family orientated guys.

probablysue · 20/03/2020 10:13

Oh and definitely don’t have physical contact with him for the next 14 days or for 14 days anytime he’s out of the house. He’s probably infected by now. Worth losing your life over? Nope.

VettiyaIruken · 20/03/2020 10:13

God no I would not bother with him.

ChristmasFluff · 20/03/2020 10:27

Well you gave him a chance and he has now proved he is a waste of space. You have learned something valuable - he is not a good bet as a life partner.

It was only pointless if you do nothing with this learning and carry on having anything to do with him.

fuzzymoon · 20/03/2020 10:42

I hope you've ended the relationship. Why would you want to be with him ?

Closetbeanmuncher · 20/03/2020 13:10

Sometimes it feels like I just get his attention when he has nothing else to do.
When he's out with his friends,he doesn't want to know me

The shitty dynamic of this relationship has already been established. Sack it off and work on your self esteem.

SybilWrites · 20/03/2020 14:56

He sounds like an utter loser drinking at 8am in the morning anyway

Don't be the fall back girl - he knows he can treat you badly, and you'll take it and all he has to do is say sorry. You are worth more.

Original poster
ooooere · 20/03/2020 15:00

I think the end has arrived.
He's just text saying they've got a hotel in Newcastle instead of travelling home (only 20 mins).
About 30 of them already drunk (since 8am)
And here's me sat in the house on my own like a idiot.
Standard

OP posts:
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