Unexpected long term house guests

[UnexpectedHouseGuests]

This may be long and I have tried to anonymise and cut back to the basics, as it would be outing to anyone who knows me. Regular user, name changed to separate from previous posts....

I have a family member, their partner and their baby living with us. It was meant to be for about 8 weeks from just before the baby was born, until the baby was old enough to get a passport, then they were meant to be moving to another country.

For a variety of valid reasons, it ended up that they could not move overseas and have now been with us for nearly 4 months already. They were going to move to a UK rental in the next few weeks. But, with CV, it looks like their income is going to dry up, so they won't be able to afford it, even if they could go and look for a place.

So, they are here long term. I know this is the right thing to do, to give them stability and a roof over their heads etc, but I am struggling mentally. I had prepared myself for 4 months, knowing their projected 8 weeks was probably unrealistic, but an unlimited timeframe, with an increasing financial burden, as their income dries up...

I work full time in a permanently home based role and am not used to having lots of others around. I now have the three of them here all day every day, causing distraction and chaos. They are not tidy or organised people at the best of times, now with a baby they are worse. There is stuff EVERYWHERE. They change nappies on the kitchen table, while complaining about how unhygienic my pets are. Many little things about how they fail to look after my home are beginning to grate, as they become increasingly settled.

I have two school age children who will also be at home from Friday. DH is still having to go to work and will do for the foreseeable future, so I will be working and schooling, like many others.

They are helping with cooking for us all, but have very different tastes to my DC, so every meal has become a battleground.

I just feel emotionally exhausted by the whole thing. I don't know what I want from this thread other than to get it off my chest. And ask if anyone has any tips on how to cope with several more months of this.

Yes a sit down meeting
Use the fan
Now everyone is at home everyone needs to be much tidier, all your stuff in your rooms.
Nappy changing in your rooms as the kids don't like it...
Set up a cooking rota, menu agreed before by all.
I think they need to either buy their own food or pay half to the shopping. Remember they'd have to be eating if they'd gotten home.

Good luck

They are certainly costing more in terms of your TME: time, money and effort.

Your DH is currently working from 6.30am - 10.00pm so is hardly there at present. You are not seeing much of him and nor are your children.

I sincerely hope that your DH is not out and working all these hours because life at home with this couple who are living in your home is becoming intolerable for him too.

Your house = your rules. You are doing the favour after all so they need to fit in with you and follow the house rules. For example if they don’t like what you’re making for dinner then they make their own. As my mum would say it’s not a hotel. If they don’t like it, then they know where the door is

The changing baby on the table is grim

@MNHQ I didn't swear at anyone. I told them to F*off to AIBU. This place has changed and not for the better. I wrote a long response and lost it, and I cannot be bothered to re-write it. I started this thread for support in a stressful situation, but sadly it has attracted the vultures who just want to create a pile-on. They do not deserve my time and energy.

Op, the truth is that these people will not leave. Why should they?
They have a nice bedroom with an en-suite, their own personal living space, food etc.
They would be foolish to leave.
The problem is that one of these days you are going to blow up, this will probably be soon as your dcs will be at home too so there will be added pressure. The fact that you are posting on MN for support indicates that you are at the end of your tether.
You need to talk to them about ground rules and their plans moving forward.