Should I message him now in corona

[lovedays2020]

Hello will try and keep this very brief - my ex broke up with me last summer. We dated for a year. I was pretty distraught so was he. 2 months later he contacted me, wanted to be friends, started messaging all the time. I soon realised I couldn’t do it and told him this that I still loved him. He looked and sounded incredibly upset about the situation but was clear he didn’t want to get back together. I said that was fine but I would have to block him on everything and he could email me if he needed to get in contact.

Since then I’ve not heard from him. It’s been about 3 months. I wondered whether I should message him to see if his dad is ok. Is this a stupid idea? His dad was old and had some breathing difficulties. I don’t want to make his life difficult or to upset him if hearing from me would cause that.

I’ve been wondering if I should for a few days. But maybe the answer is obvious.

Yes it is obvious.

You left this person behind and cut them from your life. You don’t need to contact him or express concern about his dad. He’s not your friend or part of your life.

Don't do it.

Continue to block and ignore him

Oh really. I thought maybe now was the time to show compassion. But maybe I’m in la la land

I'm going to go against the grain, you don't have to get back together just because you have messaged him, but a bit of compassion is so important right now. Of you want to then do it

We actually cross posted there op, but we both used the same word- compassion--GO FOR IT!

No don't. He will have other friends and family to check he and his dad are ok. You are dragging something out that isn't going anywhere.

It's not compassion, it's selfishness on your part. If an ex said s/he wanted to block me and left the ball in my court to contact him/her, the last thing I would want is for him/her to contact me! You may be coming from a good place but what you're really doing is making it all about you.

You are just looking for an excuse to get back in contact. Don’t dress it up as compassion.

Think it depends if you can cope with response? these are difficult times and can make you feel vulnerable. It is showing him you care but he has made it clear he doesnt want a relationship. You'll have to go through the process of no contact again. Is it worth it? what are you hoping to gain?

Compassion to get back in touch under the guise of a friend when you do not want to be friends? Nah. It isn't. Stop kidding yourself. Would just be messing him about. He doesn't have anything to do with you anymore, stick to your decision and put hi out if your mind for good.

No I wouldn't message him. If he wanted to be in touch with you over coronavirus and his dad then he would be.

No don't

You are looking for an excuse to contact him

Just don't

I really wouldn’t.

No.

How many other people that you have lost touch with are you planning to text to see if their parents are ok???

If the answer is none then do not contact this guy.

If you’re contacting everyone to check on them and their families then crack on.

Op, we both know that his dad is an excuse. You want to see if he's changed his mind about dating you. He hasn't or he would have been in contact you. Nothing would've stopped him. Don't do it. Let sleeping dogs lie and don't pretend to be his friend hoping it's going to turn into something more. It won't.

No!

No. You are not friends.

Ok I think you are all right. My rationale back when I went no contact was that if I wanted to be with someone who wanted to be with me not someone looking for something half hearted or using me as an emotional fallback.

I have been wondering about his dad but it isn’t good enough and the truth is I left the ball in his court that if he ever wanted to really speak to me again he could email me. He knows this and he hasn’t got in touch nor wondered about mum I guess.

I’ve been thinking for a few day’s about this and then this afternoon a female ex friend I’ve had nothing to do with for a couple of years got in touch effectively saying she wanted to say hello and asking if my family were ok. She was an awful friend and whilst I appreciated the message and thanked her I was quite final in it because I don’t want to resurrect that friendship but it made me reconsider this.

Anyway what’s done is done I guess! I’m not sure I could cope with the response either way from him so yes maybe best to leave it In the past. If he loved me and wanted to be with me he would...

There's going to be lots of people in self isolation contacting exes. No. Read a book or volunteer to do some shopping for the over 70s

I wouldn't. I contacted an ex this week to see how how he was, I haven't spoken to or seen him for three months. He was the first guy I dated after my unhappy marriage ended. He was very polite but cool and it was clear he wasn't happy to hear from me. I feel a bit stupid for doing it as I was hoping that he had missed me but he obviously hasn't, this hurts as I still think about him a lot. Sometimes I think it's best to leave things in the past.

Always remember:-

No contact = no new HURTS

No way. His dad is an excuse. I know it's hard but no.

Sigh. Yes you’re all right. There will be no love in the time of coronavirus surely.