Not sure if I’m overreacting...

[Rapunzel25]

My boyfriend and I were watching a tv show the other day. On the show a person was being killed by someone else, my boyfriend then turns to me and says ‘that’s what will happen to you if you don’t obey me’. I was really freaked out by what I said, but he said he was just joking and that I take everything so seriously.

I will admit I can be sensitive at times, but I just would never dream of saying that to someone?

No normal loving friend would ever say this to anyone! You are not overreacting and I would seriously consider all aspects of your relationship.

It would make me think really hard about the relationship. It's a really messed up thing to say

If anything here you have underreacted by remaining with him.

Run far and fast away from him now. Plan your exit from this now before he further sinks his claws into you. This is yet another example from him of his controlling i.e abusive behaviour towards you and that was very much a veiled threat from him. You minimise and or ignore the red flags re him here at your emotional peril.

And were you also the poster who wanted to volunteer abroad and he was not happy about you doing that?.

Not remotely normal. He's testing your boundaries. Run.

Wtaf

Echoing everyone else.... run for the hills!

Yuck
I’d never see someone who said that about me in the same way again.
I would ditch him

You've had several instances of things that concern you about him and you are clearly uncertain about this relationship. Use this as a very reasonable prompt to get yourself out, now, before you are trapped.

Thank you all for your replies, I’m going to try and get things ready to leave. I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow and I’ll try and come up with a safe plan as I’m quite scared. Thank you all xx

You shouldn’t feel scared in a relationship.
Fingers crossed it works out for you OP

Not in any way a normal comment, who would even joke about something like that.

It goes to show what's going through his head/how he thinks.

Noone normal would even be thinking like that in order to say it.

That's what is called a psychopathic tell. Where a sinister intent leaks out. I don't mean to sound dramatic. There are many people out there who have psychopathic traits. They have no empathy. How caring and compassionate is he?

Echo above, get out OP.

He has threatened you.

Take it very seriously.

Get yourself safe.

Are you being completely honest with your therapist? Or have you just started therapy? I ask because this is your third question about your controlling and psychopathic BF. Surely if you told your therapist all you are telling us, the therapist would advise you to end the relationship for your own safety and happiness?

Really hoping that you get out of the relationship immediately. Your BF sounds dangerous and sick in the head. Strength and resolve to you.

He isn't joking
Can you call women's aid for some advice?

Omg people, relax, my husband and I always make comments like this to each other - even on a walk I would say to him "this would be a good place to bury your body" he has never taken it seriously and I have never meant it - it is a joke! People need to calm the f**k down

Leaving is the right decision. You need to do so safely though. Do you have any support?

mamaoffourdc oh do shut up. What a ridiculous statement to make. Most people do not joke about killing their partner if they don't obey. It's a way to control them through fear.

OP, run. Now!

@mamaoffourdc this is the exact type of things me and DH say to each other too.

@mamaoffourdc

Agree generally, me and DH say stuff like this all the time , we’re messing about (OBVIOUSLY)

However , OP seems genuinely scared so that’s a different thing.

Sounds like a joke to me..

Ask him if it's really that funny. Seeing as death due to domestic violence is biggest killer of women 25-49. I would advise dumping him too. For above reason. All women seriously hurt find it escalates oh so gradually. So he could be a risk, and what man is worth that? My husband is a total laugh, but in 22 years has simply NEVER joked about men hurting women. Because it ain't funny

I am not taking a pop at those couples who do joke like that, BUT people, have you known abused women? I am guessing, maybe not? Could you think about maybe stopping those jokes especially around any kids you have?

omg this is crazy, she hasnt explained any details about her boyfriend. he might be a joking type that this is his sense of humour. i didnt see anything wrong with the comment, seemed like a joke to me.
you are ALL being way over sensitive.
he hasn't hurt her he made a silly little joke whilst watching a film!

@mamaoffourdc I agree. We often joke like that..just this morning- "I'll poison your coffee next time you turn the tap on downstairs when I'm in the shower" he shouts down... half laughing half squeaking from the fact the waters gone freezing cold because I've turned the downstairs tap on.