Not sure if I’m overreacting...

[Rapunzel25]

My boyfriend and I were watching a tv show the other day. On the show a person was being killed by someone else, my boyfriend then turns to me and says ‘that’s what will happen to you if you don’t obey me’. I was really freaked out by what I said, but he said he was just joking and that I take everything so seriously.

I will admit I can be sensitive at times, but I just would never dream of saying that to someone?

Taken as an isolated incident no one can judge whether bf has a silly sense of humour, or whether he is really a bit of a psycho.

So talk of immediate leaving is rather premature🤷🏻‍♀️

He may be lovely, kind supportive, good provider and 101 other good traits, and because he makes a silly remark, he's dumped?

Alternatively he may have serious controlling habits, secretive, a liar and this comment fits with a serious abuser.

If this is a one off then I'd say he was joking. This is someone me and my dh would say but we joke about quite a few things that others may not get.
If this isn't the first time he has said something or done something and your in therapy for it then you need to make the decision that makes you safe

I would say he was joking too.

Completely depends on lots of things. How he is generally. If you joke about a lot.

DH and I would joke about stuff like that. But it’s obvious joking and usually with other people around. Not just as we are watching tv.

All those saying he was joking, do you think OP is so thick that she couldn’t possibly understand when her own boyfriend is joking? It’s incredibly patronising and dangerous to be so dismissive.

Why have we all gone so serious? A joke cant be a joke anymore?

Gosh some of these replies are dramatic is there some backstory on OPs previous posts I'm missing?

It's so hard to say from the single post. Did he keep a completely straight and serious face whilst sharpening a knife when he said it? Did he stare you down?
Or did he do it with a nudge nudge wink wink kind of attitude ?

Does he have form for joking or for underhand threats?

Me and DP joke about stuff like that. Yesterday I joked I was going to close the loft hatch whilst he was up there until he learned his lesson because he left the hairdryer cable trailing accross the floor for me to trip on ..again! He found it hilarious.

Tbh I don’t trust my own judgement, which I guess is why I’m here looking for outside opinions on what this is. There have been comments about which have always been ‘jokes’ when I’ve objected to them. I guess at best this is a mismatch in humour.

Gosh some of these replies are dramatic is there some backstory on OPs previous posts I'm missing?

Yes, which several posters have already pointed out.

I would definitely of taken this as a joke!

It could just be a joke but if it made you feel uneasy, leave.

It's a bit weird if it's out of the blue.

I say stupid shit like this to my other half but I've known her over 20 years, would never say or do anything to harm her and it genuinely is just arsing about. She says similar.

Does he normally have a dark sense of humour?
My husband and I joke like this all the time!

No, it doesn't seem like you're overreacting. I remember your volunteer post too. He's not a nice man.

I'd suggest reading the following:
Why Does He Do That? to find out what type of abusive bloke he is

The Gift of Fear to figure how post your gut instinct twerking your to leave. Do you dream about escaping? That's a sign...

How He Gets into your m head? To see why he chose your as his girlfriend. Your referred to yourself as a doormat. He chose you on purpose!!!! For all the reasons you know about yourself.

Get out Now.

My DH once said to me, whilst watching a crime documentary, "if you ever leave me, I'll kill you, cut you up into tiny little pieces, and put you in a bath full of acid".

I thought it was funny, and quite creative, but it was in context with what we were watching, and in keeping with my sense of humour. I think you can usually tell when something is wrong. If you can't, perhaps you're not in the right headspace at the moment? Take a break from him and try to clear your thoughts so that you can reassess.

But no, I'd not say what he said was a problem, unless you feel that it is. If you do, that's that. You don't have to justify how you feel.

Jesus me and my husband say this shit all the time to each other! We're obviously joking, neither of us takes it seriously! He's probably only winding you up...

Op Trust your gut. You know what feels right for you, you are clearly feeling uneasy. Also as PPs have said you've posted about him before so obviously having doubts about him. Like I say trust your first instinct