Hello everyone .
I wonder if anyone could help .
I have serious concerns a friend of mine is in a coercive relationship.
There are many signs present , things that have been said and possible harm that’s come of coercive control .
She is trapped , and scared it is also to scared to do anything ...
Two children are involved in their relationship.
He has something on her phone that notifies him of messages , calls and emails she receives .
He disciplines her and threatens her often with ‘ punishment ‘.
On several concerning occasions she has been admitted to hospital for several injuries , broken wrist, ankle, ribs .he has also been present at every single doctors / hospital appointment .
He controls her every move , times how long it takes her to go to the shops and back, knows exactly where she is , rings and messages several times to check her whereabouts and skype videos calls to make sure no one else is around her.
He limits her access to friends.
He exercises control over money, running the household under his ideologies.
He is supremely rude to her at times.
He views controls her social media,
I’m am truly scared for her.
However if I was to call the police I know that she would not admit to any abuse because he has threatened her with never seeing the two children again.
He has said to her several times that of ever she wanted to leave he would make sure if it was the last thing on earth that she would never ever see or find the children again.
This I know is emotional blackmail, however her children mean more to her than getting out of this situation .
From asking a few select people I know , the guy has previous form for abusing and controlling previous partners. Those previous partners left quite soon , however she has been with him now for about 8/9 years, the children are a little younger than 7 years old each.
On one occasion she had asked me “is this all there is to my life now?”
I asked what she meant , but she replied with a sense of only providing a purpose to him , she felt she was losing out on life because of the restraints he enforces on her.
She feels she has to abide by his terms or lose everything and that no one would believe any different.
Can anyone help please ?
She is someone I know very well .
How can I deal with this knowledge?
She is constantly looking over her shoulder, like she’s nervous he’ll walk around the corner and either catch her having a quick cigarette or that she shouldn’t be out the house.
She once said that if she was to leave she’d be out on the streets without her kids and be the worst person in everyone else’s eyes.
She is too scared to leave although she won’t admit it.
She quoted him as being exceptionally childlike when he looses his temper, I’ve heard him argue with her and he acts like a spoilt brat and throws his fists around in anger.
She is to me someone exceptionally special, and someone I care more about than she believes because he has messed with her head never to trust anyone but him.
I’m lost :-(
How can I help my dear friend without upsetting her