He's just in it for the sex isn't he?

[Louise000000]

Seeing a new man for 5 months now and due to my situation with just separating from my husband I last summer, the majority of our dates took place at each others houses.
Now I'm suggesting going out places or away for a night and he never seems interested. He doesn't ask me any questions about myself, he's very closed emotionally so hasn't said how he feels about me without me prompting him, He's very enthusiastic about the sex and says it's the best he's ever had etc am I being a mug here? He just wants fwb right?

Sounds like it's going nowhere. I'm struggling to see what you're getting out of the relationship. You deserve more surely?

I am too thinking about it now. I think the novelty of someone new and different to exh was making it exciting and now its a bit dull!

It sounds so boring. Is this what you want?

You deserve much more than this. Imagine a lifetime with a man who showed absolutely no interest in you unless you were in bed with him.

If he only wants fwb and you want a relationship then you have incompatible expectations, the problem is that he knows that you want a relationship and he's trying to pretend that he does too in order to get what he wants.
Maybe just ask him straight?

He works away and he's always so keen with texting, I'm starting to think I'm just something to get him through the nights he's working away and then he gets a shag on the days he's back!

If its fwb I'm happy with that, keep it casual and we do have good sex. Then the texting is very gf/bf- ish which I don't get.

If it's FWB then you need to keep control of that. Don't let it be his decision. I just wonder why you want to see him more often when he doesn't show any interest in you?

Don't have sex with him for a while and see what happens 🤷‍♀️

He does seem interested as we talk daily and when he's back home he is keen to come over but I think it's the sex he's keen on rather than me and this weekend has just got me thinking that! The whole time I just assumed he was emotionally guarded and needed time etc etc

Or don't waste your time, and find someone that wants to do the things you want to do.

Men telling you you're really good at sex, is their way of making sure you keep having sex with them. It always amuses me on here when people start threads about things you are good at, loads of people will be on to say they are good at sex

Don't lower your expectations to fwb when you wanted a relationship. If all he has to do is send a few texts and come round for a shag for the cost of s bottle of plonk. Know your worth and you are worth better

Do you want a relationship or are you happy just to be his fuck buddy ?

You can always keep going with the fwb situation but be on the lookout for a person who is relationship material
you can terminate the fwb situation when/if you find a man who wants the kind of relationship that you do?

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion I've not started a thread to boast at how good I am at sex? I'm explaining that he is enthusiastic and complimentary about the sex only!

@UYScuti was thinking the same!

@iminaglasscaseofemotion
I used to get told I was really good at cleaning the bathroom ha!

@Louise000000
Hey lovely. I'm glad you're having some fun after your seperation! I guess instead of asking what you think he wants, work out what you want, and then go from there :) xxx

Thank you kind potato.
I know I'm a people pleaser so I actually need to work out what I want first! X

Don't worry OP, I didn't mean this thread. I realise that's not what you are doing.

I had a very similar experience recently op but with the added complication of ex still living here so it was me always going to his.

He blamed all of his “psycho ex’s for his cautious ways” and his “barriers” but was keen to refer to me as his gf, just not on social media and rarely went out with me!

TMI- he loved bj’s but never once gave me oral. I am super clean and know that wasn’t the reason and he loved sex but was such a selfish person. He was also mean with money.

After 3 months I had enough and ended it. Would rather be on my own than feel used.
He was shocked. Not used to being dumped I suppose. I’ve never looked back. He still mesages me looking for a way in but I’m done. Sad thing is I really fell for him in a big way and he knew it but my self respect was worth more to me.
Good luck

Cautious capricorn I've totally fallen for this guy too but he made a joke when I said it and it's never been mentioned since.
It's frustrating but I just left a marriage which was years of hum drum and I don't want another relationship to be the same, sitting in, not making exciting plans etc
Did you never ask him about the oral thing?

Is he in a similar situation to you - had a recent breakup after a long term relationship? Does he have commitments like children etc?

No he's been single for years and no kids, only been in one semi serious relationship when they lived together for a few years