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Original poster

When internet dating, do you like to...

47 replies

TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 10/03/2020 20:38

...chat on the phone with them before meeting?

I have been in touch with a guy online dating, and he has just asked if I would like to chat on the phone, and my honest answer? I’d rather boil my head! Been on dates with about 5 guys and this is the first one who has suggested talking before meeting up!

Now, I am a very chatty gregarious person, but I think the phone tells you very little about a person... I want to see what he SMELLS like Grin

Am I normal? Confused

OP posts:
Babooshkar · 10/03/2020 20:42

I would definitely have a call, I wish this was more the norm as it would put me more at ease before a date (or give me a chance to sack it off if they seemed dull, arrogant, had an annoying voice..) Grin

Original poster
TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 10/03/2020 20:46

Can I feasibly say ‘No, no I don’t want to chat on the phone?’

I am now imagining him to be the super nervous cautious type!

OP posts:
Notcoolmum · 10/03/2020 20:49

I HATE phone calls!

Tequilamockinbird · 10/03/2020 20:50

I'm not internet dating (happily married), but if I was, I'd want to talk on the phone first. Just to check he didn't have a squeaky, annoying, Joe Pasquale type voice Blush

Asmuchuseas · 10/03/2020 20:51

A guy on OLD once wanted to speak to me and it freaked me out. I politely refused.

Before I met up with my now DP he said he was going to call me to arrange our date. I didn't answer on the first attempt but he tried again and I did answer but I hated it. I a don't like phone calls as it is.

Mydogatemypurse · 10/03/2020 20:52

I think it might give you an idea of how the conversation might flow. Plus it's actually quite reassuring that he wants to get to know you rather than just texting x

TheYearOfTheDog · 10/03/2020 20:52

I used to hate this suggestion as well. I"m not good on the phone. I get that they want to see if there's any kind of easy rapport but ime talking on the phone to somebody you've never met is stilted and awkward.
I used to respond, ''oh no, the phone interview, no thank you''. As a compromise, suggest sending a recording on whatsapp.

Daffie19 · 10/03/2020 20:55

I think you know where you'd stand on the phone.
I met my OH online, we spoke on the phone before meeting, had like a 3 hour chat, we just got on.
We've been together 7 years this year.
I'd recommend it, even tho, I'm the same as you, hate phone calls!

Divebar · 10/03/2020 20:58

OMG you’ve got to speak on the phone before you meet them.... you can tell a LOT about someone from speaking to them without the distraction of looks. Speaking to someone can help with the internal risk assessment you should be doing before you go off and meet them. I also have a thing about voices - there are certain voices that I find very off putting and quite frankly I would not waste their time meeting them.

KittyLane1 · 10/03/2020 20:59

I always insisted on a video call before we met. Saved me time and effort if I didnt like them, if they refused then they were not the one for me, simple in my mind. (Got the idea from a high ranking military man I dated who always checked to make sure the girl was genuine)

TheYearOfTheDog · 10/03/2020 21:02

So did you ever have a situation where a man said ''I'm going to wish you all the best and leave it here'' after the video call?!

Original poster
TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 10/03/2020 21:02

It’s funny that it divides opinion. I really can’t imagine being put off by someone’s voice. Their smell on the other hand...

OP posts:
Original poster
TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 10/03/2020 21:03

I really don’t see how it would contribute much to a risk assessment either. Genuinely.

OP posts:
Original poster
TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 10/03/2020 21:06

I really enjoy the process of getting my glad rags on and going out to meet random strangers Grin

I sound quite blunt and snappy on the phone, but in real life my winning smile and slim waist distract from that!

OP posts:
moonsnake · 10/03/2020 21:09

I always talk on the phone first.

I rule out 99% of men I talk to from that initial conversation. I can't imagine the awful awkward dates I would of had if I didn't do this 🙈

Lynda07 · 10/03/2020 21:09

Voices are very important.

They can of course be misleading. Someone could have a beautiful, lyrical - even sexy - speaking voice and be nothing like their voice in person :-).

However, if someone has a squeaky voice, swallows their words, sounds 'rough', mispronounces words, that would be a definite no for most people.

Talking on the 'phone also gives you a better idea of their personality and what they believe in.

Smell is important too but unfortunately you cannot gauge that over the telephone, I daresay many people are disappointed.

I honestly can't imagine internet dating, it didn't exist when I was young but if I did, I'd have several phone conversations before meeting (in a public place).

mamato3lads · 10/03/2020 21:11

Definitely a quick chat.... what if he has a really weird helium balloon voice or something? I'd want to know. Seriously though, you can tell so much from someones voice and the way they interact on the phone so a flirty chat would be on the cards before meeting for sure Wink

otterhound · 10/03/2020 21:23

When i was doing old i’d not want go on a date unless we’d spoken on the phone first.
You can learn more about someone in a 5 minute conversation than you can in weeks of texting
(Which it seems everyone but me loves)

Helpmechangemymindsetplease · 10/03/2020 21:24

I think best not to talk before meeting. Recently dated someone who at times sounded effeminate but at other times not at all. If I had heard his voice on the phone I might not have met up, but as it is, there were so many sides to his voice and way of being, a lot of which I did find very attractive.

Sadly we got to 7 dates and then took it no further Sad.

Original poster
TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 10/03/2020 21:25

I don’t want to spend weeks texting either - my favourites are the ones who ask you out in the first couple of messages.

OP posts:
category12 · 10/03/2020 21:42

I hate phone calls. I'd rather meet someone face to face first. Phone calls are for work and family.

Original poster
TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 10/03/2020 22:14

Yes, it’s like ‘are you my mum?’

OP posts:
SavageBeauty73 · 10/03/2020 22:15

I do a phone chat now. Haven't got time to waste.

WildestDreamsSunset · 10/03/2020 22:23

I’d been chatting to a guy recently on POF for a couple of days & we’d talked about having a date. I said I’d like a phone call first. I’m so glad I did, because he was an absolute nightmare on the phone - waffled on about himself non stop and wouldn’t let me get a word in! If I’d gone in a date with him I’d have had to endure that for the whole date instead of just a phone call. So, yes, definitely have the ‘phone interview’ .

category12 · 10/03/2020 22:35

But aren't people more likely to fluff "phone interviews" than face to face when they can see your body language and aren't desperate to fill silence, and they can talk about what's going on around you and other stuff? Maybe it's because I dislike phoning, but it's really awkward talking to someone when you can't see how they're reacting and I can see how a nervous guy might blather on about himself just to fill airtime.