Partner watched porn after we had sex

[KrustyTheKat]

So I caught my partner watching porn after we had sex. It was literally 10 minutes afterwards. I confronted him and he said that he just feels like watching porn after sex. I asked if he was unsatisfied, he said no. I explained how that made me feel like I’m not enough for him. I don’t think he gets it.

Did he cum during sex with you ?

If he did , this is a bit odd. If he was still horny, he should have carried on with you. I wouldn't like this, not straight after sex.

Seems unusual unless he didn't cum like PP has asked.

If you tell him you don't like it he shouldn't do it again.

He did cum, everything was fine (so I thought). It doesn’t make sense it just makes me feel like I don’t satisfy him enough. We’ve been together 3 years, has he been doing this the whole time?...I’m almost too afraid to ask

Is he a new partner?

Does seem rather odd tbh. Id assume there was a porn addiction going on

Porn addiction.

I asked him about having a porn addiction and he denied it (surprise, surprise). He said he watches porn a few times a week at most. I’ve asked him why he does it after we just had sex and he said he doesn’t know it’s just a habit. We’re engaged to be married, and this has made me feel really crap and unattractive.

It could be that he’s still horny afterwards. It’s nothing personal. I get like this. I’m very satisfied by what I’ve had, I just want more and not everyone is able to carry on after they have cum.

Are your sex drives compatible? It might be that he’s turning to porn to meet his needs. I do it myself when I cannot fantasize about something.

We both have a good sex drive, I’m always up for having sex (unless I’m ill).
We had sex, I got up afterwards and was in and out of the bedroom getting ready, he was still in bed on his phone watching porn. He tried to close it down but I saw it.
He made no attempt to ask me to stay in the bed or even to come back to bed, instead he turned to porn.
This indicates to me that he’s looking for something other than me to sexually satisfy him?

I woundnt like this at all op . Porn is a no go I'm
My relationship. I have stated this from
The beginning 11 years ago. Suprise suprise he doesn't watch it 😟 I stupidly believed him but found out he has two years ago . He could tell what it done to me finding out so I hope he doesn't do it again for both our sakes . He knows he would be gone this time and it woundnt be down to me . Porn makes me feel worthless . Unattractive ect . I do have low self Esteem and I am insecure but I think even if I was different I would still be the same because I hate it . I hate how women think they should put up with it because 'that's what men do 🤬' x

Honestly just ask him if he’s still horny afterwards.

It’s an awkward conversation to have, I’ve put my foot in it in the past when I’ve tried explaining, but it’s come across as I’m a deranged sex pest, and only see the person as a sex device 🤣 it’s
Also been seen as a way of badgering for sex.

And yes I’ve used the ‘I don’t know’ thing beciase I don’t know how to explain without offending the other person, when it’s actually all me. And
We all know the it’s not you, but me thing isn’t always believed. So for a quiet life I don’t know.

I’m still fuming about this. We spoken again he’s still maintaining that he doesn’t know why he watches porn after sex but it’s just a habit he’s formed over time.
He has said he won’t do it anymore but how would I know anyway?...surely he’s doing this because he’s not sexually satisfied? If that’s the case he surely can’t stop?

It is really hard to explain, why I avoid it myself.
I'm as satisfied by as much as another person could possibly satisfy me. But for some reason, I want more.

And I can understand how this could make the other person feel.
It's a hard balance trying to not fuck up and offending the other person.

How can you try and explain to someone that you are really happy with everything, but you still have to finish yourself off? Of course, the other person is going to be pissed off, there's no easy way to phrase it. I mean how could you possibly respond reasonably to this? I've tried a few times, and well, no longer see them.

It could have developed over time from a previous relationship. But again, not wanting to come across as some sex weirdo.

The feeling, the need, the urge, I cannot begin to express is, other than afterwards, there is a complete sense of euphoria that lasts longer than I can get from a person. But then it goes beyond that. I don't always watch porn, I haven't a decent of 'wank bank' material to go on.

And again, no reflection on the person, if I go too much into what I remember, this can, of course, bring back good memories from then, and comparisons start to be made.

And yea he might just have a porn addiction.

I'm just sharing it from another side.

Although going on from this, are erotic books also considered in the same view as porn?

ffswhatnext thanks for your input. Are you saying that even if you orgasm during sex you would still crave something more that can’t be satisfied with more sex?

I don't mind porn at all and I even watch it although rarely but I would be very unhappy if my husband watched it after having sex, like what's the point of having sex if your just going to watch porn after?? I would feel exactly as you do

Yes, it gets to that point. Hence my questioning about drive.
I can and do go beyond the third a day, every day. I've tried various things over the years to resolve it.

The reason why I asked the general question to anyone really, as if literature is deemed more 'acceptable' I do use this as a means to be more discreet. There are some amazing ones out there. And for some reason, you don't need a vast collection.

ffs so you make yourself cum after sex. And doing something with the person you have had sex with doesn't feel the same? I've never heard of this and I would hate to be the person on the other end.

Might not be what you want to hear OP but if your expectation that his only source of sexual satisfaction is you, you're in for disappointment. He likes looking at porn, you know this, I doubt he will stop as clearly he gets gratification from it, as well as sex with you. Not sure why he can only like one or the other or they are mutually exclusive.

I wouldn't like it, but think porn is vile and problematic anyway. I would also think the same as you and assume he enjoyed the sex but is gratified by watching porn. Perhaps real sex doesn't make him feel like a man in the way that watching men pound poor women within an inch of their life does, pretending he is them. Grim.

I cum during sex. And again afterwards. Depending what we’re doing before as well.

I’d hate to be the person on the other end. Hence I avoid the conversation.

It’s not something that naturally happened overtime so I could unpick it. From the first time I was like omfg this is awesome. I need more.

If it wasn’t because I am aware of other resources, I would be watching porn several times a week.

It’s not the actors. I couldn’t give a fuck what they look like. It’s the action. And they just make it easier than having to read for example, like fast forward etc loool.

dontgobaconmyheart I’m not saying he can only like one or the other (I never expressed that) what I said is the fact he does it right after having sex with me this makes me feel like I don’t satisfy him.
I don’t have a problem with porn but watching it right after being intimate is just wrong

Porn addiction comes to mind.

You can assume he's always done this and can also assume that he will continue, in some way, to do this even if he says he won't. I've watched this...and experienced this play out 1000 times.

Would you want more sex after the first time? If you're up for that let him know...he may want more but be afraid of telling you incase its been as pestering. Or it may just be a "porn addiction". I dont throw that phrase around lightly because I think many men watch porn now and then and personally I no longer have an issue , I don't see that as an addiction. However, I honestly wouldn't feel happy with DH watching it in bed straight after sex with me unless he has told me hes still horny and I, for whatever reason, dont want any more.

No ethical or moral standpoint on porn being expressed here, cant be doing with another porn use thread being derailed by that argument.

mamato3lads That’s what’s bothering me. He never asked me back to bed, I thought we had the sort of relationship where we could be open with sexual discussions. I have a good sex drive so would have been up for more. The fact he never asked but proceeded to watch porn just says to me he didn’t want anymore intimacy with me and preferred porn

The pestering thing can be a huge issue. How many people are reading to go again, and especially so soon afterwards.

You only have to read some comments on hear to know how the conversation could go. And don’t forget, blokes also read this site. As a female I find it incredibly hard to deal with the pest comments or whatever, and think how many blokes in their imaginations would love it? I still get a hard time. Now imagine the Male version of me? 🤣 He would get ripped to shreds.

There is of course a risky way to test this.
Next time, suggest round two or whatever.
If he goes for the next round, you know the issue. It might be advisable to try it more than once to get a better idea. Tiredness etc could effect the results.

I'd feel the same as you op.