He draws women who look nothing like me

[Drawblanks]

Found out that this guy who i really thought was interested has made hundreds of drawings of women from one specific ethnicity and body shape that is different to mine.

I was going to ask him out for a drink but then i saw his art and now im not sure if i am what he is attracted to.

Silly? I heard that artists draw their muses, what they find beautiful etc.

Oh and his ex is also of that ethnicity and body shape.

So when did he draw all these? Before you met?

You can have a ‘type’ and still be attracted to people who do not fit it. What have you got to lose?

I wouldn't think too much into it.

I'm a portrait artist and weirdly find myself only drawing particular type of men, or men who I find attractive. None of my ex's ever saw this as a problem/threat. It's just my way of appreciating the people's features.

Perhaps he’s attracted to your personality and character.

It's really easy to draw beautiful women less lines and what not. Also the same thing over and over again. He's just really bad at drawing.

I draw trees 🤷🏻‍♀️

I guess i am insecure. Yeah he's been drawing them for years way before we met.

Just ask him. If he says no then he says non. If he IS only attracted to women who look a certain way that isn't a reflection on you.

Your post screams of insecurity. I’m not sure you’re in a good place for a relationship if you’re envious of drawings he did before you met. An artist will use multiple sources, how would you feel if he was drawing naked life models without you there? If that’s something that would set off
Your insecurity may I suggest doing one of two things- dealing with your insecurity as a single person or not dating figure artists.

Purplebob 😂

Auridon thats an interesting explanation, thanks! Could be i guess

TheStoic, i know i will sound incredibly vain but i actually want the person to be attracted physically to me, too not just my personality.

Annielennox thats it you see, i feel jealous that the type he finds attractive is not 'me'.

Thatswot you're right but its rare to fancy someone who isnt typically the type.. as i'm doing the first move im sort of thinking its highly ill be rejected whereas if he asked me i may think oh maybe im his new type haha iyswim

Stinky I dont care about drawing naked women, its that he only draws one ethnicity of women, hundreds of drawings just of one ethnicity which is different to his.

Sleeping you're right.

My husband wasn't my type really, he is bald and dark, I liked fair with blue eyes and light hair so the polar opposite but I'm actually now more attracted to him than I have been to any previous partners :) and he looks way better bald than with hair.. I love it.

I've come to realise that I don't really have a type.

I have a personality type - confident, outgoing and above all funny. My physical 'type' changes depending on who I'm attracted to personality wise.

With my first love, I was only physically fancied (the other men I thought were good looking, rather than wanted to jump their bones) were all Billy Idol types- like him. With my first husband it was thin, hairless men. With my second (and hopefully last lol) husband it's hairy, bulky, bald men I give a second glance.

In between my physical type was rarely similar. If they made me laugh, I fancied them physically.

To me, having a singular physical type is just strange. It's like deciding on your favourite foods purely on what they look like.

It sounds like that's all he can draw.

There are some male celebrities who probably fit into the perfect /beautiful category that I find attractive and admire but I wouldn't choose to date them if I was single. It doesn't mean he only likes these women op.

But this is what he's drawing, OP, not the type of woman he ogles in the street, or him watching only porn that involves one body type and ethnicity (not that I think either of those are acceptable, anyway). He may be limited by the models available for life-drawing, or it may be that women of that body type and ethnicity dominated as models in his life classes in the past, hence he finds them easier to draw now...?

In the absence of any other evidence, I think it's to do with drawing abilities, not attraction. Are they any good, the drawings?

I think you need to stay single for a while and work on your insecurity issues

Annielennox thats it you see, i feel jealous that the type he finds attractive is not 'me'.

@Drawblanks why would you feel jealous, is he not going on a date with you rather than women who look similar to his artworks? The men I've drawn/draw don't all look identical to my past partners. When I draw them, as an artist, it's generally to do with their features and how we find them fascinating rather than just outright attractive. I am known for the portraits I do. Maybe it's the same for him?

When you meet someone, you know that person's personality and you form a bond with them. It's completely different.

Also note that the previous person he was with,who looks similar to his art, is an ex.

Well it didn’t work out for him and his ex did it!
Time for a new muse!
I’m an artist, I love drawing the female figure. I’m not attracted to females (unless you could Penelope Cruise).

If he fetishises a particular ethnicity, then I'd steer clear.

You haven't even asked him out yet, it doesn't even sound like you know him that well. So you can either ask him out and he declines, or you ask him out and he accepts and you can actually get to know him.

I'm a straight woman, who loves to draw beautiful naked women. Art doesn't equal sexual attractiveness or mean he "fetishises" them.

TheGirl that's really interesting. I had a type but after my ex i did a 180 😂

Thingsdogetbetter, i wonder if mean also have a personality type? Because i heard a few women say the same as you, 'as long as they make me laugh' as the winning ticket to their heart.

Vampire ouch lol but you're not the first to say this so maybe there is somrthing in drawing what comes easy perhaps?

Bobsters the more i think about his drawings the more i think he is obsessed.

Fuschia thats food for thought. I think his drawing is good enough but i like a different style of drawing and i always preferred nature as a subject.

annie yes thats true, she is an ex. I suppose if there was a variety of women i may also be saying oh he knew all these women blah blah. I suspect lowlandlucky is right, its my insecurity. And just to be clear he hasnt said yes to going out, ive yet to ask him. Maybe my subconscious is finding excuses not to do it? Thanks for explaining your view point of it as an artist.

Yoga thats a good point about drawing female body though not into them srxually (safe for that exception 😂😋) maybe he does just find them fascinating or easy to draw from years of practice?!

Category, is drawing one ethnicity fetishizing though? Admittedly some of the stereotypes are exaggerated in his drawings...oops i just answered my question.. ugh its not looking good..

Fluffballs thanks for your reply.

I'm not saying it definitely is fetishising them, cos of course I haven't seen what he draws etc, but some people do fetishise particular ethnicities and I find that problematic and repellent.

Thanks everyone i've decided to invite him along to drinks with other people instead of just me to get to know him better.