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Original poster

Oh shit...he has a six pack

44 replies

Pandamoore · 08/03/2020 04:56

So I right swiped a guy on dating ap and we matched and got talking. He's asked me out on a date date. And THEN I notice: he has a friggin 6 pack.

Sat there just polished off a chippy like, oh.fuck.
(I feel a gym montage coming on xD)

I mean I am not a gym bunny and could do with losing half a stone tbh. I dunno if I'm balzy enough to go on this date haha. ...actually, yeah i am. But I probably shouldnt lol.

Anyone else gone on a date with someone they worried might take one look at them and scarper?

I guess it's just a date and it probably wouldn't go anywhere anyway but its been a while since I've dated so...would just be nice if it was nice you know.

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 08/03/2020 05:46

Ha! I married one! DH is seriously fit...always has been. He's got a six pack and surfs and runs and all kinds. I have never been very fit....we've been together for almost 18 years!

If he looks at you and scarpers then fine! You don't want to be with someone like that anyway!

Whiffenpoofs · 08/03/2020 05:59

Honestly, don't worry about it too much - I am a size 20 (size 18 when I met my DH) and he has a totally different body shape (muscular and toned). He is very active (runs, cycles to/from work, goes to the gym, plays football) while I am not active at all.

I don't think his body is "better" than mine or that his lifestyle makes him morally better than me.

Please don't assume that other people share your own hang-ups about your body! And enjoy the dating... Grin

Downunderduchess · 08/03/2020 06:03

Go for it! I’ve had a long term FWB who when we met was the hottest/fittest man I’d ever seen. He was/is always attracted to me, extra curvy/cuddly.

R2519 · 08/03/2020 06:18

I have always been very active and in my youth had a 6 pack and spent stupid hours at the gym. Personally I have always preferred women with curves rather than gym bodies. My wife is a 18-20 and has the perfect body in my opinion. Everyone is different so don't ever feel someone has a better body than you. We also all like different things too!

Good luck with the date btw!

yorkshireteaspoonie · 08/03/2020 06:47

I'd be more concerned he was a gym bore than worrying what I looked like^^ lol x

GoBrookeYourself · 08/03/2020 06:55

I'd be more concerned he was a gym bore than worrying what I looked like

This!

stuckinthemiddlewithtwats · 08/03/2020 07:03

Don't worry about it. I went out with someone who was seriously built, and I'm overweight - he was convinced I was the more attractive of the two of us and thought I had the perfect body.

My current DP weighs almost 5 stone less than I do. He's more than happy with my body. We met online so neither of us were fully aware of each other's body shapes/weight before our first date. He's also more insecure about his body than I am.

Eckhart · 08/03/2020 07:15

But what if he smells or turns out to be a misogynist or a serial cheater? Would you stay with him, because the perfect body is the priority? Or is the perfect body, in fact, the least of your concerns?

Eckhart · 08/03/2020 07:20

Why has he got a picture of his torso on a dating app? I know many do, but that would highlight an issue to me. Posting half naked pictures wouldn't appeal to me, unless it's playing volleyball on the beach with friends or something.

WeirdCatLady · 08/03/2020 07:25

Yup. DH is seriously fit, oh god his arms Wink

I am by no means fit Grin

We’ve been married for 25 years this year.

It really is what is inside that matters more.

Leflic · 08/03/2020 07:27

I agree with everyone who says he will most likely view your body differently to you. I also a dated a very fit bloke whilst being definitely on the chunky side 14-16.. And he left me for an even bigger woman.

I also agree with the concern about his actual photos. Is his abs his selling point? That’s not so good. Men work best when they keep the good stuff to share with their girlfriends, not the world.

Growingboys · 08/03/2020 07:33

I had a boyfriend with amazing abs. I remember lying in bed watching him go to the loo and thinking he looks like something out of a magazine. He was incredibly good looking and sexy. He didn't mind at all that I was not a gym bunny (normal size12).

HOWEVER the six pack came at a price. He didn't eat carbs after 6pm, no booze in the week, and had loads of other very dreary rules that made life with him extremely dull.

He's moved back to Australia now and I am much happier with my definitely not six pack DH who is far more relaxed and good fun.

Growingboys · 08/03/2020 07:36

Agree with PPs that I'm not sure I'd want to go on a date with a man who posted a half naked pic in the first place

SimonJT · 08/03/2020 07:37

I have a six pack, my boyfriend does not. Me having a six pack doesn’t mean my body is better/worth more than his. I think his is much more attractive than mine/body types like mine. Different people like different things.

Eesha · 08/03/2020 07:51

Go for it, a six pack doesn't make you any more or less valuable in life. I've always got attention and I'm a 14 to 16, mum tum now too. My FWB has a great shape but thinks I'm the bees knees. As someone so rightly just said, don't assume others share the same hangups as you do about your own body!

GraceBelly · 08/03/2020 07:56

So what?
There are many guys without a six pack who only prefer slim athletic women.

It means nothing. If all you have is half a stone overweight you're being so insecure, he probably thinks you slim then.

Gemi33 · 08/03/2020 08:03

I have just joined a dating site but am too scared to get talking to anyone because I am quite overweight (size 16-18) and everyone seems out of my league, I live in fear of exactly what you have said - that I would go to meet someone and they would take one look and disappear! I'd really like to meet someone though. Reading this thread has actually made me feel a bit better.

xx

Kraejka · 08/03/2020 08:08

It might not even be a photo of him anyway... lots of people have fake photos on dating sites.
Go along and see what he's like.

Whiffenpoofs · 08/03/2020 08:12

@Gemi33 - please do not let your size put you off! I know it's a cliche, but a decent person does not judge someone else's body in a cruel way.

It can be surprising when we find that someone else can look at our bodies and find them sexy, especially if we don't hold ourselves in high regard.

Also, a thought that kept me going when OD, is that our bodies change so much during our lives. As a woman, our bodies change depending on the time of the month, if we have children etc. I had a "take it or leave it" attitude - if someone wasn't interested in me, it was their loss.

I did not want to meet someone that wouldn't want to know me at a size 18, and for whom I would be on a constant diet etc to suit. I wanted to find someone who loved me for me, and I did (I'm sure you will too!) Thanks

Eckhart · 08/03/2020 08:16

@Gemi33 If you're a nice person, NOBODY is out of your league.

I've had a relationship with a beautiful looking selfish person, and also a fairly rich selfish person. I left both because I favour decency, kindness, honesty etc over wealth, looks, high level of education etc.

Go dating and rate them on compatibility. They'll do the same for you, but you have to realise that for you, the process is about whether you like them, not whether they like you.

Readyfor2020 · 08/03/2020 08:23

I matched with a good looking man on Tinder. Got chatting. Seemed lovely. Met IRL a day or so later and I remember thinking how he was about a million times better looking in real life. Figured he wouldn't want to see me again.

Reader, I married him❤️

Go for it.

Readyfor2020 · 08/03/2020 08:24

He's also the kindest most caring loyal man in the world.

feelingverylazytoday · 08/03/2020 08:25

Lots of men have six packs, they don't need to be obsessive about the gym, just be reasonably fit and be a normal healthy weight. Men are meant to have a lower % of body fat than women, hence their muscles are more visible.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 08/03/2020 08:56

I had a date with someone who looked like an anatomical drawing of all muscles in the body but with the skin on, he even has a blog with 10,000s of followers, I am, in a good day, size 18.

Very cultured, highly educated and interesting guy with a very good nature, but we didn’t click due to height rather than muscle but we kept meeting for coffees (we could spend HOURS philosophising about life) until we found other people we found attractive.

Muscular people don’t need to be dull, just not make their life all about their body.

Whatsyournumber · 08/03/2020 09:04

Once upon a time I ignored all the moves my super-fit best friend was making on me, because I thought it wasn't possible that he actually fancied average looking me. A few years later after moving on in our lives we both admitted that we had had massive crushes on each other.

My hang-ups about 'punching above my weight' made me miss my chance with him, don't let the same thing happen to you.