I've been stood up!

[battleroyal]

Just that & I am very angry and upset!

Back story, been dating the guy for the last 2 months, going out around twice a week but message every day etc. All was going well (or so I thought)
Tonight we were going to stay in, get a takeaway & watch a film but that was supposed to be at 7 and it's now 845!

He messaged me this morning, chatted a bit as usual & he said that he was meeting his friend for lunch & drinks but would be ready to see me at 7...

I have not heard from him since 4pm, i asked if he was coming here or me to his, no response.
I've messaged 3 times 😢

Not everyone is your ex you crazy lady

@Skierrdery who are you talking to? You refer to 'the OP' as if you are a narrator on a TV show.

I think see if he gives a heartfelt and genuine apology. If so, could be a one off. However, it isn’t great behaviour. The true sign will be if he is apologetic and tries to confirm another date, or if he is blasé and doesn’t see what the fuss is about. Either way, shitty evening for you OP, the worst bit is not knowing what’s going on. I feel for you!

As to the age gap, some 35 year olds are still “going out with the lads” and some 25 year olds are settled down and no interest in clubs or pubs. Age is irrelevant.

Think you are absolutely nuts if you see him again!!

Why do people accept this level of crap from people? You're only together 2 months and he coincidentally falls asleep the exact same time as the rugby is on???

Some people are so desperate for a relationship they will accept anything.

Fell asleep? What a load of crap.

Anyway good luck OP and hope I'm really really wrong!!

Wow some people are judgemental in age. 🙄 let us know how it went op today.

Hope he’s remorseful today!

I don't buy that. He fell asleep with his phone on silent and didn't set an alarm to ensure he didn't let you down? It's either BS or he's an idiot.

I'm like @WhiteBadger - at 2 months I wouldn't be invested in the relationship, and at 2 months people are on their 'best behaviour' still. This is his best behaviour. It will only happen more, the more comfortable he gets in the relationship

I'm not looking for a lifetime of being stood up by a falling-asleep person, so I'd not want to see him again.

I put my phone down & went to sleep - what a waste of a Saturday night!

He messaged me when he 'woke up' saying, shit, fell asleep and just woke up etc and then called me to explain.
He didn't sound extremely drunk and asked me to go over. I said it was too late and I don't like to be messed around.

I've spoken to him this morning, he apologised again and said he thought he set an alarm (BS)
He actually finds the whole thing funny believe it or not!
He is apologetic but says he is laughing because he can't believe he done it??

I have been a bit concerned with the age gap already as although I like to meet up with my friends for dinner & drinks etc, I am not one for going out getting really drunk every weekend, which I am worried he might be...

This has really confused me now as I liked him a lot, but this has put me off him a bit.. but also first offence so maybe fair to give a second chance?

I wouldn't sorry op

You're still in the honeymoon stage you should be dealing with crap like this from him.

He should still be making all the moves to impress you.

I'd cut your losses here and end it. Someone who didn't think my time was as important as theirs would loose all my respect.

Shouldn't be*

I’d tell him you’re not happy, and if it happens again you won’t be seeing again. No second chances.

Nah. Bin him off.

Finish with him. If he was genuinely sorry he would not be laughing about it. If you give him another chance he will just do it again as he believes you will allow it.

The laughing is another negative. He obviously doesn’t think it’s a big deal, which, to me, suggests it may happen again when there’s a match on or he goes to the pub with a mate.

I think people can make mistakes, so personally I’d let this go and give him another chance. But my rule is any repeat of the sort of behaviour that you’ve already had words about means that’s it.

I won't call laughing a negative, in this world there are people who laugh when they are nervous and uncomfortable.

It's totally your choice op, if you don't see legs on this going anywhere, call quits, if you want to give him another chance go for it. Don't let anyone's opinions cloud your judgement, take the advice and use it as you feel fit.

This would annoy me. Does he follow the rugby? I think it's a pathetic excuse and I can't be doing with flaky fellas who think they can laugh everything off with bullshit lies. My guessing is that 2 months in he can start to 'be himself' more.. up to you whether you keep seeing him OP but i'd call this the last strike. The more you put up with, the more he'll dish out

I was going to ask how he tried to make amends before I saw your update.
Truly apologetic? How can I make it up to you?
No, it was a laughing matter, and you're still at the stage where he should be trying to make a good impression.
He's probably a decent enough chap, but at a different life stage to you.
If you really like him, maybe one more chance, but make it clear that you don't relish having your Saturday evenings spoiled like this, and he has to be seriously impressive to make up for this.

I went through something similar 2.5 months in with someone I was seeing last year. Everyone was like dont be so hard on him. It some time give him another chance. Worse decision I made. I ended up giving him another chance and it got worse, it worse. I ended up getting extremely fucked over.
Now I'm not saying your situation is the same but Iin hindsight I should've ended it then and I realised that I actually lowered bar on the basis that I didnt want to seem unreasonable.
In retrospect what I did learn is that if someone needs a 2nd chance the probability is they dont deserve one. Especially so early on.

I wouldn’t see him again. No hard feelings but couldn’t be arsed with flakiness snd id want someone who wants to see me enough to stay awake 😃

It’s not supposed to be this hard OP. Especially after 2 months.

If this was an accident, if he was really into you, he’d be really apologetic. As a PP says, this is the stage where you ‘should’ both still
Be trying to make a good impression on each other. Not missing dates due to ‘falling asleep’ then laughing about it.

Switch the situation up. Would you have fallen asleep, then laughed about it to him? No? Why not?

Sounds to me like he see you in a different way than you seem him.

After his reaction today, I’d be cooling it right off.

So many typos... apologies.

Op don’t worry about the age gap, I’m 34 and my partner is 26 and he is ridiculously mature. I have a 15 and 13 year old and he is great with that and we have been together 4 years. Ignore what some people say about age difference.