Think my hubby is up to no good (dating sites??)

[Mumo2020]

No idea how to approach this so looking for some advice. During a very happy time in our marriage I smelt a rat and did some searching and found he had a 'looking for fun' profile on a dating site :( I confronted him and WW3 kicked off - he smashed up my laptop then said the 'lads at work' made it for a laugh, didn't believe this and the profile disappeared and he swore he would never let his mates do it again eye roll This was a good 10 years ago.
Since then I have avoided any looking at his phone etc as I don't think I could handle it if I found something. We now have 4 children and life has been good, however, I just started a full time job and I know he is struggling with this change.
Tonight his phone was flashing & he was outside so I pressed a button to light it up and it was passcode locked, as (Iphone and no idea how they work) I swiped to the left and there appeared to be some 'frequently used apps' in there was Tinder and plenty of fish.
I genuinely have no idea how to approach this. I did make up some profiles to try and 'find' him with no luck so maybe he isn't active? I have no idea. Previously when I have mentioned such apps he has sniggered about how desperate they are?
He will deny/delete I am sure. I want to get to the bottom/crux of any issue???
We rely on each other for childcare and if he storms out I can't go to work :( SIlly but true. I have no family support and few friends :/
No one to talk it through with :(

I’m back again. When I found my partner on dating sites the first time he said i was wrong, then. I showed him screen shots he said it was from before we met, then I told him I had taken his profile photo and be told me he never met anyone, or even message anyone he doesn’t know why he was even on it.
I believed him and we got married. All my friends said what everyone above is saying - not to believe him, even if he didn’t meet anyone or have sex he had the intent, he was still deceitful.

Next time if happened I knew I needed evidence for my own mental health as he was a first class liar. I didn’t get proof he met anyone but I dId get proof he was messaging people. So I left. We had been together 12 years so it was bloody hard. And two years on some days it’s still hard. But I know it was the right decision.

You deserve someone who will love you more than that

Oh god what more concrete proof do you need? Show your 4 children that after 15 years of marriage and 4 kids that you deserve more respect than this.

Why do so many women put up with/minimalise such shit?

This is what you are teaching your children.

He's minimalising what he's done

You have proof

He has crossed the line

It is a sad decision to make, I walked away (recently) from a 20 year marriage with 3 children

He has broken your trust and crossed the line, you owe him nothing

I understand that it's hard to disentangle from him. But if I were you, I'd get legal advice on finances and assets now. Once I had done that, I'd tell him to leave. That the marriage is over, there won't be any intimacy and you'll be taking your time in sorting out the arrangements. That you are looking forward to finding a new partner yourself.
Then do just that. Move on emotionally from this untrustworthy, disrespectful man. Take your time coming to terms with it and sorting out living arrangements. You'll never be happy with him and you don't want to look back and think you've wasted the best years of your life on someone who was looking outside the marriage.

Smashing your laptop counts as domestic violence. And I'm wondering what solid proof you are needing other than that? This is a man who will intimidate you and destroy your property. He's a liar and he's out to cheat. He doesn't keep his promises.

Short of catching him in bed with another woman, I'm not sure what else you are needing?